A one-act play chronicling my dog walk last night

The BBQ Pit
1

[JUSTIN BAILEY, MRS. BAILEY, and their DOG are approaching THE VACANT HOUSE]

JUSTIN BAILEY: I know it’s after midnight, but I think our dog likes taking walks in the middle of the night.

MRS. BAILEY: Yes, it’s so hot during the day that this is the only time we can do it.

VOICE (off stage): Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

MRS. BAILEY: What the hell was that?

JUSTIN BAILEY: I don’t know.

VOICE (off stage): Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

[JUSTIN BAILEY, MRS. BAILEY, and their DOG are now directly in front of THE VACANT HOUSE and the CAR parked in the driveway]

VOICE (from car): Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

JUSTIN BAILEY: Are there two people in there having…?

VOICE (emphasis): Oh my god! Oh my god! Yes! Yes! Yes!

JUSTIN BAILEY: I guess that’s a yes.

[The DOG is now concerned that someone is being hurt and is pulling JUSTIN BAILEY towards the CAR]

JUSTIN BAILEY: No!

[The DOG continues to pull]

JUSTIN BAILEY: No!

[The DOG continues to pull]

JUSTIN BAILEY: Come on!

[The DOG begins to walk down the street, away from the car]

[A HALF-NAKED WOMAN emerges from the CAR and uses a key to enter THE VACANT HOUSE]

MRS. Bailey (yelling): Classy!

END SCENE

2

Love the plot twist. Though not sure this is a pitting.

3

I loved this part:

4

Pics, or it didn’t happen.

5

Mrs. Bailey is no fun.

6

Are you pitting your dog?

7

This is the part that strikes me as being somewhat classless. You’ve already said it’s past midnight. The folk in the car certainly have no reason to think they’d be offending passersby. I think the proper etiquette in this situation is to nod politely and continue on your way.

8

Which half was naked?

9

That’s funny, because me and the wife were out doing it in the car last night…

10

When a couple of nosy gits and their dog just couldn’t take a hint and get lost? :slight_smile:

11

I don’t know what this world’s coming to when a married couple, in the privacy of their own car parked in the privacy of their own driveway can’t… um, relive their high school days…

:: slowly walking away, shaking my head and uttering “tsk, tsk tsk” ::

:wink:

12

Wait, so is it a VACANT HOUSE or not? Because you said the lady had a key.

Jeesh, let people have their fun.

13

Maybe it was a realtor.

14

I hope the answer to this is a surprise - like, the left half, or the lower left quadrant and the upper right quadrant.

15

Then I hope she made that sale!

16

Now that you mention it, me too.

17

Thread winner.

18

It just doesn’t have the same zing if you aren’t parked in a secluded (but still quite public) area. And, ummm, it helps if you chose the vehicle for this activity rather carefully, especially if neither one of the couple is as limber as they used to be.

19

Nah, she blew it.

20

You’ll want to explain to pooch that “dogging” doesn’t necessarily require an actual dog