To the filthy bitch that entered my car without my permission.

Holy crap, that was awesome. “…a large quantity of french fries managed to miss your gaping maw entirely…”

I love it.

Yes, it is the heat…100+ heat index today (gasp wheeze).
Ginger, you are very welcome to the SDMB. I’m anticipating more intelligent posts from you than most (I’m KIDDING!)

Heh heh heh. This is good stuff.

Note to self: Should I ever get dogs, do not repeat do not leave the windows of the Ivory Destrier open.

(Ginger, you did wash your paws before using the computer right?)

Ginger, that’s got to be the funniest thing I’ve ever read! I was laughing so hard that my beloved Binkley*-dog thought I was crying and came to comfort me.

*So named because we figured a shelter dog was bound to have an anxiety closet like his “Bloom County” namesake, it’s turned out to have even more chilling consequences. If he could read and talk, he very likely would be waking us up at 3AM to discuss exerpts of “Elvis and Me.” As it is 3 is merely playtime.

That was just fantastic. A blessing on your head, Bre’r Lappin.

I thank all of you who complimented me on my OP (and defended it), but it seems I have been overshadowed by a 5 year old german shorthair pointer. (For the record, though I would love to take credit for it, “Ginger’s” post was NOT made by me. I applaud whoever it WAS by.)

I also apologize for my extended absence (a whole day!) from this thread, but it seems my IP number was “mistakenly placed on the ban list.” However, the problem does not seem to have been fixed so I am currently paying $2.95 an hour to post this through AOL so I do not go through withdrawal.
I am not having a good week.

Oh, and I also seem to be missing 1 (one) small green plush elephant from the back seat of my eighty-six taur…I mean firebird. I would love to know whether Ginger has an explanation for this.

Rasa - mention camaros in my presence again and I may be tempted to haul my ass up there and randomly park in your garage for several weeks on end.

Almost willing to bet that the inadvertent banning came from the assumption that Ginger was your sock.

Holy Crap!

Yer dawg can read!

AND TYPE!!! :eek:

Heh. The story in the OP reminds me of the Great Quarantined Guide Dog Christmas Incident.

Time: Christmas Day, 1983.
Place: Animal Quarantine Station, Oahu, Hawaii.
Weather: Torrential rains.

kaylasmom and I had been invited to spend Christmas Day at her aunt’s house in Hawaii Kai. Having no clear idea what time we would return to the Quarantine Station, and not wishing to torture Misty Dawn by leaving her unable to go out to pee should the need arise, we left the back door of our bungalow open. The back door opened out onto a yard (and I’m using the term “yard” to describe both its function and its size) of hard-packed red clay.

Actually, given the weather conditions at the time, “hard-packed” is not what this red clay was. It was gooey, slimy, and thick, and when applied to the luxuriant coat of a long-haired Golden Retriever, it frescoed the interior of the bungalow with a decorative scheme that would have made Jackson Pollock proud, for all that it was monochromatic. Misty Dawn must have gone out to refill her palette half a dozen times; there was not an inch of floor space left uncovered, the bathtub had been treated inside and out, all of our clothing was newly dyed in Red Hill red, as were the bedclothes. We returned, exhausted, at around 10 p.m., and had to just sleep where we dropped.

We spent the next day, dawn to dusk (and beyond), cleaning the entire bungalow, stopping in the middle to bathe Misty Dawn when we realized that Red Hill red was so close to her natural color that she was still applying a sponge-paint-like finish to some freshly-washed surfaces. By the time it was safe to leave her on her own again, all of the laundromats on our part of the island were closed, so we had to pile all of our laundry into the car and go into Waikiki, where a diligent search rewarded us with a hotel that had a 24-hour laundromat. We finally got home at about 2 a.m., having learned a lesson about relying on Misty Dawn’s self-control, and resigned to spending the next three months without taking all-day trips off the quarantine station.

The fuck? :confused:
It was a lighthearted OP ranting about the dog that trashed his car. I really don’t understand how anyone could take it any other way.

neuroman, I, too, don’t understand how anyone could have taking the OP any other way… but we better get used to it.

Just the other day, on a message board that shall remain nameless, I saw several posts from no doubt very nice people who were able to watch an entire episode of Al TV complete with celebrity interviews and yet did not understand that Weird Al takes already extant celebrity interviews and edits them into an amusing vignette.

Now I’m wondering whether there’s some sort of show-biz name for this interview edit technique. It is/was the modus operandii on Space Ghost Coast to Coast.

In the fifties, comic types published books that had new and goofy captions attached to well-known news photos.

And I have some memories of hearing an old radio show that did this…

HER car.

:slight_smile:

Well, ya know, if you have a username which includes a colloquial contraction of the word for a male sibling, folks will tend to think you’re a guy. :slight_smile:

I mean, if my username were Sister Christian, people would assume I was female, though I could just be a big Night Ranger fan. Wait…is there such a thing? :smiley: