Of he – or she – who hacked the board and took it down for the week. Juvenile bastards.
May you get four flat tires on the way home from work in the middle of the rain as you are hurrying to a hot date with someone known to be “fussy” about being on time. May your condoms all break.
May the fleas of a thousand camels . . . .
Well, you get the idea.
-Melin
What makes you think he/she’s getting laid in the first place?
“I thought: opera, how hard can it be? Songs. Pretty girls dancing. Nice scenery. Lots of people handing over cash. Got to be better than the cut-throat world of yoghurt, I thought.” - Seldom Bucket
Oh God no! The last thing we want is for these people to BREED!
Heh, good points, both of you! I withdraw that part of the curse.
May your chocolates always taste like haggis. (Apologies to the Scots among us.)
-Melin
May his pig never grunt, may his cat never hunt,
May a ghost always haunt him in the dead of the night,
May his hen never lay, may his ass never bray,
May his coat fly away like an old paper kite;
May the lice and the fleas the wretch ever tease,
May the pinching north breeze make him tremble and shake,
May a four-year-old bug build a nest in the Iug,
Of the monster that down our fair board he did take.
May his cock never crow, may his bellows ne’er blow,
And a-pot or po, may he never have one,
May his cradle not rock, may his box have no lock,
May his wife have no smock to shield her back bone,
May his duck never quack, and his goose turn quite black
And pull down the turf with his long yellow beak.
May scurvy and itch, not depart from the breech,
Of the monster that down our fair board he did take.
May his pipe never smoke, may his teapot be broke,
And to add to the joke may his kettle not boil,
May he lay in the bed 'till the moment he’s dead
May he always be fed on lob-scouse and fish oil,
May he swell with the gout, may his grinders fall out,
May he roar, bawl and shout, with the horrid toothache.
May his temples wear horns, and all his toes corns,
Of the monster that down our fair board he did take.
May his spade never dig, may his sow never pig,
Every nit on his head be as large as a snall,
May his house have no thatch and his door have no latch,
Nay his turkey not hatch, may the rats eat his meal,
May every old fairy fiom Cork to Dunleary,
Dip him in snug and easy in some pond or lake,
Where the eel and the trout may slime in the snout,
Of the monster that down our fair board he did take.
May his dog yelp and growl with hunger and cold,
May his wife always scold 'till his brain goes astray,
May the curse of each hag, that e’er carried a bag,
Alight on his nag till his beard it turns grey,
May monkeys still bite him, and man-apes affright him,
And everyone slight him asleep or awake,
May weasels still gnaw him, and jackdaws still claw him,
Of the monster that down our fair board he did take.
–
“it’s all real”
“I KNEW IT!!!”
O p a l C a t
www.opalcat.com
Opal, damn you’re good!
-Melin
Actually it’s the lyrics from an Irish song, Nell Flaherty’s Drake… but it seemed appropriate and didn’t need much alteration 
–
“it’s all real”
“I KNEW IT!!!”
O p a l C a t
www.opalcat.com
Over in Great Debates the question of the appropriate punishment for the hacker is being debated.
I want to paraphrase something someone else posted over there…
After he loses his right to a computer permanently, he should be held immobile and conscious, watching everything that is valuable to him be utterly destroyed, shredded into little pieces, and covered with raw sewage. Then he gets to clean up the mess.
I am not a vengeful person. But that sounds like making the punishment fit the crime.
I dunno. I think his punishment should be:
Work at a job where he has to do nothing. He must sit at a desk, and the only thing at his desk is a computer, which is set up to access a single web site. This cannot be modified. The programming and fire-walls are too strong for him to bypass.
However, this web site is a wonderful site where he can talk and debate and goof around with hundreds of intelligent, humorous, and insightful people. And so, because his job required him to do absolutely nothing- but requires him to sit at his desk for eight hours- he constantly interacts with that web site and becomes part of a beautiful Internet community.
Then, shut down the site for a week.
Then, the last day before the site comes up, let him know his contract has been cancelled, and he can no longer access this web site.
I’m still trying to figure out what I did in a past life to deserve said punishment. Sigh…
JMCJ
Give to Radiskull!
The person that hacked the board should first win the lottery. With their winnings they should buy themselves a tropical cruise. They should travel to the ship in the grandest limousine. They should take the cruise in good health and see nothing but sunshine and gentle breezes and fair weather, and have the most marvelous food they have ever experienced. After eating the greatest food and having the most wonderful time they should seat themselves on the toilet and have the most wonderful movement they have ever had in their lives. And at the very end of their movement, they should cross the equator and discover that their toilet is not anchored to the floor, and the wind should blow the ship back and forth and Back and Forth and BACK AND FORTH AND BACK AND FORTH AND BACKANDFORTHANDBACKANDFORTHANDBACKANDFORTHAND
BACKANDFORTHANDBACKANDFORTHANDBACKANDFORTHAND
BACKANDFORTHANDBACKANDFORTHANDBACKANDFORTHAND
BACKANDFORTHANDBACKANDFORTHANDBACKANDFORTHAND
BACKANDFORTHANDBACKANDFORTHANDBACKANDFORTHAND
BACKANDFORTHANDBACKANDFORTHANDBACKANDFORTHAND
BACKANDFORTHANDBACKANDFORTHANDBACKANDFORTHAND
BACKANDFORTHANDBACKANDFORTHANDBACKANDFORTHAND
BACKANDFORTHANDBACKANDFORTHANDBACKANDFORTHAND
BACKANDFORTHANDBACKANDFORTHANDBACKANDFORTHAND
BACKANDFORTHANDBACKANDFORTHANDBACKANDFORTHAND
BACKANDFORTHANDBACKANDFORTHANDBACKANDFORTHAND
BACKANDFORTHANDBACKANDFORTHANDBACKANDFORTHAND
BACKANDFORTHANDBACKANDFORTHANDBACKANDFORTH ACCROSS THE EQUATOR.
Now, that being said.
I would like to thank very much the people at the Chicago Reader who worked so hard to get this site back up. Surviving a hacker attack is not easy. I really appreciate your diligence, and your perserverance to get the board back for folks like us. Bless you.
This sig not Y2K compliant. Happy 1900.
(Note: I inserted line breaks in this post. -Lynn)
[Note: This message has been edited by Lynn Bodoni]
Sorry. I screwed up the scrolling. My bad.
This sig not Y2K compliant. Happy 1900.
Do they have any idea who did it? Could it be the same joker that removed the advertising to “prove a point.”
Bitch by Birth