A mis-shapen chaos of well-seeming forms

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Alas, that love, whose view is muffled still,
Should, without eyes, see pathways to his will!
Where shall we dine? O me! What fray was here?
Yet tell me not, for I have heard it all.
Here’s much to do with hate, but more with love.
Why, then, O brawling love! O loving hate!
O any thing, of nothing first create!
O heavy lightness! serious vanity!
Mis-shapen chaos of well-seeming forms!
Feather of lead, bright smoke, cold fire,
sick health!
Still-waking sleep, that is not what it is!
This love feel I, that feel no love in this.

Romeo and Juliet, act 1 scene i

Alas, Romeo had it right.

Rough times in the dragon’s land. I was talking to a girl that I like on IM. She seems like a perfect match for me, wonderful, nice, pretty, and she shares the same views. I asked her out on IM. But 2 minutes before that, another guy did the exact same thing. Dammit. So now I am feeling really bad, sad and maudlin. I found the one person who I would like to spend the rest of my life with, and she is perfectly happy with another guy. Double damn. It seems that I will forever be relegated to being a girl’s gay guy friend. But I am straight. And in need of someone.

Right now I am losing hope. I think I’ll always be single. I hate it. I have a big heart, and when I can’t give my love to someone, it builds up and becomes a bitter poison. I was doing so well until now. But as the fates have it, Lachesis decided that I wouldn’t be happy. No one is like her. I love her. She isn’t like the others. She cares. But I am cursed with never feeling happiness. Even a poor tailor is entitled to some happiness. Or so I thought. I seem to be doomed, that whenever something might work out for me, it is utterly trashed. Why does my heart feel so bad?

I am thinking of becoming a nihilist. It would suit me well.

2

Ah, dragon. Mr. Scarlett could have written what you have, once upon a time. He had endured that last awful blind date, after years of getting dumped by GF after GF. So he gave up. Pulled himself out of the dating pool at age 32.

And then he met me. Two years later we were married. It’s been ten years since then. And it’s for keeps.

I think it’s similar to when couples who are trying to get pregnant just give up and resign themselves to being childless, or adopt. Suddenly there’s a bun in the oven.

Ms. Right may be more easily spotted if you stop looking for her.

3

But the bad thing is that even after I gave up, it still bothered me. I met her after my last giving-up. As soon as I even concentrated on her, boom! There goes happiness.

4

Illegal bump action…

5

Dougy darling, these people are right. Just give up for a while. I noticed that every guy I’ve been with I ended up with when I was “in limbo”–wandering around, single, with no interest in relationships at the time.

And hey, you know you always have me. welfy smooch