A New Martial Arts Studio has opened in town, Hmmmph

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I took number one daughter out for ice cream and I see there is a new martial arts studio just opening. “Dragon-Do martial arts for fun, fitness, and self-confidence,” the sign reads.

“Come daughter,” I say. “Let us investigate this establishment.”

“Yes, Papa,” she replies dutifully.

The place is clean and well lit. Ranks of young students practice the Kata, as we wait patiently at the reception desk for a smiling young man in a ghi to finish with a prospective customer.

I begin to get irritated at the wait and tap the flail with which I’ve replaced my right arm against my hip (did I ever mention my arm was chewed off by a tiger in Sumatra and I had it replaced with a flail?)

“I’ll be right with you, Sir.”

I don’t see why he is wasting his time with the woman and her fat child. Clearly he lacks the warrior spirit and is not worthy of instruction.

Finally, the woman and her rotten child depart and I am spared the interminable wait.

“How may I help you, Sir.”

“I see you have erected a new Dojo. I have come to see whether you are worthy of instructing my daughter. You are the proprietor of this establishment?”

“No, Sir. That would be Sensei Jackanni. I am his assistant Dan.”

“Well, Dan, perhaps a demonstration of your skills would be in order.”

“Sir, I’m sure Sensei Jackanni would be happy to… UUUURRRRP!”

I slam him through the wall with a reverse spinning back-kick, and then use my flail to crush the reception desk in two"

“Father, why must you always cause such a scene” asks Number One Daughter.

“Silence little one. Yon students await instruction,” the class is staring aghast.

“Yes, father. I will use Tiger Crane style.”

“Very good.”

She leaps into the middle of the class and begins to systematically humiliate the Dragon-Do students, leaving them beaten wrecks on the floor. A Junior instructor tries to intervene, but soon he is… flailing against the wall (if you’ll pardon the pun)

Afterwards we trash the place a bit and have more ice cream.
I wonder what the look will be on the Sensei’s face when he returns.

It’s been a long time since they’ve tried to open a new Dojo in my town. I’ve missed it.

2

I guess now fear DOES exist in that dojo, doesn’t it?

3

That’s what I call the Real Ultimate Power. You guys really don’t give a crap now do you?

4

Heh, heh. Good one, Scylla.
Reminds me of the time we had a visitor who was going to show us how it was supposed to be done. He claimed he was a fordy-lebbenth degree black belt in the Way of the Petrified Alligator or something.

I bowed to him and invited him to come join the Black Belt class that was in progress. I should have charged my students admission to watch this guy. One of the better comedy acts I’ve seen. We were working with sticks that night and practicing unarmed defense against them. I paired up with him. He started out by mocking the padded sticks we used and that when he trained, he used real sticks. I accomodated him by digging out my old wooden stick.

He then said something to the effect of “Let me show you a better way. Here, hit me and I’ll disarm you.” So I did. Hilarity ensued because he attempted to block the strike by…wait for it…catching the stick in his bare hands! I didn’t break his fingers because I was nice and pulled the strike at the last instant, but I still got him with a good, solid whack across the palms with a 28 inch long bamboo stick.

He left with tears running down his face and a big, red line across both palms. As he walked out, I thanked him for teaching us and invited him to come back any day. When I went back out on the floor, we had a good laugh and the whole thing evolved into a discussion of basic life skills, such as courtesy, respect and self-control.

Teaching martial arts is fun, but some nights are funner than others! :stuck_out_tongue:

5

Ah, it’s good to see that the dojo wars have started up again.

6

Mildly NSFW, but only due to language. www.bullshido.com

Worth investigating. Literally, fighting ignorance in the martial arts.

But not the marital arts.

7

You’ll be sorry when the Cobra Kai Dojo comes to your town!

8

Watch out for Rex Kwan Do practitioners. They’ll kick your ass.

9

All your dojo are belong to us! :smiley:

Check this out. Scroll down to Grandma’s Happy Fist. It’s a big file, so it’s best to save it to your local hard drive and run it from there.

10

Scylla. . .you’re the best around, and nothing’s ever gonna bring you down.

11

Grasshopper (me) : Master, how is it that you can do these things?
Scylla : Ah Grasshopper. How is it that you cannot?

12

Nice reference! Did you see the recent South Park where DVDA covered that song?

13

Out of curiosity: “Dragon-Do.” Isn’t that what Bilbo stepped in, leaving Smaug’s lair?

sorry, sensei!

14

You fed your kid ice cream twice in one day? I have a feeling your wife is gonna kick your butt when you two get home!

15

Got my do-jo workin’. mmm…
)( bun’s are a’shakin’! :smiley: