A Perfectly Reasonable Amount of Schadenfreude about Things Happening to Trump & His Enablers (Part 2)

The BBQ Pit
8982

Trump at his next rally:

They put me at the FRYER. The toughest job at McDonalds, the widow maker they call it, usually it takes years of training to work the fryer, but they gave it to me first thing. No way low IQ Kamalamala could have done it.

[10 minute diatribe about Harris]

See it really takes smarts. Not many people know this but you have to take the fries out of the bag before you put them in the fryer. You put the fries in a basket, many people think that you just dump them in the oil, but they have this little basket, the most amazing invention known to man, whoever thought of that must be a genius not as genius as me of course, but a genius none the less, did I ever tell you that my uncle went to MIT

[5 minute reminiscence about his uncle and how smart Trump is].

So you put the fries in the basket and put the basket in the oil. You might think you are done at this point, but your not, you have to wait, and wait until those fries cook. Now you are looking at those fries turning brown but you don’t know if they are done, so you might think that you just reach in and grab one to taste how done it is, but they don’t let you do that apparently its against regulations.

[20 minute diatribe about the nanny state].

Instead that have this buzzer, and when the buzzer goes off its time to take out the fries, nobody knows how the buzzer knows when the fries are done but it does. But then came the hard part getting the fries out of the fryer and into the place where the people can get them. It was hot and the oil was flying everywhere and the fries weighed a ton, believe me no one in the history of the world suffered as much as a suffered getting those fries out, but after I dumped them in the hopper the manager came up to me and told me that never in all her 20, 25, 30 years of amanging a McDonalds, never had she seen someone operate the fryer as well as I did.

Then just as we were leaving this big black biker dude came up to me 7 foot tall muscles tatoos all over and he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said “Sir I was going to vote for Kamalam, since I know that she was going to bring all that fentanyl over the border and I’m addicted to fentanyl so I was going to vote for her. But then I tried one of your fries and it was so good that I realized that I didn’t need drugs anymore. Thank you sir you saved my life!”

8983

Quite impressive. Trump’s being fast-tracked.

I agree, I have it on good authority that one usually has to work their way up to fries:

Maurice: Hey, I started out mopping the floor just like you guys. But now… now I’m washing lettuce. Soon I’ll be on fries; then the grill. In a year or two, I’ll make assistant manager, and that’s when the big bucks start rolling in.

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I can’t decide if he is going to show tomorrow. I’m 50/50. Anyone think otherwise?

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He’ll stroll into the kitchen with a hairnet on, stare slack-jawed at the fryer for several minutes like Kim Jong-Un admiring a bushel of wheat, “joke” about being entitled to an employee discount, promise free food to everyone in the restaurant, then leave without paying.

8986

There’s an SNL skit in there somewhere.

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Then one of the other employees, who’d been peeling onions, came up to me with tears in his eyes…

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…and he said, “Damn! And I thought the onions stink!”

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BUCKS COUNTY, PENNSYLVANIA (AP) — Former President Donald Trump caused the shutting down of a McDonald’s, and the calling of a sanitation team, after trying to work the fryer on Sunday.

The former President walked in and put on an apron, but employees soon began noticing an unusual odor. “It was like armpits, ketchup, makeup and a little butt,” said employee Kyle Sebastian, 18. “I mean, I’m cutting up onions, and it overpowered them.”

(Credit to Adam Kinzinger for the description of Trump’s odor.)

8990

You had me at “widow maker”!

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8992

One complaint about that video - the campaign spent $31,000 at McDonalds. That doesn’t mean Trump ate $31,000 of McDonalds. Catering late staffers is most likely.

8993

I approve of the chicken big mac and hereby authorize them to spend more campaign funds to help make it permanent.

8994

I saw a photo of Agent Orange standing next to an employee in front of the fryer and immediately thought of that one scene in the movie Scotland, PA.

8995

Yeah, he probably only ate about $28k worth, tops.

8996

How is it that even in AI-generated idealized worship images of Trump, he still looks like a fat dumpy loser? Look at the man-boobs, the beer gut, the camel-knuckle, the freakishly oversived thighs, the hanging jowls.

8997

Are you kidding? (and I thought it was Moose knuckle, but that’s not the point)

Look how freakishly small his hands are! Someone was having fun with that image.

8998

Him in Stealers gear is strangely appropriate.

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Arnold Palmer would be envious (except that he didn’t like Trump).

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What are you talking about? There’s no beer gut. Those aren’t man boobs, they are pectoral muscles. Yes his thighs are huge. Have you never watched football? Some of those guys are trees.

I’ll give you the hanging jowls. And his small hands and his Arnold Palmer. Add his orange clown face makeup.

As far as his chest, his pecs should actually be covered by his shoulder pad chest protector and straps.

9001

I see what you did there.