K, this is the last time I’m gonna hijack this thread with food comments (maybe ).
Acutally my fiancee eats at least two sandwiches a day and he loves mayo so we run out a lot. Since I eat maybe 2 sandwiches a month, I’m not an expert on our mayo levels. I’ve gone to make tuna or eggsalad and found no mayo enough times that now I buy it when I want a sandwich. Last month was just a mistake. My fiancee and I both bought Mayo on the same day :wally
[end hijack]
As for buying condoms and lube, this has never embarrassed me. BUT, if I worked in a store which sold them, I would NOT buy them there. That just goes beyone TMI where your coworkers are concerned.
I did, however, once buy a box of tampons, a box of condoms, a tube of lube, and a douche - all on the same day. I was planning ahead you know. Who did I see in the checkout line - behind me so I couldn’t flee? My future mother in law :eek: . Lucky for me, she’s a very cool lady. She just smiled and commented on the weather. This is why I don’t plan ahead any more.
Went with my very-easily-embarrased friend to the drug store to pick up his 'script. While he is at the pick-up window, I am milling about in the condom section (as I am apt to do) and, picking up a box of Trojans, I say to him in a faily loud voice
Hey Mark! Here’s those Trojan Petites you’ve been looking for!!
I don’t think he has fully recovered to this day.
So, chaoticdonkey is standing there with his lube/condoms in hand. The cashier/cow-orker goes to ring up the purchase, slides the lube/condoms over the little thingy that reads the UPCs. Purchase rings up, and cashier/cow-orker suddenly remembers the employee discount.
Pushes intercom button:
chaoticdonkey is purchasing lube/condoms, Bob. What’s the employee discount on those items?
One of my brother’s friends does special effects for movies, so he ends up with some odd combinations. I heard he got a lot strange looks the night he showed up in the checkout line with dryer tubing, kitty litter and a tub of vaseline.
I was once making my rounds at a CostCo in Arizona with a buddy of mine who needed to go too. We were walking down the aisle when I spotted a gallon jug of KY Jelly. I point it out and say to him, “Yeah, that’ll keep you busy on a Friday night. . .” He busted out laughing.
And so did the three 20-something girls behind us at the time.
Tripler
No, that little joke didn’t even get me a phone number. :mad:
I thought it was obvious. I bought the Astroglide there because I get a discount! I might have to look online in the future, though. I’m sure that I can get it cheaper on eBay than Wal-Mart.
swampbear: I’m going to kill you, lol. The whole room of family members just looked at me while I’m dying laughing, and do you know what I said? NOTHING. They look at me like I’m the biggest idiot ever, and I can’t explain to them.
We’ve done this before. My favorite suggestion was a small bag of flour, an identical medium bag of flour, and an identical large bag of flour. No room for astroglide in that, though.
Embarrassing is also when you’re shopping for your grandparents at the drugstore and you run into not just an ex, but your boss too. You just have to look them straight in the eye and act like all those jumbo economy-sized tushie-related products do *not * exist and they are *not * in your cart. Denial is my friend.
And Tentacle Monster? Ouch! That’s not a happy image.
Oh pleeeeze! You’re embarrassed just because you bought something that suggests to your coworkers that you have sex?
When I wanted the discount at the bookstore I had to ask a manager to ring up my S&M porn!
(Well they were Christmas presents!!)
First: The kill you line is another great stalker line. You really are gettin’ better at it!
Second: I’m sure you’re family already knows you’re the biggest idiot ever. They need no explanation. Oh like you thought I’d let that one get by me!
Yeah, but if I were to tell you that I’m going to kill you, then it would expose the fact that I’m stalking you, because even with a sniper rifle or something I’d still have to be closer to you than I am now. And stalkers can’t let themselves be discovered.
betenoir, That would be embarrassing. Thankfully I don’t ever plan on enduring that.
“OW! Rorge, you’re rurting me!”
One of my buddies was getting married, so I was dispatched to the local pharmacy to by a lot of multi-colored condoms to inflate and hang on his car’s antenna when they took off for their honeymoon.
So I take the several boxes up to the counter, and the damned clerk starts a whole wink-wink-nudge-nudge shtick with me! “Good weekend coming up sir? Bet it is, bet it is! Not afraid of running a little low, are you, now? Best not to take chances!” Half of me wanted to join in with him, but I think I told him to mind his own damn business.
Heh. Cousin’s wedding, off to get decorations for the car. Three guys in tuxedos, purchasing lube, condoms, white shoe polish, and women’s underwear. A few odd looks there, I can tell you.
A good friend of mine raises show Salukis (dogs, in case you’re wonderin’). She lives in Lincoln, Nebraska, in an area where skunks are regular visitors to her outside kennels. She has learned that douche products are terrific for getting skunk “eau de Pepe” out of her dogs’ coats. Unfortunately it takes LOTS AND LOTS of douche. Imagine coming to the Walmart checkout with the entire inventory of Summer’s Eve.
).