Apparently it’s actually called “A Friday Night Date,” even though on the on-screen guide it came up “Road Rage.”
It should have been alternately titled, “Holy Dear God, How We Made Such a Fucked Up Embolism of a Film Is a Mystery to Mankind.”
First of all, this wasn’t the worst movie I’ve ever seen. That “honor” goes to this fucking thing, which will wear that crown for all of eternity. That said, this movie is even worse than THIS piece of shit, and THAT is saying something.
However, I pay a hefty premium to have HBO pumped into my home every month, and THIS is the best I can get? How much did it cost to option “Road Rage,” you cheap fucking assholes? Five bucks and gas money for the producers?
And yes, I could have changed the channel. Of course. But I found myself locked to the television, agog at the thought that something this fuckin’ bad could ever have been made. It was staggering. I literally kept hanging on to find out if there was a sliver of a ray of hope at the end of the Tunnel of Poop. Alas, there was not.
So here we go. In order, by which people or persons need the Pitting the most:
Fuck you in your assholes sideways, HBO. You consistently put out phenomenal original programming, and you follow it up with this F-minus grade made-for-TV bullshit. If I wasn’t so in love in “Deadwood,” “The Sopranos,” and “Six Feet Under,” I’d cancel your ass so fast it’d make your collective heads spin.
Fuck you, Sidney J. Furie, director of this goddamn piece of shit. You gave us “Iron Eagle,” and then followed it up with a stint on “V.I.P.” I should have known your credentials would include a veritable laundry-list of shitty movies and failed experiments, but never in my wildest dreams did I think you’d infect the world with this mind-numbingly boring piece of crap. Congratulations on releasing the cinematic equivalent of The Andromeda Strain on the unsuspecting world.
Fuck you, Casper Van Dien. You might not have had much material to work with on this shitpile, but you weren’t even phoning it in. You had no phone. You had a can with a string that used to connect to another can before the string broke. You have no acting skills. You have no skills whatsoever. What you have are two bright-blue model eyes, which apparently have helped you land sweet roles in “Starship Troopers” and that piece-of-shit Tarzan movie. Well, the gravy train has just pulled out of the station, Casper. Your career ended with “Sleepy Hollow.” Hope you enjoy the $1.12 royalty checks you’re getting from “Road Rage.” You earned it, buddy!
Oh, and I almost forgot.
The worst part of this movie was this wildly-screaming, bitching-and-moaning “heroine” named Danielle Brett. I swear, if I ever see this woman in public, I will politely request she turn around so I can boot her in the heiney once.
Alas, I must give the nod, however slight, to “No Contest.” This movie not only sucked wretched sour frog ass, but also had the temerity to spawn an equally-terrible sequel.
If evil has a face, it is Shannon Tweed’s film career. And while not truly possessing of a face, it does contain the mild odor of anus.
“No Contest” is so bad, it would cause the suicides of Mike, Crow and Tom Servo.
Ok Im confused, while you were watching the movie you obviously decided you didnt like it so why didnt you just turn it off? Go watch something else instead or whatever…
Also just a little side note, will you please name the movies you dont like, Im interested in what you or anyone else has to say when I open a topic, but its damn annoying if I have to open three or four extra windows just so I can follow one post.
It was riveting in the way that car crashes and forest fires and Tom Bergeron hosting “America’s Funniest Home Videos” are. You stick around, thinking, “No way can this get worse. Sooner or later, the law of averages dicates that the writer and director will write and direct something that doesn’t suck this bad.”
But no. Everything that went before was bad, but everything that comes along is worse. It’s the ultimate M.C. Escher style of filmmaking. A perpetual downward staircase that never has an up.
Nope I didnt miss your post, I just think that if your watching a movie thats really bad from the beginning, its hardly going to get any better, so just turn the stupid thing off.
I see your point though, Ive seen a couple bad movies because Ive wanted to know how the story ends etc. But I think if I were watching a movie that annoyed my so much that I ended up pitting it and its leading actor, I would have turned off sooner.
Is that his REAL name? I can’timagine even the most idiotic parents naming their son “Casper”!..Anyway, he is a lousy actor…most of the roles I’ve seen him in show as either:
-asleep
-almost asleep
However, he has a nice ass!
Holy crap. A guy I work with has seen You Got Served at the theater. More than once.
To his credit, he said he only liked the dance scenes, and that the acting was awful. How someone can watch a movie more than once for dance scenes, I can’t quite discern.
What the hell? So they showed you a crappy movie. As you noted their orginal programming makes up for a heck of alot more then some D- played a 4am shit.
Really read a book or something I’m sure the money you spent on HBO doesn’t require you to watch it every second.
