Fucking engineers where I work. Actually, I can’t think of a more pleasant way to spend the afternoon.
Now, I like pubic hair and all, but only when it’s attached to a guy I’m having sex with.
So I’m in the washroom, then go to wash my hands, and there it is. Black, slightly curly, and about three fucking inches long. Hardly unnoticeable. In fact, I think I heard it whisper, “Look at ME! Look at ME! LOOK AT ME!” in a sinister tone.
When you went to wash your hands, oh-so-tired from hours of coding, did you not notice that one of your stray pubes found its way onto the edge of the fucking sink? Black pube against white porcelain* is pretty glaring, wouldn’t you think? Would it be too much to fucking ask you to brush it onto the floor? Or do you want the rest of us to admire the freakish length of your pubic hair? You fucking pig. I’d hate to see what your bathtub looks like - probably a shag carpet, since given the fact that you’re a pig, I doubt you ever clean it. And I’m sure your carpet by now turned from its original color to a shade of black. You are the festering pustule on the shit-caked hairy ass of an orangutan fresh from a huge dump in the jungle.
With much vitriol,
scott evil*
Jesus Christ, I have never seen more stray pubes than in the washrooms at this workplace. Stray pubes in urinals are unavoidable, and of course, no one should be expected to remove them except the janitor. But there’s pubes everywhere here.
The day I find one on my Coke can, I’m filing a complaint at human resources.
s.e.
Sound like the name of a work of “post-post-post-modern art.” Heh.
Anybody at work have a black beard? Or an afro? My uncle Timmy had a big curly black hairdo, and once he started balding, little black pube looking things were everywhere. Perhaps it would ease your mind to try to convice yourself they’re wayward pieces of facial hair.
heh… this OP reminds me of the time i worked at pizza hut (bear with me, this is going somewhere, i promise). i have a little tuft of hair on my neck, right where the neck of my shirt begins. apparently a hair or 2 fell into the pizza i was cutting. well, this hair happened to be a couple inches long and slightly curly so, you guessed it, we got a very upset customer who thought there was pubic hair in their pizza.
anyway, my point is, cheer up! maybe it wasn’t a pube after all.
That’s not too bad. When I lived in the dorms, some freak on my floor would leave a literal pile of pubes on top of the urinal (15 or so). I don’t know if he was plucking them or if they were just falling out, but it occured for most of a semester. Nothing like taking a leak and seeing a fresh pile of pubes below the flush handle.
OK, maybe you can explain why, when you purchase a new Monopoly set, there in the middle of the folded board, there is always a trapped pubic hair Hmmm?
For some reason, I love this line. I’ve been giggling like a crazed fool for about five minutes now just thinking about the enunciation (granted, I’ve never head scott evil’s voice, but I’m imagining the kid from Austin Powers) of the above sentence.
