Barrette manufacturers. Yeah, we know Aaaaall about the little homing microchips you place inside each barrette. Yeah, the ones that guarantee that after 1 or 2 wearings the barrette disappears only to be magnetically drawn back to your factories, to be sold to us again and again.
We might have to keep buying the damned things, but we KNooOW what you’re up to.
It was wrong of him/her to keep changing speeds.
Howver, This…
Is incorrect. If you are merging, it is YOUR job to adjust YOUR speed to highway speed. NOT the person who is already on the highway going highway speed, they are supposed to maintain their speed (or if they can, get over into the next lane over, which I try to do if I can).
Yes, it is incorrect if they are purposely adjusting their speed to prevent you from getting on. But for them to adjust their speed (whether on purpose to be a jerk, or to misguidedly “help”) screws up everyone behind them, screws up people who know how to properly merge (I HATE when I’ve got my speed and merge time all figured out to get into an opening and then the person on the highway slows down to “help” me), AND screws up those behind you in the merge lane who are attempting to correctly adjust their speeds to merge onto the highway.
You need an eraser song. That is, a song which is not catchy but which has the ability to break the “song stuck in your head cycle” without it getting ITSELF stuck in your head. I find that “Tiptoe Through the Tulips” works pretty well, I don’t remember where I first read about this, but it had a half a dozen “eraser” songs listed and “Tiptoe” was the one I remembered.
It usually works for me.
I thought it was hayfever. The sneezing and itchy eyes/ears made it seem so.
Dr disagrees. Says it’s a viral infection in my ears/throat. Since I’ve seen Dr, ears and throat are starting to ache.
Stupid brain.
My hair dryer’s power cord is possessed by demons.
Every time I use this device the cord has twisted into tight braids, condensing to about half its normal length. Since I do not wrap it around itself during use, the only explanation is demon-possession. Moreover, other dryers I’ve had (including the one that shot flames out its business end while I was using it) have done the same thing.
Maybe the Coriolis effect is responsible too. But my bet is mainly on demons.
Dear Customers:
I am not Directory Assistance. I’m sorry we don’t have a particular Gizmo or Widget that you’re after. We don’t stock everything. I would, however, be happy to recommend another company’s stores which might be able to help you. It is, however, poor form to ask if I have their phone number. It is crossing the line from poor form to extraordinarily ill-mannered to get offended when I politely inform you that alas, I do not keep phone numbers for all of our competitors on hand.
Similarly, incredulity is one of many words that could be used to describe my reaction when you ask if said competitor will definitely have the item in question in stock, and then proceed to ask further technical questions about something that we do not sell.
Foreign Students: We don’t haggle over the price of things in Australia, by and large. The price on the shelf is the cost of the item, take it or leave it. Also, it’s generally considered a good idea to have at least a perfunctory grasp of English before attempting to purchase complicated or technical products such as computers, software, or home theatre systems here.
Rich People: People with Platinum AmEx cards are not entitled to discounts for the sheer hell of it. The same goes for people who drive BMW/Mercedes-Benz/Lexus/Audi/Chrysler cars.
Work Telephone: STOP FUCKING RINGING! JUST STOP IT! I HEAR YOU IN MY SLEEP, YOU FUCKING ANNOYANCE!
I feel like shit, because I’m sick. I made my wife sick. I’m way behind on my new movie because I’ve been working so much, and yet, I’m broke. And i just got an email stating the very cool party I was supposed to go to tomorrow night was canceled due to “scheduling conflicts.”
A little more ranty goodness for the Scientology freaks that won’t leave me alone and keep spamming my email no matter how many of their email domains I block.
Over twenty-some years ago I made the mistake of buying Some L Ron sci fi books directly from Bridge Publishing. This was before I knew anything about Scientology or L Ron’s complete whackjobbiness. I was just a young, naive voracious sci fi reader and was reading whatever I could get my hands on. Since then I have moved twice, once leaving no forwarding address and they still found my new address to keep sending me their mail spam. At some point they got my email address, too. I have since read up on them and recognized the email domains and put them all on the blocked list but it seems like every week there’s a new one.
Leave me the fuck alone! I ain’t going to buy into your Xenu The Magic Space Alien crap ever! I don’t have enough money for it to even be worth you trying to bilk me so stop sending me your damned spam!
I was watching Fox News, something I hardly ever do. Now I understand its reputation. See, they were discussing Rosie O’Donnell, her leaving The View, and whether it was due to her comments at the Matrix Awards. This is an award ceremony for women in the media who’ve demonstrated “remarkable achievements and outstanding leadership roles in their fields.” Evidently she was the host, and in addition to saying “fuck” a few times, reacted to Donald Trump calling her fat by sarcastically saying “I’ve been dieting for a few months . . . It’s always been my dream to give a bald millionaire a boner,” and yelling, “Eat me!” (Quotes approximate due to memory and live closed captioning glitches.)
So anyway, now that I’ve learned what the Matrix Awards are, I’ll say, yes, that was definitely not a venue for such humor. It seemed to be a professional, ceremonial occasion, and didn’t call for personal axe-grinding or profanity. (Though aside from context, and aside from her other idiocy, I liked the comeback - too often I sense a cultural demand that every woman has a responsibility to be sexually attractive, and failure to do so negates all other positive qualities.)
