To the filthy bitch that entered my car without my permission.

The BBQ Pit
21

Guys, relax. I read it as a pretty funny thread. You know, we think it’s a woman who entered the car, but it turns out to be a dog. Kind of in the same vein as the cat threads, in which owners claim that their feline companions are capable of logging on to the boards.

Bre’r Lappin, (oh, I just got your name…I think), I didn’t find anything offensive about your OP. No calling anyone bastards? It’s the pit! The rest of you–what is it, the heat? or do you just have four foot maces up your respective holes?

22

I’m with Zoggie on this one.

I read the OP with a huge smile on my face, once I discovered who “Ginger” was. It was a cute, funny little OP.

Instructions on how to pull sticks out of your ass:

  1. Grab stick

  2. Yank really hard

  3. Regain sense of humor

Yeesh. What’s next, are people going to challenge the OP’s use of the term “fat ass” in describing the dog?

:rolleyes:

23

Now lezlers, we all know Ginger has a glandular problem. Really Blonde and other this is a joke. It is meant to be funny and achieves that objective. Please explain why the OP is getting pissed on?

24

I’m guessing it’s because the dog will be upset that her owner posted to a message board behind her back. Above her back. Whatever. I thought this OP was funny too, and can’t see how it was misinterpreted this wildly.

25

As a dog owner, I thought the OP was fucking hysterical. Maybe I will write a letter to my dog chastising him for sneaking out of the bedroom that one time and peeing on the Turkish carpet when I slept in really late, rather than waking me up to go out. He was only being considerate, really.

26

[Scotty turns to Spanky & says “They’ll Never Learn…”]

27

Jesus, this thread has more whooshes than a military air show.

Outstanding OP, btw.

Haj

28

I took it as humorous as well. It pains me that we have to point this kind of stuff out, but I was responding to the funny picture of a dog not cooperating very well with the owner’s unrealistic desire to keep him out of his pool and car with the windows rolled down. I think anyone who has owned a dog knows that he was poking fun at himself more than actually berating a dog.

29

Good OP, bre’r.

Yeah, Zoggie, it must be the heat.

30

My dog is a chow chow. This particular breed comes in orange and black and we wanted a black female. I would cringe everytime one of the breeders would refer to me as the guy who wanted the “black bitch.”

Haj

31

You’re lucky it was just your dirty dog. If local cats got into the car, they might have used the upholstry as a scratching post.

There are short expendable fences that can be put into a car window to keep dogs in (or in this case, out) of a car while you have the windows open for ventilation. You should check it out.

32

I, too, thought the OP was a hoot. I do have some practical advice, though. People in hot climates have found that rolling down the window just an inch or two keeps the interior pretty cool without exposing it to invasion. Er, the interior of the car, that is.

33

Sorry…expAndable!

34

Anyone else reminded of a Far Side strip? It’s the one where we see a guy reading a note that says “Dear Master, Rex and I took the car to town. Stay! Stay! Ha Ha! The Dog” and in the other panel, it shows a bunch of dogs in a car…

35

Dear Bre’r,

Indeed, yesterday was a very hot day. Thanks for noticing. Also, thank you for leaving the gate to your nice, cool, inground pool open so that I could cool off with a swim at my leisure. This gesture was greatly appreciated.

What I do not appreciate is your decision to slander my name in a public forum with cruel untruths such as “filthy bitch” and describing my nimble ascent into your crappy rustbucket as heaving “my rather fat ass into the car.” Your comments are as false as they are cruel.

Most disturbing is the fact that you choose to bring your dissatisfaction with my actions to a public forum, without coming to me first. The mature thing to do would be to discuss the issue with me directly, giving me a chance to explain my actions and beg forgiveness with big, sweet, puppy-dog eyes. But nooooo, you had to rush off to slander me in public, without taking the time for so much as a “Bad dog!” or the shaking of a rolled up newspaper at me to show your displeasure.

Luckily, I am a regular lurker on the SDMB, and stumbled across your post, so I am able to respond to your wild accusations.

I am fully aware that your “beautiful firebird” (aka 1986 Taurus wagon) is not a dog house. Unfortunately, I was forced to enter this rusty deathtrap in an effort to save you undue discomfort.

After having freshly bathed in the pool, I was carefully applying a coat of dirt and grime to myself in preparation for my important undercover patrol to dutifully chase moles from our beautiful lawn, when I detected a foul odor. You see, not only is extremely hot weather an uncomfortable inconvenience for those of the canine persuasion – it also seems to have a rather disgusting effect on forgotten food items. Apparently, on one of your twice-a-day Burger King runs, you were once again stuffing your fat face so fast on your way home that a large quantity of french fries managed to miss your gaping maw entirely, and spill onto the floor of your beloved grocery-getter. Furthermore, the tomato and pickles you removed from your 2 double-whoppers with cheese (who’s the fat-ass again?) were still wrapped in a napkin on the floor in the back seat of your car. Combined with the sweltering heat, that rotting food was quickly becoming a serious odor problem.

So, with only your best interests in mind, I proceeded to enter your vehicle, where I dutifully gobbled up every last french fry, and choked down your discarded condiments. Not that I wanted to, mind you – I like to keep my athletic figure and have no interest whatsoever in table scraps – but I felt obligated to prevent that odor from permeating through that horrid rusty wagon you seem to believe is some sort of “hot rod.”

So you see, Bre’r, you did not fully understand the situation. You rushed off to defame me in a public forum without realizing that my actions were an effort on my part to help you out. I feel as if a great deal of trust has been lost, and I find myself unable to deal with you at this time. Go lay down!

Your dog,
Ginger

36

That was priceless.

37

wow… That’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen on this board…

38

Spectacular.

39

Bravo Bre’r Lappin. :stuck_out_tongue:

40

::snort::

Rae, you’re just mad it’s not a bitchin’ Camaro is all.

Bad Ginger!

(Not GingerOftheNorth though. She’s not a dog at all. Hi Gingy!)