Almost a year ago (10 days short, I just checked) I received a note in response to my personal ad posted on Craig’s List.
I personal ad was loooong. I figured write it all, they might as well reject me sooner than later for some quibbling detail. (In retrospect, it was too long but I only posted it once.) She suffered through my novella and wrote back a couple paragraphs that caught my attention immediately.
First face-to-face date three weeks later (Red Robin at lunchtime followed by a long walk). Became “exclusive” in March and she met my kids formally around June.
Fast forward to Tuesday. It was her birthday (She’s almost two years younger than I). I had two gifts, one to give if she said yes, one if she said “no”.
I gave her the smaller package (she’ll get the other at Christmas now.) It’s a token, but a pretty one. My finances are still devastated by the post-divorce process so it’s not a diamond but it is pretty, flashes with her favorite colors, and caught my eye as “just the thing”.
She’s really very wonderful and makes me happy. We have the ability to sit quietly together, doing nothing, and doesn’t require me to entertain her in order to have a nice evening. We have fun, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not going out to a club or dancing the night away. Cards with friends, dinner out, a movie, game-night playing “Scene-it” or Scrabble. Quieter times but hand-in-hand while doing it. Last night I cooked her a nice steak dinner (bought New-York strips to celebrate the engagement) and we watched a DVD while snuggling on my bed.
We both come with our baggage, mine centers around a slightly caustic (but slowly improving) relationship with my ex and three children much younger than most 42-year old men have. Hers is damage left behind by an suicidal (inept but successful) ex-husband and a 15-year old daughter who’s early involvement with drugs and sex makes me very nervous.
A long engagement, steady thoughtful steps, shared faith, and time will be our friends.
The wedding is at some nebulous future date - right now she’s thinking 1Q09 and I’m thinking Fall '08. For now, it’s a traditional relationship, she’s living at her home, me at mine. Maybe there will be the “rent with an option to buy” cohabitation come mid-summer but there’s still child custody issues to work out on my side that will throttle decisions like that.
I’m kind-of twitterpated today. She wrote me a first-thing-in-the-morning email with the subject of “Morning, Fiance” and that feels good.
Wow. Here I go again…
