I think you’re missing the target audience. As a married man, my wife has bought all my underpants for the last 5 years. So the picture is obviously for her.
-lv
Heheh, I had to chime in and say that I LOVE Pokemon, and I state it loud and proud! I don’t have Ruby or Sapphire yet due to not owning a GBA and it’s killing me! Ahh! I wear the shirts a lot, but I think people probably think I’m doing it to be cute and not because I actually love the games/show/cute little critters.
So yeah. Pokemaniacs unite.
I’ve never had a bad experience with buying the merchandise though, except for cashiers who say “You’d get along well with my 8-year-old”, to which I am always tempted to reply, “Actually, I HIGHLY doubt that, dearie.” 
Bingo. A privilege of the committed adult relationship, I guess. At least, the cohabiting ones anyway. But I hate buying manties.
I remember one night for shits and giggles I went down to the Ralph’s grocery store [long before the strike, although such a time period is becoming hard to remember] and bought a six pack, Monistat pack, a pack of condoms, a pregnancy test, those little iodine pain relief pills for bladder infections, cranberry pills, and some anal suppositories. The clerk was just bursting but checked me out with all the normal scripted pleasantries.
Why? At the time, I lived in midtown Sacramento, which is the best way to make a city of 300,000 people feel like a pueblo of twenty-five. I worked at Starbucks and was always being grabbed by people at the grocery store, “Hey! You’re my Starbucks girl!” so I picked a cashier who was a die-hard regular and went through her aisle…next time she looked at the gooey translucent residue of her white mocha at the bottom of her cup, I wanted her to think of me.
I thought I wouldn’t have anything to contribute. But, of course, I do. There was the time I was purchasing all of de Sade’s writings I could find at the local bookstore (because the library didn’t have them). I was buying them for my Sex (Human Sexuality) class, of course, but I figured blurting, “No, they’re for my Sex class!” would make things worse…
I’ve never been embarressed about that. I’m actually sort of proud to do it.
I tell the cashier “Uh… those aren’t for me…” with a hushed voice and a wry standoffish smile. Usually, they get the joke and we share a laugh. It’s funnier though when it’s some old lady who says, “oh…”, darts her eyes around, and hurriedly shuffles them into the bag in a kind but misguided attempt to shield me from embarressment.
When I was younger, say 20 or so, I would get over the embarrassment of purchasing condoms by stating “You know, it’s kinda funny you are handling those, considering we both know where and how they will be used.”
Worked even better when it was a hot chick working the cash. 
Lobsang, there is no shame in being a man and reading Heat. It’s the women’s magazine for men. I sometimes call my wife and say “do you want me to pick up the latest copy of Heat?” I find myself getting it anyway even if she says “no”. :embarrassed:
I have the same problem with men’s mags: I get accused of bringing porn into the house even when they’re not really. Which is why I like the new mag, Jack - it’s superbly written, has tasteful pics of birds on the front, and only one mucky section.
Not really embarrassing, but here it is:
I’m at the store buying a pregnancy test for the girlfriend. Understandably, I’m a bit anxious about the possible result (“PLEASE don’t be positive”) and not in the mood for idle chit-chat or needless inquiries. The clerk does not read this on my face.
Clerk, upon ringing up the test: “Ahhh… So, how do you hope it comes out?”
Me, after staring at her for a few seconds: “Correct.”
Clerk: “Um, oh. OK.”
On a related note, I’d agree that buying condoms the first couple times is embarrassing.
When I was first married in the 1970s I was sent to the little local supermarket to buy a pile of things including tampons. As I was waiting at the checkout I was absentmindedly throwing the box of tampons in the air and catching them. I looked up and the girl on the checkout and all the women in the queue (yes they were all women) were looking at me in horror. The checkout girl snatched the box of tampons and put them in a small paper bag before putting them in the grocery paper bag. After that I stuck to tossing and catching the bax of teabags.
Ha. Buy condoms?
Man, I can’t get away from the things. Just the other evening, I was hanging out in a bar near campus when a gaggle of girls from planned parenthood came in and started handing them out for free.
I didn’t think I had much to add, but then the condoms and pregnancy tests made me think …
In college, my roommate and I went down to the local CVS because she needed a pregnancy test. After locating the right aisle and choosing the one we wanted, we headed for the cash register. On the way up, she said “Is it okay if you pay for it?” Wanting to save her as much embarrassment as possible, I said sure, I’d pay and let the clerk think I was the one who needed it, she could wait outside for me.
Just before we made it to the register, she suddenly changed her mind. “No, no, I’ll pay, you go outside. The guy behind the counter already saw us. I’ll pay and let him think it’s yours.” Gee, she was a great friend. 
A couple weeks after that, I had to buy condoms for the first time ever. The convenience store across the street from my dorm was well accustomed to the strangeness of the music school students, and the guys that worked there were a whole lot of fun. The condoms, however, were still behind the counter, so I had to ask for them. The guy took them down off their shelf, and rung them up. I must have looked incredibly relieved, because the guy took a good look at my face and said “Oh, honey, it ain’t over yet.”
He then proceeded to wave my box of Trojans around and announce to the whole store “This girl’s got condoms! Little redhead girl! Condoms!”
