A message to all atheists, unbelievers, and lukewarm christians

[Nametag]

@akennett

I will accept that you are serious. In light of that seriousness, can you please explain why Jesus lied about when he would return? (Matt 16:28, Mark 9:1, Luke 9:27)

I mean, come on, you don’t seriously believe that there are 2000 year old Jews wandering the Earth, do you?

Of course there are!

[Lanzy]

Coming back? Can’t. Was never here.

[Battle_Pope]

@jesusguy

Jesus is coming back someday and he’ll back like a thief in the night. (1 Thessalonians 5:2)

[Sergeant Frank Drebin, Detective Lieutenant Police Squad]I knew it![/SFD,DLPS]

[DrFidelius]

@jesusguy

Jesus is coming back someday and he’ll back like a thief in the night. (1 Thessalonians 5:2) We need to examine our lives and get serious. For those who haven’t you need to accept jesus as your savior and repent for your sins to get to heaven - no other belief, religion, or way will get you there.

For those who accepted jesus but aren’t living righteously, you need to repent for your sins daily and ask God for the strength and wisdom to live righteously.

-God bless, take it easy.

I can live with eternal damnation or non-existence) as long as I don’t need to violate my personal morals or integrity.

[Qin_Shi_Huangdi]

@Leaffan

Jesus is not coming back. In fact I’m doubtful he was even here in the first place.

Saying Jesus did not exist is as a ridiculous as young earth creationism.

[running_coach]

We have an imposter. Here’s the real Jesus Guy.

[MEBuckner]

@akennett

I mean, come on, you don’t seriously believe that there are 2000 year old Jews wandering the Earth, do you?

Well, of course there aren’t 2,000-year-old Jews wandering the Earth.
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!

[running_coach]

@Qin_Shi_Huangdi

Saying Jesus did not exist is as a ridiculous as young earth creationism.

So if He’s real, what’s His Social Security number?

[Czarcasm]

@jesusguy

Yes, I’m dead serious about everything I wrote in that entire post.

What an amazing coincidence-Jesus was serious, and he’s dead too!

[Battle_Pope]

@MEBuckner

Well, of course there aren’t 2,000-year-old Jews wandering the Earth.
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!

So, Jesus’ return will be like a really bad sequel?

[IvoryTowerDenizen]

@jesusguy

Jesus is coming back someday and he’ll back like a thief in the night. (1 Thessalonians 5:2) We need to examine our lives and get serious. For those who haven’t you need to accept jesus as your savior and repent for your sins to get to heaven - no other belief, religion, or way will get you there.

For those who accepted jesus but aren’t living righteously, you need to repent for your sins daily and ask God for the strength and wisdom to live righteously.

-God bless, take it easy.

What if your not an atheist, unbeliever or lukewarm Christian but believe something different?

We cool?

[Czarcasm]

@jesusguy

Jesus is coming back someday and he’ll back like a thief in the night. (1 Thessalonians 5:2) We need to examine our lives and get serious. For those who haven’t you need to accept jesus as your savior and repent for your sins to get to heaven - no other belief, religion, or way will get you there.

For those who accepted jesus but aren’t living righteously, you need to repent for your sins daily and ask God for the strength and wisdom to live righteously.

-God bless, take it easy.

Jesus was supposed to come back while his disciples were still alive…screwed the pooch on that one.
Got any other gods I can take a look at?

[eschereal]

You did not hear? Jesus did come back already. Some while back, he was in West Bend Iowa leading a bunch of followers over to the Grotto of the Redemption, presumably for a hearty prayer session. A twenty-two year old farm hand in his F-350 came up 148th a bit too fast, turned hard onto 2nd street, and was unable to stop in time. The paramedics arrived, but the holy incarnation redux was badly mangled and had lost too much precious blood. And so it was, Jesus died on the cross-walk.

Word is, the updated stigmata is in the form of a 3" oval surrounded by a sort of grillwork pattern (it was a pretty old truck).

[Broomstick]

I resent that the OP was addressed only to all atheists, unbelievers, and lukewarm Christians. What about aliens, pagans, zombies, and all the other categories out there?

[The_Other_Waldo_Pepper]

@jesusguy

A message to all atheists, unbelievers, and lukewarm christians

Speaking as a Jew, it seems I’m exempt.

[simster]

It occurs to me that if ‘jesusguy’ was serious - he would have picked less of an obnoxious handle - ‘jesusguy’ simply opens the floodgates for not taking his message seriously - and since the bible specifically says that “many will come in my name saying the time is near… do not follow them” - he pretty much pissed himself right there.

[IvoryTowerDenizen]

@The_Other_Waldo_Pepper

Speaking as a Jew, it seems I’m exempt.

As an atheist Jew… I’m confused. Am I exempt or hosed?

[Czarcasm]

@IvoryTowerDenizen

As an atheist Jew… I’m confused. Am I exempt or hosed?

That depends-are you a Reformed atheist Jew or an Orthodox atheist Jew?

[Stranger_On_A_Train]

“Ladies and gentlemen, we’re privileged to have with us the man known all over the world as the Prince of Peace, Jesus Christ.”

Stranger

[rsat3acr]

@simster

I’ll be more impressed if he comes back - I’ll give him three days.

Heck, I’ll give you even odds he won’t even coment on any of these posts.

And to the OP what about Jesus saying to the masses(I’m not goning to look up the chapter and verse so I’ll paraphrase) “There are those of you here today that won’t taste death before God establishes his kingdom on Earth.” Guess he was a bit wrong there. I believe Jesus existed but was just a mortal Apocalyptic Jew. When God didn’t show up the Apostles had to come up with a new story so they invented the resurection. Since both the Romans and Joesphous (sp?) each mention the historical Jesus I find it rather strange thst they wouldn’t mention something so big as a resurrection.