Consider this: When a 17 year old boy has sex with a hot 25 year old math teacher, it’s the best day of his life. Up to that point, and forever after. Nothing will ever top that. So, everything from then on will be endless disappointment for him.
Do you really think it’s OK for her to ruin his life like that?
Teachers make you do it over and over till you get it right.
Which is precisely why it’s rape: Because underage kids are idiots, and can’t make rational decisions (including the decision to consent) concerning sex.
The women who do this have a host of psychological issues but still, pragmatically, teenage boys should be about the least satisfying partners a woman could find. Or maybe I’m wrong and these guys are the most cunning of linguists.
Ethically, morally, it’s obviously NOT right. Still, I remember wishing some of my teachers would ruin my life like that. Instead of the old-fashioned way, with a red pen and suggestions that I learn to love the smell of fried grease.
Nice catch MeanJoe.
I don’t think it implies that they have any sort of psychological issues.
As I understand it, the main attractions of such guys are 1) it’s very easy for these women to attract the exact guys they want, and 2) they are pretty much in control of the relationship.
These are pretty normal things for a person to want. Doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to act on, but not a psychological issue either.
Look at her picture. She could just walk into a bar for the same result. Somehow, I don’t think she has a shortage of guys of any age wanting to ride bikes with her.
She has put herself in a situation where, if the boy talks about this to anyone (and he will, starting the next day, and don’t make me tell the joke about the old Jewish guy going to confession), then there’s hell breaking loose. Who is in control of that relationship?
I don’t think it works like that. She walks into a bar she can get all sorts of guys, but those guys in the bar are not necessarily the guys she wants. She already knows these kids.
Well obviously long term it’s not a smart strategy on her part. I’m not advocating it, frankly. The issue is what the attraction is. And the attraction is that short term she’s in control. He will follow her lead.
ETA: one reason for her being in control is the maturity gap. But another reason is that what you yourself wrote earlier in Post #21. This woman is an attractive women to the world at large, but to a teenage boy in her class she’s an absolute goddess. Can’t compare it.
I’ve had female friends explain to me that when they were teenagers the prospect of making out with a cute adult male teacher meant, among other things, being with a sexually experienced person instead of a nervous person who didn’t know what to do. So sometimes they’d consider themselves lucky in the reciprocal situation.
Considerably less reciprocal was the overall social definition of sex as a commodity that males obtain from females: girls that age wer already tired of being pestered and drooled over, and to be put in a position where someone with more power than you was trying to corner you into providing sexual access was a real risk and creepy as hell. The male student isn’t in that same larger context.
The real problem with teachers (or any adults, really, but especially teachers or others in a power relationship) having sex with their students (/etc) is the increased power inequality, and the situation has to be stopped and the offenders prosecuted since otherwise you end up sending an institutional message that this is expected and condoned, that perhaps this is how you get ahead if you are a student and so on. Would you want your daughter to learn that kind of lesson?
It isn’t always directly horrible and destructive to the minor or subordinate participant — yes, sometimes they feel “lucky” — but it can be so to an extreme and it can make life creepy and awful to others simply for being in that context.
My high school math teacher was very friendly with the students. We loved him. Found out later he was sleeping with many of the girls. I used to baby sit for he and his wife. Ick.
She needed to give a trigger warning before class began.
Makes me think we should not put younger teachers together with older students.
I know, I know, there are plenty of teachers in their 30’s and 40’s that get busted for this, but putting a 25 year old in a class full of 16-18 year olds seems like a higher risk for this sort of thing.
same reason a man who has had multiple partners is a stud, but a woman who has had multiple partners is a slut.
Male teacher-female student? “Dangerous predator, string him up by his balls!”
Female teacher-male student? “Nice.”
Total nonsense. I know that the law calls it rape in this particular context; but as various people have pointed out over the years, “The law is an ass.” If it were REALLY rape, then no jurisdiction anywhere in the nation would set an age of consent under 18.
Also, if you wish to be consistent on this point, then you must also oppose letting minors drive cars. After all, you claim that they can’t make rational decisions. If you want somebody who can’t make rational decisions in charge of a powerful, deadly object, then you’re a blithering idiot.
And if the teacher were 30 years old and the student 25, that would make it somehow more ethical?
Concerning possible mental issues and reasons for doing this sort of thing, I wonder if risk-taking behavior comes into it at all? I may be barking totally up the wrong tree here. But as I said, look at her picture. She can have sex with mostly anyone, whenever she feels like it. But maybe there’s no thrill in that. This situation with the students, though? Now there’s danger. Now there’s risk. Now there’s drama.
Same reason why some people choose to put on a parachute, and jump out of a perfectly functional airplane, just for kicks. Well, except that this was more like jumping without the parachute. Or at least only wearing a flimsy one, full of holes.
Age of consent in NYS is 17. Most of her students were of age. The problem is not the age as such, but the power differential between the parties. The teacher is in such a position that she can exert a lot of influence on her students that any consent cannot really be freely given.
I think its a criminal action. I think the perpetrator must be punished to the fullest extent of law. And when I was 17 and if such a pretty teacher had propositioned me, I would have clicked my heels, thanked the Lord and gone for it.
Not speaking for Chronos, but I think there’s rational, and then there’s sensible. Not necessarily the same thing, exactly. If you’re a horny 17 year old boy, it’s not an irrational decision to bonk a hot 25 year old math teacher. Certainly not if she’s ready and willing, and actively hitting on you. It makes perfect sense. That kid isn’t an idiot, as such. There’s nothing wrong with his brain. An idiot would have ignored the lady, and instead shagged the potted plant next to her.
So, we’re not keeping the teacher’s paws away from the students, and vice-versa, because the kids are making bad decisions. They’re making great decisions, when you think about it. And it’s pretty much inevitable that they’ll make them. It’s just that they’re still the wrong decisions.
Plus, you know, the lady is an adult, and his teacher. How is he supposed to understand that she’s behaving even less maturely than he is? Aren’t kids supposed to take their cues from their elders? Take your driving example. This is like having a driving instructor effectively telling you to drive your car off a cliff, rather than staying on the road. Presumably because it’s more fun that way, and it’ll be fine, promise, because this car can actually fly.
This kind of situation is always a wasp’s nest of underlying sexist assumptions and double standards, isn’t it? Frankly, I’m probably guilty of a few myself. And discussing it can be like sticking your dick into that nest. Personally, I kind of stopped sticking my dick into wasp’s nests at age 17. I learned the hard way. But, still…
For men, having sex is always the best thing ever. For women, having sex is always the worst thing ever.
Men always want sex (unless there’s something wrong with their heads). Women never want sex (unless there’s something wrong with their heads).
A man who has sex has won. A woman who has sex has lost.
And so forth.