FLUSH the damn URINAL! (ugh. TMI)

Background: I work a third shift job. In an effort to stay awake, I drink a fair amount of caffeniated bverages (coffee being the primary choice). As a result of this, I will tend to make more than one trip to the little boys room in a given evening. That said:


Geh! There are few things nastier to me than saddling up to a urinal that has funky yellowed-to-the-point-of-near-brown stale piss in it! So I move to the next one…


Dear God! Make them stop!

And if weren’t a doper, it would only be mildly disgusting to me. But no. I have to know what the grand master says about the subject!

I swear to Og. The night I catch one of you fuckers not flushing that damn thing, you are going to be eating urinal cake for desert! Yea, verily you will. I don’t give a fuck if you don’t wanna touch the handle. Use your goddamn foot or something. It’ll probably be the most exercise you have gotten in fucking months. Or, here’s a novel fucking idea: Wash your hands afterwards! Fuck me Harder! This board needs the :puke:, and how. Oh my. I have been pissed (heh) about this for damn weeks, but it was those HUGE VILE BLACK EXCESSIVELY LONG PUBIC HAIRS that finally let out the rant demon. I swear to you all as I live and breathe that I will hunt these bastards down and piss on them myself if this continues. So bloody disgusting.

And What the Fuck is in these guys’ diets that their urine is such a horrible shade of yellow? I mean, I understand that pee=yellow, but this is some sick man-mutant piss here folks. Not your average everyday shade of waste.

Another thing on preview: What the hell is wrong with this sad sack that has pubes falling out all over the damn urinal? Is he pulling them out to kill time whilst shaking the dew off of his lilly? Is he balding down there? I thought pubes were, like, industrial strength?! I will certainly go bald up top before I go bald down below. What is with this freak?!



Well sorr-reee. Next time I use the men’s room, I’ll flush. :smiley:

– Dragonblink, who just realized that joke isn’t nearly as funny as it would otherwise be because she has to explain that she’s a chick.

I gotta say that it is funnier with that piece of information. :smiley:

I’ve got to totally agree with you here. I don’t want anyone to think I’m obsessive with this, but when I got my current job at a University, I thought I’d be working around a higher class of folks. So I thought my co-workers would at least be in the habit of flushing the damn urinal when they are through and washing their hands. Well, I was wrong. The only thing I can figure is that there really are two kinds of people in the world, those that like the smell of urine, and those that don’t. :rolleyes:

What are you ** d_redguy ** my long lost twin? I work 3rd shift (note the time this posted) and have noticed this lately too. I thought about a pit thread but I’m not as irate as you are. Besides, Dopers never let me down. I knew if I waited a bit someone would start a thread.

What are these shitheads thinking? The urinal fairy is going to come in after them and flush? I just can’t fathom the mindset that thinks “I’ll just leave my piss here for someone else to flush”.

I work in the corperate building for a telecommunications company. The bathrooms are very nice & very clean, even on a Monday morning, 2 days after they were last cleaned. Touch the fucking handle, it ain’t going to kill you…but I might.

Some people I know* don’t flush a urinal because they have hangups about touching anything near the urinal.

*Not me, I’m a flusher (and I put the toilet seat down at home :D).

“But there’s holes in the bottom! Won’t gravity just pull it all down by itself?” :smack:

(Yes, of course, and the handle was put there so that you can grab onto it if the floor’s slippery.)


I’m on a university campus almost every day of the week. Women’s bathrooms are no better than men’s (not that I’ve personally investigated the men’s rooms, but I can imagine).

My requests of my fellow students and the staff at school (and I’ve seen both exit stalls, not flush and leave without washing their hands) are:

  1. Flush. It’s courtesy. Really. I don’t really want to talk about what you didn’t flush, but it wasn’t something I needed to see.

  2. Please make sure all sanitary products find their way into the trash bin that is provided in each stall. Again, no one else wants to see it.

  3. If you ‘hover’ because you’re afraid of your ass touching the seat, that’s fine, but wipe it down. There’s a splash problem with the increased distance and I don’t want to sit on a wet toilet seat.

  4. Used toilet paper should go in the toilet. This is where flushing comes in handy - the used TP and your bodily waste go away and no one else has to see it. Amazing, isn’t it?

  5. If you choose not to wash your hands, that’s your business. I’d prefer that you wash them, in case I have to shake hands with you, but I can’t force you to.

  6. If you do wash your hands, put the paper towel in the trash can. The floor is not a trash receptacle.

[channeling Bill Clinton]

I feel your pain


We now have automatic urinal flushers, woo hoo!

