You people disgust me.

We’ve got 3 banks, 2 investment firms, a record company and a milk distributor in our spaceship-looking building. You’re supposed to be smart, professional adults and yet you crap on the toilet seats and spit up huge slimy gobs of mucous into the water fountain.
If it is ever found out who is doing these gross things, they should be made to bathe in the nasty human excretions you feel you must share with the rest of us.

It is probably those hippies from the record company…

It is probably those lactose intolerant people from the milk distribution company…

When I worked for a huge technology company in my area there used to be a person who continually used the can and didn’t flush. Instead of pulling the fucking handle and watching his prized package float away, he’d just pile miles and MILES of toilet paper on top of the mound. It was fucking disgusting.

These people were intelligent, they were mostly engineers and marketing types and to this day I don’t understand why they couldn’t flush. I believe it was a cultural thing, as there were many Indian/Pakistani and Middle Eastern employees in my area. Still disgusting no matter the excuse.


It’s probably the overly-stressed wage slaves at the investment firm…

Nah, it’s definitely the mutual fund managers in the investment firms.

It’s probably SkipMagic. :eek:

A real-estate company entirely staffed by Giggly Girls just moved onto our floor, and there is going to be a West Side Story-type rumble if their ladies’ room habits do not improve damn quickly.

Eve, that gives a whole, new meaning to Something’s Coming.

But maybe in Eve’s case it’ll be like those GAP Khaki ads from a few years ago.

Biggirl, you work on the island, right? I’ll come and rough up these vagrants for ya. If I remember correctly what town you work in, I can be there in half an hour. :wink:

Crap on the toilet seats???


Women hover.

We had someone in the chemistry dept that would pee in the area of the urinal, and sometimes it would be only a little piss on the floor, but one time, it was a puddle so big, I wondered if any went in the urinal at all. After speaking with the cleaning guy, I found out that the bathroom was mopped twice daily, and still almost always had piss on the floor. In the other bathroom, someone was fond of stuffing a double fist-sized wad of paper towels in the toilet, plugging them up. This was in a company that employed PhD level chemists and biologists. The cleaning guy suspected the chinese chemists, as he had seen them washing their feet in the bathroom, and brushing their teeth at the coffee station sink. I’ve found that the chinese tend to have different ideas about hygene than westerners, but I’m not all that sure about the pissing on the floor bit. It’s just too strange.

Not this woman.

Girl, girl, crazy girl
Stay loose, girl!

I am the Discreetly Disguised Defecator. I poop because I can. I poop because I care.

It’s like my calling card. Only browner.

When you’re a jet, you’re a jet all the way,
from your first cigarette to your last dying day

So, which one is Anybody’s?

This doesn’t explain why the men’s bathroom in the first dorm in which I lived never failed to have crap on the toilet seat. I think they aimed for it.

Mercury tells me that she went into the women’s bathroom and there was crap all over the walls. Quite an accomplishment.

I’m filled with Penn State Pride.

All right!. Let us know when it’s going down, Eve, so your “crew” can back you up. And someone take their camcorder, willya, as I’m a bit far away to come by. Unless, like, y’all give me plenty of notice. :wink:

Will you be gran-jeteing down the halls to confront them, or just walk bent over in a crouch, snapping your fingers?

(Either one, I will pay money to watch from afar.)