A morbid question: What happens to SDMB if Cecil dies?

[gotpasswords]

@sangfroid

Running ‘Cecil Adams’ through an anagram generator yields ~

Ed Acclaims

More fuel for the Cecil = Ed Zotti theory.

[Chefguy]

@Diceman

Abandoned? Say it ain’t so! I hope those bastards didn’t abandon him in some frozen wasteland, like Alaska or Siberia. Maybe we could all chip in a few bucks for a plane ticket to get him back to civilization.

Now wait just a gol-danged minute! We may be a frozen wasteland and uncivilized, but nobody is going to violate our litter laws!

[Cecil_Adams]

@lieu

When my cat died I wrapped him in newspaper. Somehow that seems fitting for Unca Cecil as well.

Works for me. Just make sure it’s a Reader, or, failing that, an alternative newsweekly with a paid-up subscription to the Straight Dope.

[Berkut]

Do you care if I’ve clipped the coupons out first?

[Tripler]

@kunilou

Much like Doctor Who, Green Arrow, Robin and other majestic figures, if Cecil were to die (or become stupid) The Powers That Be would annoint a new Cecil, invest him or her with the knowledge of the universe, and life would continue.

So you’re saying Cecil is. . . The Pope?

Wow. This is a bigger conspiracy than I thought. Personally, I for one welcome our new divinely-ascended, Jack-Chick-hated, supreme all-knowing overlord.

Tripler
But if we all have to die like Jamestown, may it be by the muzzle of a 1920s-style Death Ray.

[Shirley_Ujest]

Now we’ve settled on the burial manner, but the question remains for the remains: What section? Sports? Classifieds? Entertainment?

[jester21]

@Shirley Ujest

Does anyone know when The Great One’s birthday is, anyways?

January 26th, 1961

http://www.upperdeck.com/athletes/waynegretzky/statistics.aspx

[jester21]

[QUOTE=jester21]
January 26th, 1961

cite

[jester21]

@Shirley Ujest

Does anyone know when The Great One’s birthday is, anyways?

January 26th, 1961

Cite

[Polycarp]

@jester21

January 26th, 1961

Cite

No, February 26, 1916

[Rufus_Xavier]

@Cecil Adams

Works for me. Just make sure it’s a Reader, or, failing that, an alternative newsweekly with a paid-up subscription to the Straight Dope.

Of course, that makes sense. But simply wrapping you in newspaper wouldn’t be sufficiently dignified. I think mummifying you with strips of newspaper that are first dipped in liquid starch would be much more befitting. Then, of course, we must erect a pyramid of old Reader issues for your entombment. After all, if there is a Pharaoh of the SDMB, you are certainly he.

[Scruloose]

:eek:

Er, uh… hey Cecil, didn’t see you there. Uh, I was just kidding about that human costume thing…

You’re not gonna have me killed are you?

[Civil_Guy]

@Eve

But before we do, we have to refute the urban legend that it was Kool-Aid we put the poison in.

Wait a second. Kool-Aid™? Heh. Make it a decent wine, or nothing doing.

Say, what wine do you suppose goes best with mass cultist Teeming-Millions suicide?

[RayMan]

A couple of years ago, I bought one of Cecil Adams’ books. The book had a sticker on the front indicating it was signed by the author. I thought that was pretty cool, so I figured I’d check out Cecil’s signature. I flipped open the front cover, and there was the signature…

…of Ed Zotti.

No joke.

The evidence is clear in my mind.

[UncleBill]

@RayMan

The evidence is clear in my mind.

I HATE it when celebrities use Ghostwriters!

[CarnalK]

Ed Zotti uses a ghostwriter? Oh, the lies stacked on lies…

[Clothahump]

@Uvula Donor

Cecil, like any other fictional character registered as a trademark, will only “die” when the Chicago Reader has no further use of “him”.

According to that site, Cecil “died” quite some time ago.

Other Data CECIL ADAMS DOES NOT IDENTIFY ANY PARTICULAR INDIVIDUAL BUT WAS DEVISED AS A FANCIFUL NAME
Live/Dead Indicator DEAD
Abandonment Date March 29, 1989

[picunurse]

Look at tomndeb’s post in thisthread. He explains.

[astro]

@CarnalK

Ed Zotti uses a ghostwriter? Oh, the lies stacked on lies…

It’s true, Ed Zotti is retired and living in Key West. Oddly, the “ghost writer” writes in a cleaner and more grammatically precise way than Ed Zotti ever did, so periodically he’ll be given an admonition by Reader management to “Zotti it up” and make it little more ham fisted and acerbic, otherwise they fear it would be a little too bloodless.

[Polycarp]

Actually, the clue is in the final words of Ed’s afterword to one of the Cecil collections. He expresses surprise that everyone is quite willing to assume that his real name is Ed Zotti.

(Where’s the best place to hide something?)