There weren’t a whole lot of people in my school, and the ratio men to women was ten to one–I was pretty much the only “little redhead girl,” and both of my roommates were at the back of the store and came running up to make sure it was me … and congratulate me on the needing of the condoms. sigh
I guess it could have been worse.
My friend’s husband, the first time they went grocery shopping together, when she tossed a box of tampons into the cart:
“HEY! Don’t put those in with the FOOD!”
Not really embarassing, but all the talk of buying pregnancy tests reminded me of the last one I bought. I’ll admit I don’t really trust them. We’ve had false positives before, and I think they’re, on the whole, silly. That said, I also realize that I’m not buying them for me, I’m buying them for my lovely wife, and if seven bucks buys her peace of mind, it’s seven bucks well spent.
Off to CVS, back to the pharmacy, and ask the lady behind the counter for a hand picking one out. She tells me they’re pretty much all the same, and in fact she feels good enough about the store brand to use it herself. She hands me a couple of boxes.
“Thanks,” I say.
“You’re welcome. I hope they give you whatever results you’re hoping for.”
Very classy.
I would say that the most embarassing for me was buying (at the same time)
Monistat, Pregnancy Test, hemorrhoid cream (for DH) & herpicin (for DH’s cold sore)… got some fun looks on that one. Thank goodness for U-scan… no more embarassment at the checkout!
My most embarrasing moment was when I went shopping with a couple of friends - both single (I am married), one a handsome chap and the other a very beautiful woman - we all shopped together that day because the fellow had a car.
Anyway, I bought what I wanted at various stores, and then we went to the local supermarket, which was of the variety that has a pharmacy attached. By this time, we each had most of what we needed. I wasn’t buying anything; my female friend was buying a truly enormous turkey to baste; and my male friend had a large box of condoms.
Well, as we were standing in line, my male friend remembered he wanted some milk too - and so he handed me the condoms, and ran off.
We got to the end of the line before he got back. I put the condoms on the belt; she put the turkey. Then I realized that people were looking at us funny - an apparent couple buying nothing but a huge frozen bird and a pack of condoms.
Well, this was bad enough. But just then, some of my wife’s relatives shopping there spotted me, and struck up a conversation - while darting looks at the condoms, the turkey, and the woman who was obviously not my wife. My male friend still had not come back. I could see the gears turning in my wife’s relatives’ heads, thinking up some sordid explaination, and so I blurted out, “oh, these aren’t for me!” - just as the cashier rang up the purchase. And wouldn’t you know it, my friend didn’t have any money on her [I knew this before, and had agreed that the two of them would pay me back later for their purchases], and so I was presented with the bill?
My wife’s relatives quickly walked away, and as far as I know, never mentioned it again (my wife broke into hysterical laughter when she heard the story - from me).
And the winner is…
…
GMRyujin for purchasing a complete set of De Sade’s work. Runner up is Malthus (lol!). Most worthy of embarrasment of course is Lobsang for buying Britney Spears mags! :o)
Rinni - wow i’m not alone, let me say buy a GBA SP they rule!
I don’t know whats up with all the condom / tampon stories, buying condoms is nowhere near as embarassing as buying Pokemon! Just try it!
So I walk into the local smut shop and pick up a 3-pack of Asian girlie mags. Normally, I wouldn’t be embarassed. I swore to defend the Constitution, and that includes the 1st Amendment.
However, there was a young Asian woman working the counter. I felt incredibly awkward.
Fleets Suppositories and a bag of carrots. I think the clerk thought I was going to use the carrots to push it up there.
My most embarrassing purchase happened when I was about eight. On the way home from school my mom wanted me to pick up a box of pads for her. I was absolutely mortified and obsessed all day. Sweating and red faced I went into the store and wandered through one or two ailses, then darted over and grabbed the first box that seemed correct. Everything was a blur I was so humiliated. I was certain the whole store was staring at me, the menstruating freak, as I took the huge box of pads and scuttled out of the store. I wanted to run the rest of the way home, but didn’t want to draw any further attention to myself and the ginormous box of pads poking out of the top of the bag.
Finally I got home, thrust the hideous bag of embarrassment at mom, and ran to my room. A while later my mom came in to tell me I’d have to take the box back-- I’d bought what must have been the last existing box of pads designed to be used with belts left in the United States. Sheesh. This is what happens to girls who take Judy Blume books too seriously.
I wasn’t even remotely as embarrassed the time I went to visit my cousin at the adult toy store where he works and hung around while he explained all sorts of interesting things with customers, and eventually me.
What a fascinating thread. I’ve been buying “supplies” for my wife since we met. It mighta made me a bit red in the face the first time, but I mean, c’mon. I have to admit, I’ve become blase about it over the years. I’ve never needed to buy condoms ( infertile ) but, having seen Magnum Condoms for sale ( for men with length and girth aplenty ), I’ve always wanted to stride up to the Pharmacist who knows me on sight and say, " Hey ! What about fellows with the OPPOSITE problem?? Huh??? What about us?? " just so see what she’d do.
Buying Monostat for the wife didn’t set me on edge either. Buying 3 inch needled syringes for the infertility shots. THAT made me shudder, but I spiked her tushy daily anyway…
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