What is the perfect question to ask here that will so intrigue Cecil as to make him answer it in his column, thereby ensuring unending fame and general coolness?
Ask what the third word that ends with “gry” is.
Friedo is toying with you, of course,boofy bloke. The best guidance I can give you is Prowl The Archives. Read a lot of Cecil’s past columns, and you’ll get a feel for the stuff he writes about. There are a few trends, but no sure things. Heck, he might even take a stab at, “How’d these frogs get into the dunny?”
I’ve never metaquestioner I didn’t like.
Definitely **not ** a question about 1920s-style death rays.
He has published a list of questions he will not answer, such as “why are boxing rings square?” and “why are they called apartments if they are all bunched up together?” Also, “why do we park on the driveway and drive on the parkway?” These questions are the brain-dead half-for-two-seconds quips one would expect from a morning disc jockey, and Cecil will not touch them. They are merely bad puns or sophomoric etymology and they don’t deserve his attention.
Cecil will also not dish celebrity dirt such as “are so-and-so’s breasts real?” and “what dress is what’s-her-face wearing to the Grammy Awards?” and “what’s the latest with Ben and J Lo?” Cecil prefers to answer celebrity questions about people like Catherine the Great, Napoleon, Sam Cooke, John Paul Jones, Thomas Jefferson: a) people who aren’t trendy flash-in-the-pan artists of today, and b) dead enough that they don’t sue.
Also, avoid questions of purely local interest such as, “They’re tearing down the gas station next to my house. What are they putting up?” or “Should X dam be torn down to make room for more fish?” or “What’s this squashed bug (enclosed)?” Also avoid subjects of local politics, local geography, or purely local landmarks (like the statue in front of City Hall). Cecil has readers to entertain and he doesn’t consider questions about the sewage system of Buttscratch, Oregon to be of sufficiently wide demographical appeal (though he might consider a question about a more national landmark such as, say, the St Louis Arch or the Statue of Liberty).
Lastly, write him a paper letter and write out your letter by hand and thoughtfully, carefully, considerately enclose a double sawbuck or two. Can’t hurt. 
FISH