I gotta new car, I gotta new car, I gotta new car, SPOOFE is a happy lil’ turdburglar, he is…
Well, okay, not really new new, but new enough for me.
A week ago, my dad randomly took me down to a dealer a few miles from our house… now, he’d taken me out looking at cars a couple times before. There was a car, there, that I had noted a few times. Well, this time, we didn’t just look at it… I climbed in, we test-drove it, I enjoyed its numerous coolnesses… and, finally, my dad wrote a check for that sucker. And now, NOW, ladies and gentlemen, SPOOFE is the owner of a 2000 Pontiac Grand Am GT, and he couldn’t be happier.
This sucker drives smooth as an orgasm. She accelerates wonderfully, she handles excellently, my oh my does her sound system kick ass. Plenty of room inside, comfortable seats (both front and back… wink wink, nudge nudge…). I’m far more comfortable driving this sucker around than I was in my parent’s Expedition.
For the first week of my ownership, I kept trying to think of a name. I considered “Cecil the First” in honor of our Perfect Master, but thought… “Nah, Cecil should be a fully-restored Deusenberg or something…” Then I considered some names such as “Serendipity” (Sara for short), “Darwin” (I like how that name sounds), “Orson” (in honor of Orson Welles), and on and on… but, finally, I named her Giselle (Jeh-zell) after a song by Stew and The Negro Problem.
And thus, Giselle the SPOOFEmobile was unleashed upon the unwary denizens of the world… and things shall never be the same… bwahahahahaha!!!