However, that is not at all what Fox focused on. Instead they had a commentator go on and on about how horrible her profanity and crassness was, especially because there were high school girls present!!! (pass the smelling salts, Mildred!) I notice in all web references I’m finding, they are referred to as “sweet-faced high school girls.” Obviously, not one of them had ever heard “fuck” or knew what a boner was before this vicious deflowering!
But fine, whatever. The really monumentally idiotic thing was that they went on and on comparing what she said to Imus’s “nappy-headed ho’s” comment. Yes, Fox News, Rosie using coarse language against an insulting rich guy in a somewhat inappropriate venue is exactly as offensive and worthy of shunning as Imus slinging a racist and sexist slur at some innocent female athletes. Won’t someone think of the children and get her off the air?! :rolleyes:
Thanks, it feels good to get that out.
I was accelerating as quickly as my little car would go, and they were still changing their speed to keep me from merging.
As far as it goes, there are plenty of times when I’ve had to slow down because some person didn’t merge and they’re at the end of the merge lane and coming in because there’s no space left. Those are the occasions where I’ve had to slow down. I generally try to merge as soon as safely possible because I do not want to inconvenience others.
However, people drive like jerks around here, so there’s a lot of occasions where driving like a normal person will get you in an accident faster than accommodating their stupidity.
Which is what I said, they were incorrect to have done that to you, not to mention jerks and dangerous to boot.
Sorry, I didn’t meant you as in YOUyou, but you as in the collective you. And yes, sometimes it’s necessary, and considerate to do as you mention above. But generally speaking (though I’m not a traffic engineer or traffic laws expert), it’s the mergers job to…um…merge!
I should also have added the qualifier that mergers who won’t merge is one of my HUGE pet peeves. I wasn’t meaning to rail at you, but was just reminded of it by your post.
Hehe…I know what you mean, the only place I’ve ever seen that has worse drivers than Anchorage, would be New Orleans (and that was after the flood with fewer residents on the highways!)
I’ve shared this before, but what was super weird about it was that on the highways and in the city, these people were ultra hyper idiots. But in the damaged areas, where we contractors (NOT FEMA!!! I was contracted to the EPA to clean up the hazmat left behind), were “ooooh so annoyingly and slowly inching our way through the debris strewn streets” the locals were as patient with us as kindly old grandmas and grandpas.
Strange…but not a rant, just strange. end of hijack.
Oh, I totally understand and sympathize with you on all points. People are dumb and often don’t follow rules. End of hijack on my part too.
I think I’ll make a belated rant at my old mortgage company. There were times I’d send my payment at least a week or more before the late date deadline. They would not process this check for almost two weeks and would then charge me a late fee. I didn’t think it was taking that long to receive my check that they were actually receiving after the deadline date. It wasn’t like it was going overseas, it went to Colorado.
I got switched to a new mortgage company. Same deadlines and fees. This month I forgot to mail my check and mailed it late. It went in the mail on the 23rd and it was cashed on the 26th. The check goes to Oklahoma so it’s not that much closer than Colorado, yet they received and processed it in 3 days. I thought they processed a lot quicker than Aurora but this proved it to me because I remembered the date I mailed the check.
So a big fuck you to Aurora who I am pretty sure just liked to fuck around and hang onto checks so they could charge you late fees.
I have other fuck yous for them but those are well in the past. This was one fresh in my mind because of the speed of the new mortgage company’s check processing.
Three words, Wile E…online bill pay. I still have 37 cent stamps I haven’t used up, and I’ve heard they’re going up to 41 cents soon. It’s so rare now I use a stamp.
That’s the worst kind - the damned scam spam!
Butterball Chicken Breast:
You suck. You are crap. Ingredients should not read “Chicken breast, chicken broth, salt, salt, more salt, fake flavor, fake color.”
It should read, “Death, salt, ass, fake color, random mush we have lying around”
To top it off, you don’t even peel right! You are pre-sliced. You are even stacked so I may easily grab one. Yet, when I go to peel, you break apart in my fingers, leaving one giant clump in the middle. You are made of crap smooshed together and I hate you for being on sale.
Ooh, thanks! Iron Chef Chen, watch out!
I tried that with the first mortgage company. Then they told me I hadn’t paid for 3 months and they were going to go ahead and foreclose on me. I had to get my lawyer to intervene and send copies of my bank statements with proof of payment and then I couldn’t use that method anymore.
I asked my new mortage company if I could use online bill pay. The answer was also “no”. Mortgage companies must be in cahoots with the post office.
Roosters, I would have loved roosters, I lived on campus at a school that seemed to have more geese then students. So many in fact that there was a discussion about killing them off.
Before anyone says anything about killing geese, I don’t take opinions from anyone that hasn’t lived around them. They’re big and loud and sqauk from 5am to 10pm and they hiss at you when you walk by them and they chase you down the sidewalk, and the poop…it’s not like bird poop, it’s like dog poop only it’s EVERYWHERE, it was nearly impossible to get anywhere on campus without having your shoes quite literally caked in it.
God damned vomitous shitbag scum-sucking maggot-fucking spamming bastards!
I had over 40 spam posts on my message board today from spammers, most of them the same 6 porn links posted over and over again with a few refinance and cialis spams thrown in. We don’t want to see Martha Stewart getting anal action or Mel Gibson spanking so keep your cockroach-felching stupid assholes off my board.
Who can I see about lessons in pit-swearing? I think mine needs some work.