Hey there, I’ve been asked to present a tiny award at some school function. I’m supposed to make a pun/joke about eyes, then announce who won Mr Eyes. Any ideas?
The eyes have it.
I only have eyes for _____.
Eyes not supposed to tell you this…
Eye yi yi.
Eye have a secret.
Eye there!
…thanks, I’ll be here all week. Try the veal!
Those are cornea than anything I can come up with.
I’d prefer to talk about glass eyes–but then, I’m a fan of vitreous humor.
Are there any pupils at the school function?
Iris going to say that, but you beat me to it.
OP: Introduce yourself as Zonule of Zinn.
I have LOVED that phrase since I found it in my model of the human eye at about 8.
Welcome to the SDMB, chrizellerhymeswithalotofwords. We put different kinds of discussions in different forums, and Cafe Society is for the arts. Since puns, alas, are not considered an art form, I’m moving this to MPSIMS, our miscellaneous forum.
I think it lens itself well to Cafe Society standards. You should take a more far-sighted view of things.
I would dispute that. 
Did you hear about the teacher who was cross-eyed? She couldn’t keep her pupils straight.
Me, I have my father’s eyes. [Opens box containing a set of eyeballs.] See? 
Youse guys aint retina head.
…but you’ve likely already heard about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw.
No, what happened to him?
He wasn’t blind after all. His hat was just too big.
Eye see what you did there.
All these puns are cornea.
Let’s stop making a spectacle out of ourselves.
We live in an era of social awareness. Many pupils are aware of issues of glass distinction.
Did you hear about the eyelid that was caught stealing in Saudi Arabia? It got fifty lashes.
Iris just going to say that!
–Rod Zenkoenz
I cannot aqueous to humor this low.