Hi! You know what, this is getting a little old. I’m not sure what’s motivating you and your little brain to choose my car, but twice is far too often. I’m ever so sorry that you didn’t find the stuff in my car good enough to steal this time. I’ll try to do fucking better next time. I hope you’re enjoying my organic chemistry notes from last time. They certainly are a laugh a minute, aren’t they? Oh no, of course I won’t need them for the rest of the semester, please, be my fucking guest!
So let me see if I’ve got this plan straight… You walk all the way down our driveway, passing several cars on your way, and stop at my car? Have I got pheromones sprayed on it or something? So then you proceed to check out the fabulous piles of stuff that are in my car. I’m sorry you didn’t appreciate the paper towels and toilet paper I had in there from Sam’s this time. If I could only figure out how to avoid it myself, I’d have a nice big bag of dog shit waiting for you next time. Are you not concerned at all about the dogs who rush right up to the fence every time you show up? I wouldn’t be that confident about the safety that gate provides. Zelda has been known to escape at times.
Are the other cars just not as cool as mine? Not as much of a challenge or something? I am starting to become a trifle insulted that you haven’t tried to steal my cds yet. Is my taste in music really that bad? I will try to improve.
Sincerely,
-Lil
Oh Lil I sympathize. Damn miscreants have hit my car four times now. First time they took the four loads of laundry I had brought back from the laundromat just an hour previous. I still expect to see some dude wearing my shirt.
Thanks, Riley. I guess I should mention that this has all been within the last two weeks. I did get at least one good laugh out of this though. Apparently my friend Christy got it into her head that some innocent girl was walking around campus with my bookbag(because they were both bright orange LL Bean bags) so she tailed her all the way across campus. At least she had a good time playing secret agent. :
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Double p, I can relate, a few years ago I was working the night shift, when my supervisor came up to me and said the police want to talk to me up front.
Well as it turns out, my car and one other were broken into, they got a Sony Walkman out of his car and a pair of black leather gloves out of mine.
I could of dealt with the gloves being gone, but they did they hafta fucking break the drivers side window to get them. Sonafabitches!!
It’s the middle of the night, in the middle of February, in Minnesota, and now I have to drive home in 20 degree weather. With no gloves. Assholes!!
Fuck you!! You fucking bastards!! Was a pair of JC Penney black leather gloves worth the trouble. Those gloves fit perfect. Dickheads!!
This was about the third time that cars were broken into that winter. So the next day there is a memo posted on the main bulletin board, telling us employees on 2nd shift to lock our cars and to park near the lot lights. Well you dumbasses, my car was parked near a light and it was locked, thats why they broke the fucking window!!
They did this instead of saying that, Hey! Maybe its time to get a security guard or maybe a camera. Hey! Maybe we should offer to pay the deductible on any damage caused in the company lot while our employees are working. But no, they tell us to do what we were already doing.
I don’t work there anymore.
I feel better now.
Mine was broken into 3 times, the door has been kicked and dented, the bonnet dented by a large rock…still sitting split into two on the ground in front of it (it was a flint, it split from the force of the blow), random scratches, and my rear view mirrors smashed off (pavement side only or both) on numerous occasions…Did I mention I have a crappy, old, beat up Nova that obviously isn’t worth nicking & doesn’t even have a name brand radio? The first time they broke in, they didn’t take anything except the 2 tribbles that were in the glove box & which were only in there because the ex didn’t like cute things…
Anyway…I understand what you’re going through. I had plans for machine gun towers on the street corners, till I realised that would do even more damage to the body work…the current plan is for rifles with telescopic night sights…or for a high voltage hooked up to the car 
Happened to me once back on the East Coast–I worked for the college I was going to, and was parked in the lot right across from the police station. Got out to my car and the window had been forced down. I’d stayed at my then-SO’s place that weekend, and had a backpack with my clothes and toiletries in it–that’s the only thing that was missing. So someone made off with my dirty laundry. Nice.
I think I see a trend:
Break into cars.
Take clothes.
Donate clothes to Goodwill.
Deduct cost of clothes from taxes.
You have my sympathy. My car was broken into as well. I think they were trying for the car itself because there was nothing of value in it. Broke the ignition and steering column. Bastards. My house was also broken into, two times in six days, in all likelihood the same perp. First time took the VCR(this was before the computer). Second time couldn’t find anything to steal so they COOKED MY BACON AND EGGS AND HAD BREAKFAST!!! And scared my cat so bad it took me a half hour to coax him from wherever he was hiding. THAT is what made me mad.
Did you call the cops? Sometimes here they don’t want to come for this sort of incident. I was told to go to the police station to make a report, but I asked them HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET THERE? Insisted THEY move their butts.
terrible as this is, are you sure its the same person?
Of course I can’t be positive it’s not the same person, but both incidents included a person walking all the way down our driveway past at least two other perfectly good cars to choose mine. In fact, my parents’ cars are in much better shape than mine(they’re better drivers than me, and my car’s suffering from the effects of a few minor fender benders). Add in the fact that the car was entered twice in the last two weeks, and it seems to me that the odds are definitely leaning towards it being the same person.
-Lil