Hey, I can appreciate that sentiment, especially when visualizing these troglodytes in my mind’s eye. Use a paper towel if you must. Or kick the handle. That’s right, make like Bruce Lee and shit.

You don’t even want me to get started here…I ain’t touching that thing. I use my foot on the seat to lift it and close it when finished (not at home:p). And they piss on the seats in there, too. Probably because they don’t want to go in the urinal.:rolleyes: See the viscious cycle at work here people?

Cheesesteak - good to see I am not alone (well, sorta. I mean, I don’t wish it on you that you have to deal with it or anything…you know)

I have thought about starting thie thread for months. I too work 3rd shift. I guess alot of guys figure that they don’t need to flush the urinal because they are like dogs leaving their marks on the territory.

Am I the only guy that will flush before pissing if the previous guy didn’t just because I don’t like the idea of my piss mixing with some other guys piss?

And when I was in Korea they had cool urinals you didn’t need to flush. They had some oil or something that floated on top of the urine to trap the smell in the pipes. There was no flusher. It worked REALLY well and should be implemented everywhere.

Bad idea.

I used to kick the handles on toilets/urinals for years.
Then, one fine afternoon in the “head” on board the U.S.S. Nimitz, I finished my business and dutifully flushed. The valve stuck open, leaving the urinal in a permanent flush mode.

I decided that a swift kick to the valve would un-stick it. Poor judgment on my part. The valve broke off at the pipe and I was immediately struck in the chest by a two-inch wide jet of seawater straight from Puget Sound :eek:. They use “firemain” water for toilets on ships, at 150psi (much more than typical homes), so we’re talking about a solid powerful jet of water shooting horizontal across the bathroom to the other wall.

The water began to collect. Within mere seconds, it seemed that there were two inches of water on the floor.

I quickly left the bathroom, like a coward, as one does when a toilet overflows.

Moments later, I realized that this was probably more serious than an overflowed toilet, and my conscience made me call the emergency number and announce “flooding”.

How awful. They got on the PA system, announcing “Flooding, flooding in compartment x-y-z, blah blah blah.” Shortly thereafter a gang of folks came, loaded for bear, ready to handle my unintentional flood. I did not linger at the scene of the crime.
Don’t kick urinal handles. If one must use the toe, do it gingerly, keeping in mind that there exist booby traps in this world in the guise of urinals, with weak pipe connections.

Ah, another Navy vet.

Did you have problems on board with “phantom shitters?” To the uninitiated, these are folks who get twisted kicks by crapping in inappropriate places.

I went to the head once, only to find a fresh steaming pile - in the urinal!

There are some things I really don’t miss about the Nav.

  1. There is plenty of room in that trash can. If it appears to be overflowing then some of the paper is just stuck at the top. Instead of putting more paper in and hope it stays there, stick your hand in and shove everything to the bottom!

And the guy’s version of #3: I don’t care if the seat has a slot in it, put it up if you feel you must use a stall to take a leak! Or at least wipe when you’re done instead of hoping that all the yellow puddles you leave behind will magically disappear!

I’m a very conscientious flusher, and at work we have auto-flush urinals. 95% of the time they work. Sometimes they don’t, or sometimes they’ll flush on me in mid-piss before I’ve even stepped away. If I encounter one that hasn’t flushed I can’t really blame the person who used it before me since it is an auto-flush with no manual override. I’m not sure if the sensor works by motion or by light, but there’s one black shirt I have and the auto sensor must be blind to it since it is only when I wear this specific shirt that I can’t get the auto flusher to work (other black shirts don’t give me this problem). Even when I try to trigger it by moving my hands in front of it, it won’t go, so in spite of my intentions to rid the urinal of evidence of my recent presence I end up leaving my deposit for the next guy to see.

As for the color of the urine, maybe the guys who leave a darker, orange-ish brown deposit of urine have held it longer. I have found that if I haven’t had to pee for several hours it will come out darker than if I have to pee within, say, an hour of gulping down a 32-ounce drink I brought back with me from lunch.

For manual flush systems I just press my wrist against the handle instead of my hand itself, and of course I wash my hands immediately afterwards. At work we have to pull the door from the inside to leave the restoom, so to minimize contact I will often use my pinky finger to pull on the door handle.

Uh, no thanks. While I strive to put my paper towels in appropriate receptacles, I’m not jamming my hand deep inside a public trash can to compress other people’s garbage.

I like the old fashioned urinals that have a constant trickle of water running through them instead of a flusher. I don’t see them often, however.

Well shit. Guess I need not havestarted my own thread on this very subject. :mad:

“If it’s yellow, let it mellow.”

Like a good home brew! Hah hah hah!