To the filthy bitch that entered my car without my permission.

The BBQ Pit
1

Dear Ginger,

I know that it was quite hot out today. Approaching 95 degrees, actually, and since it has been cold for quite a while, it made it feel even hotter.

I also know that, being a dog, it is hard for you to cool down, what with you being covered in fur and having so few sweat glands and all. Being the nice person that I am, I left the gate to our nice, cool, inground pool open so you could utilize it whenever you pleased. I see you enjoyed that quite a bit. I’m glad.

I also saw that you took notice to my nice, clean* car, which was parked in the nice shady region under a tree, with the windows rolled down. I did this purposely, since I do not have air conditioning in said car and had to go to school this afternoon. I wanted to keep the interior of my precious car as cool as possible.
What you failed to notice, however, that my beautiful firebird is NOT, I repeat, NOT, a dog house.

But as I said, I am a nice person, and I am willing to forgive you for the scratches all up and down the door that you left in the car’s brand new paint job when you were trying to jump into the car through the window. It seems that it took you several tries to heave your rather fat ass into the car. I’m sorry to hear that.

What I am NOT willing to forgive you for is the fact that you took a dip in the pool I was nice enough to provide you with, apparently rolled around in dirt to dry yourself off (unsuccessfully), and THEN decided to get in my car.
Please, please, for the love of all that is good, do not do this in the future.

Thank you for your attention.

rae.

[sub]* clean in the sense that there was random crap strewn about, but was previously completely lacking in the mud and miscellaneous other particles of filth you decided to provide.[/sub]

2

I have tried unsucesfully for years to get cosmetics companies to bottle the smell of Wet Dog and sell it as cologne. They seem to think I’m nuts, but I think it smells better than most of the crap they put out.

3

I vote for the dog in this little dispute.

4

You cruel bastard. Please exit my thread in a orderly fashion.

5

Ditto. And don’t you dare call me a bastard.

6

Explain.

[sub]bastard[/sub]

7

Bre’r Lappin, I read your OP a few minutes ago, and I wisely just passed on until I calmed down a bit. I don’t deny that you might have a legitimate greivance.

But, don’t flame the dog for being a dog. If you must, flame the dog’s owner for being a bad owner. There is too little information in your OP. Why is this dog running loose? Do you know the owner? Have you talked to the owner?

I’m sorry your car got dirty. But don’t even think about taking it out on the dog. Not that you suggested you would, mind you, but just in case. Let’s concentrate on who is really to blame, and deal with it from there. Okay?

8

I feel like I’m in the Twilight Zone and everyone is reading the OP differently from me. Sounds like your dog did something mine would do if she could climb high enough to get into the van and if I left my windows open. Only I don’t have a pool, so she’d be trying to climb after going into the mud in the woods behind the yard.

What is it with dogs and cars? Maybe you could get a car cover for when you park it - is Ginger smart enough to figure out how to remove one?

9

Man, when the police get here, I’d hate to be in your shoes.

10

Um…let’s see. My mother is the owner. The dog was “running loose” in our one and a half acre yard that happens to have an eight foot fence surrounding the entire premises. There is also a doggy door in the back door of our house so she can come and go as she pleases.
Sorry that there was too little information in the OP, but I kind of thought it to be irrelevant. Guess not. I apologise.
If you still believe that bad ownership is involved here, please feel free to elaborate, because I would love to hear why.

11

Well, damn, **Bre’r **, I do feel like a fool. But I’m so used to seeing flamefests here where people are carrying on about what evil was wrought upon them by others, I made assumptions that were not necessarily warranted. OK, you were flaming (essentially) your own dog. I bitch at mine all the time. Then I give them a treat. Give Ginger a treat for me, next time she does not jump into your car. Positive reinforcement works best. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

12

I’m - in canine terms - a bitch.

You’re complaining about your mother’s dog?? Have you spoken to her about the dog’s behavior?
Sympathy will not be forthcoming, IMO.

13

It is perfectly acceptable.
You know how sometimes you’ll be talking to someone about Subject X, and then you’ll both start talking about something else, and 20 minutes later you blurt out something about Subject X and the person has no idea what you’re talking about and it takes you a while to figure out why they’re looking at you like you have three heads? It’s kind of like that.

Now why would I do a silly thing like that? She’ll tell me to keep the windows rolled up. It’s the principle, dammit. The dog could have walzed into the house, sat on “her” couch under the ceiling fan, been surrounded by the 6 open windows in the livingroom alone, and quietly “watched” the television which my mother leaves on every day “to keep her company”, but nooo. She chose to seek shelter in my car. Which is the point of the OP.
I guess I should have mentioned all that, but…I didn’t.

14

Oh, and furthermore, the message was directed towards the dog (who happens to frequent this message board!) and she knew what I was talking about.
So there. :slight_smile:

15

Welcome back. How was the Other Side?

16

My dog would do the same, if she was allowed outside where the cars are parked by herself, if she had a pool or even mud to play in. She would be in the car hoping to go for a ride–hi ho hi ho it’s off to the park we go.

Have fun cleaning your car and when you finish could you clean mine too? :slight_smile:

17

I believe some people are taking this OP a mite bit too seriously. My dogs won’t actually get into the pool, but they delight in chasing the pool sweep until it’s soaked them thoroughly. True success is only really gained when you manage to grab one of the wheels with your teeth and pull it out of the pool(or so I’m told).
-Lil

18

Last year with a hurricane approaching I was filling the bathtubs, and accidentally didn’t shut the door well enough to the upstairs hall bathroom. Our lab/golden retriever mix, Isaac, had a LOVELY swim…and an even lovelier chase through the house, leaving sprays of water everywhere as he shook and shook and shook.

We won’t even DISCUSS what he can do in the muddy yard after it rains.

Dogs just have really good instincts for the best way to create the most mess in the least amount of time!

19

I suggest you roll up a newspaper…and smack yourself in the head. Oh, and check to see if poochie tried hot-wiring the car.

20

I went to look at a car I might be interested in buying a few weeks ago. As I parked and got out to greet the owner, their two big dogs started jumping all over my nice clean car. I cringed.

I did have to wash off some muddy pawprints, but luckily did not have to sent the owner a bill for paintless dent repair or scratch removal.

Oh, and his car was a piece of shit.