I think one of us would have to become a very different person. Like, I have this friend who got a divorce because her husband became addicted to (legitimately prescribed) painkillers and now he’s a drug addict, and nearly dying didn’t stop him a bit. That would do it.
But on the whole, the difficulties and consequences of divorce are very offputting, and we have a very strong relationship that has only gotten better in the 12 years of marriage we’ve had.
So, 99% A. The odds of my husband becoming a totally different person aren’t really all that high IMO.
I debated between A & B, but had to admit that you can’t predict what life will send your way. That said, though, I totally expect us to grow old together barring some freak accident or illness.
A. I was terrified to even start dating him since I’d gotten divorced after 16 years of marriage. But this is amazing and way beyond what I ever hoped or dreamed marriage could be. In fact, I had no idea marriage could be like this.
We both spent enough time as lonely square pegs, and appreciate each other enough for who we are, that the marriage absolutely comes first and we will do whatever is needed to preserve it. Life without each other is nothing.
I’m 41, he’s 52, together 20 years, married 18, straight (duh).
Usually I never say never, but without being able to fully describe to anyone else why this is so, I can confidently say that my marriage is 100% solid and always will be.
Hetero, married for 7 years, lived in sin for 2 years prior to that, long distance relationship for 4 years prior to that. I’m 31, he’s 43.
A, although I don’t think it will remain in its current state. I wouldn’t want it to! It’s always interesting and always changing, even when we’re under stress. Hetero, married for five and a half years, together for nine or ten. Don’t remember.
A, baby. He’s my absolute best friend, and I’m his. Makes the rough patches so much easier to smooth out. The “unforeseen catastrophe” in B is notable too, though…there are all kinds of hell that can happen that can alter who a person is, and how they relate. Still, that’s a huge hypothetical; who knows what can happen, and who can predict how it will affect us? So maybe I, too, need to say A-.
FTR, I’m 35, hetero, married 7 years (together 10 years; been friends nearly 17 years), and we have a 2yro son.
Hetero, first serious relationship for both of us, married 34 years with 3 kids, all of whom will be in college this fall.
He was gone for the last couple of weeks–first a letter carriers convention in Boston, then his 35th high school class reunion. And while he was gone, we apparently both came separately to the rather surprising conclusion that we are each other’s best friend. Kind of startling, after spending the last 20+ years mired up to the armpits in Parenting and never really seeing the other person. But now the kids are grown, and there’s time. So yeah, we don’t see us splitting up, because where would we go? We’re here, with Us.