We’ve been here before. Sorry, but the title still belongs to and will ALWAYS belong to
<wait for it>
*At Long Last Love. *
A worse piece of crap has never appeared on screen. It offends in every possible way. There is no aspect of it that is not worthless drivel, except the music, but putting THAT divine music in THIS setting is insult and agony. The film is perfection in the most negative sense of the word.
The only movie I’ve walked out of the theater on :
I honestly thought this was going to be a “rock n roll” version of “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?” Instead, I got terrible acting by both Kim Basinger and a very young Brad Pitt, and most of all - the animation was a complete joke. Roger Rabbit was ground breaking stuff at the time, and I expected the same from this film. Boy, was I fooled. There are scenes in this movie where you can plainly see that the animated figure is a cardboard cutout and the actors have to walk AROUND it. It was that bad. Atrocious.
Lost in Translation.
The critics loved it. Me? I can’t imagine why. Bill Murray is bored, Scarlett Johanson is bored, they meet each other and apparently tour Japan, and maybe it relieves THEIR boredom, but it’s not really a story. Not that I could tell, anyway.
At Long Last Love…a movie so bad it’s never been released on DVD or even videotape. One of those ‘lost’ movies that’s so bad you wonder WHY it hasn’t been released, if only to marvel at.
For me, Police, Adjective, a Romanian film about a police detective. I’ll spoil it just in case but there is not much to spoil, really.
The detective is following a teenager around a dreary-looking town, watching him have a daily toke with a couple friends, and concludes he isn’t worth arresting. His boss thinks otherwise and, in the end, the cops are planning an elaborate sting operation to up the charges from mere possession and use.I’m not one to demand dazzle and flash in a movie; a good character study will keep my attention just fine. This one was one of these but the study was swaddled in the minutia of every day life. As one of the IMDb reviewers said, “If the guy wants a Coke, you’ll watch him stand, then follow as he walks through the doorway and down the hall, around two corners, to stand in front of the Coke machine. He’ll stand a minute making up his mind, rummage through his pockets for change, pick the can out of the bin, then we follow him all the way back to his office, sit, open the can, and take a sip.”
I thought Japanese directors were good for taking forty minutes what could be said in ten, but Porumbiou takes the cake.
I’ve seen lots of movies that were so boring I turned them off but for worst movie ever I’d like to nominate Star Trek (2009). It doesn’t bother me that they retconned everything. It bugs me that characters are cardboard stereotypes. But what really bothers me is that it seems to me absolutely no thought went into making this film. It like whoever wrote the screenplay for this movie had a checklist of things he wanted to put in this movie and didn’t care how he got there. Mainly I can’t help thinking that Paramount simply didn’t care and knew that no matter how bad it was Star Trek fans would go to see it.
That piece of dreck was NOT Star Trek. No matter how it was marketed, it bore no resemblance whatsoever to the series’ concept, and I pray to God they never make a sequel!
Ah! This is one of the acclaimed movies I found boring and couldn’t remember when I wrote my previous post. Indeed, actors seemed as bored as me. That was possibly the point of the movie, in fact.
Try a different deity :dubious:
*My Dinner With Andre *(several folks walked out)
I’ll second:
*The Royal Tenenbaums *
Lost in Translation
I have to contribute The Two Jakes, the sequel to Chinatown, which was a decent film in most respects. The difference was that Nicholson decided to give directing a shot. Huge mistake; it was an unmitigated piece of boring crap, poorly directed (surprise!), and poorly edited.
More recently, Paranormal Activity was a complete waste of film and of my time. I settled in, waiting to be terrified…and waited…and waited…and roll credits.
The Tree of Life: didn’t understand it, didn’t like it, want my money back. Doesn’t mean it was bad, I guess; I just didn’t get it.
I liked some of the films listed here, never saw Margaret.
One movie that I recall as pissing me off to no end was the Scarlett Johanssen movie about the *Black Dahlia *murders. That may have been the title. I don’t even remember much about it other than hating it and screaming at the TV as I watched the DVD!
Movies like this are why I stopped going to theaters years ago. The last several movies I remember seeing at theaters all sucked.
So when I saw horrible moves on HBO or Showtime I could appreciate their awfulness. Easily the worst movies I’ve seen in the past 10 years has to be The Wicker Man remake. I actually DO want to see it again, because it was so bad I was laughing all the way through it, and I would like to know if the comically awful aspect holds up over time.
If by “holds up” you mean still so mind bogglingly stupid that you feel like you smoked a big old bowl of the giggly pot, then yes, yes they do.
Yes, that’s exactly what I mean, and it’s good to know that if I see it again it won’t be a waste. 
It does. Oh, it does. Please enjoy this laugh-out-loud funny compilation of the best scenes from The Wicker Man. “How’d it get burned? How’d it get burned, how’d it get burned, how’d it get burned?!”
For me, The Happening caused a borderline existential crisis brought on by cognitive dissonance. I just could not understand how a mainstream movie with a Hollywood budget could be so unbearably bad. The scene where Mark Wahlberg starts talking to the tree…what is this I don’t even…
I almost referenced The Happening in my OP. It is a movie most foul. I’ve managed to erase most of the details from my memory, but I do remember feeling hostile when I left the theater. It’s a masterpiece compared to the loathsome *Margaret, *however.At least Betty Buckley’s character had the decency to put her face through a window. Anna Paquin unfortunately survives this turd intact.
The ONLY thing that made me watch this movie was it’s 70% Rotten Tomatoes score.
I have to agree now though that this movie is almost as worthless as “1000 words” with Eddie Murphy. What a piece of shit. Not even worth the 2 minutes it would take to watch only the “highlights”.
I have to admit…I’ve never walked out on a movie. I think it’s a combination of stubborness and masochism; a sort of “I paid good money for this, I’m going to make it play every last second in an air conditioned theater for my trouble”/“You paid good money for this, you idiot, you’re going to sit here and watch every last second and think about what you’ve done.”
And I’ve seen “Monkeybone” and “Aeon Flux” in the theaters. The former, at least, has Henry Sellick directing, Rose McGowan as a cute catgirl, and a very nice surf-rock song on the soundtrack during the credits.
Aeon Flux was…aggressively mediocre. I mean, how do you screw that up? You do surrealistic weird shit onscreen in a sci-fi setting for two hours, and explain little of it. Done. It’d even cover up the parts that Hollywood would have trouble adapting to the big screen from the show—namely, halfway intelligent (albeit weird) dialogue and plots.
I’m becoming convinced that the worst way to change a work of art in an adaptation isn’t making it different, but when you honestly think you’re making it better.
Heh, here’s my point-by-point deconstruction of Highlander II from another old thread.
More specifically, they made them aliens who are mortal on their homeworld, but are sent here where they will be immortal demigods, as punishment. They are, effectively, sentenced to being immortal.
The Thin Red Line is the only movie to have displaced Highlander II as my own personal choice for worst movie of all time.