Usually, no. One usually translates to “Saying I won’t date race X makes me sound like a bad person, so I’ll phrase it differently.” They can be different, though. Let’s say I said, for example, that I don’t date white guys because I find dark skin, hair and eyes attractive. You may ask, “Oh come now, surely there’s a blonde-haired boy somewhere who is just so dang cute, that it overrides your typical preferences?” and I may respond, “No, it’s been ingrained so thoroughly into my being that blonde hair is the most unattractive thing there is, and there is no way I can find anyone anywhere who has it physically appealing.” You might ask next, “Well what if I were to find you a nice, swarthy greek boy, with hair darker than yours?” Now if I actually meant what I said about it strictly being a physical appearance thing, I’d be delighted. If that were all some code that I used because it made me look slightly less bad than what saying I meant, I’d have to cave and admit, “Fine, I just don’t like white guys.”
Heh. I actually had my sister talk to me, out loud as if it were perfectly reasonable, about the one white guy she met who she might consider dating. He was cute and funny, but he was white. She’s met a lot of cute white guys but apparently whiteness is a deal breaker.
I know…
Edit: FTR, in case anyone cares about my personal preference, I will say for the whole internets to see, that I do usually have a physical preference for swarthiness, but I’ve seen enough people who don’t fit my “type” who I find cute anyway, that I would never make such a grand statement as “I don’t like X guys.” I put “type” in quotes because I’d reckon if I’m making enough exceptions, it’s not really much of a type then.
Yes this is how I feel about it too. I didnt mean to suggest there is a substantial difference, just the obvious semantic one. For instance, all the women who've rejected me because I'm white were middle eastern or indian. They were pretty clear they didnt want to date white guys. Any friend or acquaintance guy I’ve known who didnt date a certain race at least insisted he wasnt attracted to them.
No, not at all. I’ve been present for many frank discussions about romantic racial preferences, from people of many different ethicities. The only thing I’ve come away with is that the majority of people, men and women, prefer to date mostly within their own race, and both are likely to make blanket statements such as ‘Asian guys just aren’t attractive’ or ‘I only like Asian guys’ (true statments by two of my female friends, the second only dates Asian men) or ‘I could never date a black girl’ (which I’ve heard from countless white men). Also, your personal track record is a truer snapshot of what you are attracted to. Many people do have a distinct ‘type’, there’s nothing wrong with that, but realize it and own it for goodness sake.
Also, a lot of people are ignorant racists. A white girl who has dated/had sex with black men is a huge issue and a dealbreaker for a lot of white racists (round these here parts).
Fuzzy Dunlop, thanks for fighting my ignorance on this one. I believed the 50% statistic.
I wonder how much that proportion varies geographically. In any given city, I wonder, is it possible for 50% to be incarcerated? I’m asking because many black woman I know have decried the paucity of eligible black men, and I wonder if the likelihood of that perception may vary based on location.
And, FTR, recent threads and historical SDMB precedent (and as inane, insane, senseless, uninformed, ill-informed, hand-wringing, and all feel-goody as they may be…) clearly show you to be a racist.
Sorry to be the one tell you, but it had to be done.
Some years ago I read the statistic that Fuzzy Dunlop cited. I remember the fact----and being startled by it----- that 1/3 of all black men will have some experience with the criminal justice system in their life. (even if a minor cause.)
I would be highly reluctant to ascribe any large scale behavioral changes on the part of black women because of that statistic though.
Just out of curiosity did you look at the whole article I posted or just the statistic?
For the record it’s not like this is an issue near to my heart. The article is from this week’s Economist and not something I dug up. I just read it, remembered this thread existed, and thought it would be interesting to add to it.
IIRC from something I came across recently, there are actually fewer Black men born in American than Black women, period. So we’re starting from an imbalance.
My husband is Indian, so I guess he’s a different race than I am. I’ve never cared about his race or that of any other man I’ve dated. When I was younger, I was pretty equal dating opportunity.
The largest differences between me and my husband have always been in culture with little thought given to color, though many people ask me if my children, my son especially since he’s so much browner than I am, are adopted or if I’m babysitting. Or I’ll be asked the general, “Oh, where did you get them?” to which I’ll reply that they were on sale, so I got two.
It was really strange filling out our census form, though, because you have to claim a race. When I was claiming race for my children, I had to check two.
Well, to all that hit the report button, I apologize, and will explain the gist of the post.
It was not a swipe at MOL as much as the general SDMB SOP of finding a racist around every corner, and specifically the recent thread that (absurdly, IMV) proffered the idea that dating preferences, of all things, were an indication of racism.
Using that tortured logic, MOL’s preference for “swarthiness” can only be seen as rank racism and shouldn’t be tolerated around here. (redundant ;))
The fact is, I have no evidence of MOL’s racism (other than her dating preferences…) and she was used simply as a prop. (which she handled quite well…)
I’m sure that she would make a fine racist, should she ever wish to be one.
I know…
that MOL didn’t…
that MOL didn’t, because it caused more than one poster to hit the “Report Post To Moderator” button.