I found today that while buying personal lubrication/condoms isn’t the most embarrassing thing in the world, buying it where you work, and where everyone knows you is. The cashier didn’t say anything, but I’m sure she was snickering the whole time. And with a name like “Astroglide”, it’s not like I can claim it was contact lens solution or something.
Why not go to the grocery store down the street? Or did you need condoms and Astroglide pronto? 
Well, at least it was condoms and Astroglide.
Buying just the Astroglide, now that’s embarrassing.
You shoulda bought a cucumber. A 16 incher…
and astroglide.
Yeah…that’ll start off some inneresting rumors.
Mail order people, mail order!
I don’t know about you but when the mood strikes me, I don’t want to wait for mail order.
The idea is to plan ahead. 
I was just talking to a friend about this last night. I have never been embarassed to buy condoms, astroglide, etc. in the store. Hey, it’s the closest thing to holding a sign saying “Yep, I’m getting laid! Woohoo!”
On a related note, I also never had a problem buying feminine products for my SO’s either. Now for my mom would be another story, but for my gf/wife? No big deal.
I know nothing of this plan thingie you speak of. I do things when the mood strikes me. Hence the 3 jars of Mayo in my kitchen. I feel like mayo, I buy it. I feel like sex, I buy it.
Waitaminute!!! That did not come out right.
You didn’t buy a lot at once, did you? That would definitely get people talking. Reminds me of the time I ordered a lube sampler from a web site and my best friend came over the day it arrived so she could look at all the different kinds. She asked if I was planning a busy weekend.
Heh, it was just Astroglide. :o
We already have condoms.
So you don’t think to buy mayo at the store until you want something that calls for it? Huh, I thought that was the sort of thing you always had in your fridge and used it as you needed it. When the mood hits me, I want all the necessary provisions available at the very moment - I don’t wanna run to the store for it!
[note to self] Don’t eat at congodwarf’s… and it might be a good idea to skip his egg salad, too.[/nts]
“Smooth operator… smoooooooooth operator…” 
O.K., the decision to purchase at work wasn’t so slick, but you’re cool to share this mortifying story with us Dopers. I hope you can let your co-worker’s stares just roll off your back like water off a duck…
I seem to recall walking to the store once with my sweetums to get the exercise and to pick up condoms. While we were there, we remembered we needed ketchup, and the had one of those ‘odd lot specials’ on bedsheets …
Bull. You could use the phrase: “It’s so easy to glide my lenses onto my eyes, I can see the stars!”
Tripler
C’mon, you gotta think on your feet at times like this.
What makes lube so embarrassing? But then again… even though I’m pretty damn shy in real life, if a clerk began giggling or smirking when I buy lubrication, I’m the kind of person that will lean forward and say, quietly, even shyly, “I’m going to have sex. That’s what it’s for.” And look quite earnest when I say it. It usually embarrasses them more than it embarrasses me. If I know the clerk personally, it’s even easier.
Although… you know, I was once doing inventory at the factory I used to work for, tallying all the common things you’d think to find: nuts, bolts, washers, screws, office supplies, work uniforms, spare parts, etc. Everything seemed to make sense, even some of the odder things. Until I got to the back of the supply room and found these gigantic, 10 gallon tubs… of Vaseline. :eek:
What goes on back there?
Yes, yes, I’m sure it’s just for some of our machinery, but it gives me greater comfort to think that’s how some of the assholes got their promotions.
Assholes…promotions…I can’t breathe! Too funny!
One time I went to the store with a friend to buy two items. I needed blank video tapes. He needed condoms. THAT was embarrassing.
I buy condoms at Sam’s Club, where you can buy a box of 40 Trojans for $9.59. I usually buy two boxes at a time and nothing else just to freak out the clerk.
The cucumber is good. The ketchup and video tapes are great. There must be a whole wealth of fucking-with-cashiers’-minds combinations out there:
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Take an accomplice: you go through first with condoms and lube. Then your friend goes through with condoms and glue. Deadpan.
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Condoms, lube, and rubber bands. Lots and lots of rubber bands. Come through with many boxes awkwardly in your arms, and drop the lot on the counter.
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Condoms, lube, and catnip.
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Again with an accomplice. You: condoms, lube, cucumber. Friend: condoms, lube, pineapple.
Astroglide… some kind of mental picture keeps trying to form and it involves the Jetson’s dog.
Noooooooooo! :eek: