“Next year, I hope to be a wide receiver!”
And that answers a very old question! I remember a kid from my elementary school making a lot of people laugh by doing this routine. I knew it wasn’t his, but I never knew who actually created it.
“Because a mind is a terrible thing. It must be stopped at all costs.”
This is one of those instances of a white guy playing a dumb black guy that was just too hilarious to be offensive. There are posters out there who claim it can’t be done. It can be done.
Good times. Thanks for reminding me.
“i do not go out on the field without my helmet (taps shoulderpads) and my shoulder-me-pads (taps helmet), do not go out on the field without these things on, because you could get seriously killed, i myself when i was a little children, i was playing football with my freinds, and my head was accientally ripped from my body, and my head were layin’ in the mud, and my body was running around tackling like this (mimes tackling), somehow somebody put my head back on my body, and the doctors said that i had dain bramage”
“nobody ever know what a umicef is, i do, i seen 'em, they, they look like a umicorn, but they aint no umicorn, they’s a umicef, a man with a wayne johnson sticking out the top of their head, please give to umicef, they need your money desperatly…to buy hats, or you could give to the United Negro college Fund, i give to the United Negro College Fund because the mind is a terrible thing…and it must be stopped, in our lifetime…before i kill somebody, i’ve been playing football all my life, and if i did not play football, i would not be playing football today…this has been an announcement from the MFL…no, the NFL, the National Football League, thank you very much…”
Oh, wow, these lines you all brought up are killing me! (ROFLMAO)
How on earth could I have forgotten them??
I MUST buy that video that BoringDad was so kind as to Google up!
Bob Saget
Let’s go to the quarry and throw stuff down there! Someone registered just to post the wrong answer to a thread that had already been answered almost 12 years ago! That’s hilarious!
That’s ok. I think Bob Nelson is still doing the same exact act so time doesn’t matter.
From vague memories:
“One of the most important pieces of equipment is the cup. It ain’t no coffee cup, it ain’t no teacup and you sure as hell don’t wanna be drinkin’ nothing out of it. Watch … punches self repeatedly in groin … (in strained voice) So … I don’t have my cup on, and I can’t see shit right now … “
Teenaged me thought that was some of the funniest shit he’d ever seen.
It’s hilarious because the question was answered many times, and the new guy still got the answer wrong.
I dunno if he’s still doing the same act, but thanks to the wonders of modern technology, we can still watch the original from Rodney Dangerfield’s Young Comedian’s Special. (5:05 for the NAACP slogan bit).
I can’t watch the video. Is that the comedian with two balloons?
“My dream girl.” puts the balloons under his jersey
“My dream girl lying on her back.” puts the balloons under his armpits
Regards,
Shodan
Yes, that’s him.
But he got it wrong with confidence.
I listen to a lot of comedy podcasts. Most comics follow the code of not shitting on another comic’s act in public. They rip each other to shreds for laughs but most won’t genuinely critique another’s act. One topic I’ve heard discussion is road comics who make a good living playing in clubs using the same act they have been doing for 30 years. It was heavily implied that Bob Nelson was one of those comics.
Yes that’s the one.