a question for parents

In My Humble Opinion
1

IANAP (I am not a parent) and although I don’t have any authority on the matter, I have a personal pet peeve, which I will state after this introduction. It is mundane, and possibly pointless, but I’d like to hear some opinions on the subject. I’m also wondering if anyone has the same pet peeve, especially those of you whom are parents. This may be a sensitive topic to some viewers. The opinions expressed herein, are merely that, opinions.

My pet peeve is: Children putting things into their own mouths that don’t belong in their mouths, infants especially.

IMHO: Things that DO belong in an infant’s/toddler’s mouth are: bottles, pacifiers, teething objects, food, and childrens’ eating utensils.

IMHO: Things that DON’T belong in an infant’s/toddler’s mouth are… well almost anything that is not listed above.

Does anyone agree with this?

I want to say, that if you’re a parent, and you let them stick whatever he/she wants to in their mouths, I’m NOT gonna tell you, “Hey make him/her stop that!” (unless of course its broken glass, razor blades, chemicals, electric wire, etc you get the idea) It’s your prerogative to decide what does, and does not, go into your own child’s mouth. I’m not looking for a debate war here. I just am curious as to your opinions on this matter.

Personally, when and if, I ever become a parent, I highly doubt that I will allow my child to become a “pac-man” gobbling everything his/her hands touches. This is a preference, not a preaching. You have every right to decide what your own kid does, and does not do.

Would you consider it a “negative” thing, to NOT allow a child to explore every non-dangerous thing he/she can shove in his/her own mouth?

Personally, I don’t think it would be negative or cruel in any way.

I also feel it’s probably not very sanitary for a kid to be shoving foreign objects in their mouth. For example: Say I am shopping, with my infant or toddler in the cart, and the child has shoved (name any item here) from the cart into their mouth. Ummm, I don’t know where that spatula has been, or who has done what with it. I certainly wouldn’t want my kid sucking on stuff I don’t know where it has been.

Even if I did know where what has been and who has been doing what with it, I still wouldn’t be too fond of the idea of jr. chowing away at it, even in our own home. Now I’m going to go out on a fragile limb here, and say that I’d probably do my best to train my own child to refrain from munching on their own body parts as well. I don’t see any point in my child having his fist in his mouth nearly up to the elbow. I certainly wouldn’t punish the child for such action (unless the object was dangerous or they are old enough to know better) I would simply say a stern “No” and gently remove whatever he has in his mouth, and keep doing so as needed, no matter how redundant this may become.

Again, IANAP! I am merely hypothesizing how I would handle this situation, IF I were a parent.

One last time time: I am not telling you what to do with your own kid(s)!!

So, How do you people feel about kids shoving stuff in their mouths?

2

I am also NAP, but I do know that stimulaiton is a very important part of how a baby’s brain develops: they explore the world because they need too, and babies who don’t get a chance to explore the world end up brain damaged. Remember, the brain is still laying down neural pathways at this point, and it needs data to work with. Now, one of the ways kids explore the world is with their mouths. I think it’s entirely reasonable to assume that severly limiting the amout of stimulation they experience through their mouths is possibly a bad idea. I don’t see letting your child suck on whatever comes along, but I think letting them explore whier own world in the way that is instictive to them is a good idea.

Furthermore, most of the real serious mouth exploration happens before babies are old enough to respond to saying "a stern “No” and gently remove whatever he has in his mouth, and keep doing so as needed, no matter how redundant this may become. " The serious toes-in-mouth behavior seems to kick in around 4-8 months. It seems to me that there is at least some chance that constantly drawing attention to and stoping this very normal and apparently instictive behavoir would have adverse developmental effects, and there don’t seem to be any adverse effects to leaving it alone. So why bother?

3

MSK, I pity the children you may have someday.

I get the impression your peeve is aesthetically based - for lack of a better description - in that you just don’t like the way it looks when, say, a baby gnaws on the TV remote or anything else that isn’t edible.

Most new parents learn quickly which issues are important to spend their finite energy dealing with and which are not worth pursuing.

IMO, babies putting harmless objects in their mouths is clearly the latter.

4

Speaking for both of us parents in the house, I don’t recall ever having to remove anything seriously weird from the mouths of our two young children. It just wasn’t an issue–other things were and still are, but not that. I don’t even think it is an issue with 90% of our friends’ babies either.

Manda Jo is correct, mouth stimulation is critical to babies learning about the world and there isn’t much you can do about it besides isolating them from that world. That’s no fun.

Just about all babies put toys and the like into their mouths. If you become a parent you will be vigilant about both little stuff that they could choke on, and obvously strange or rude items, but I bet you won’t have the energy to monitor the thousand other items.

So, relax. The in-the-mouth phase only lasts a few months anyway and you will have far more challenging stuff to worry about.

5

Parent of a 21 month old. Yep, the little boogers will try just about anything in their mouths. Infants are very tactile, and the mouth is pretty good for that sort of thing.

Those little ones that suck on pacifiers will probably put less experimental stuff in their mouths.

Just wait till the kids start to feed themselves. They really think nothing of eating off the floor or any other convenient surface.

Really, after a very short time, it doesn’t even phase you any longer. Part of the joys of parenthood. :slight_smile: If you everget in the family way, I would recommend that you write down all sorts of thoughts you have on what you will and will not do before the birth. Then check your notebook after about two years. You will probably laugh your ass off at how silly things seemed before and after.

6

Depends on the age of the child, of course. Infants and even toddlers put damn near everything in their mouths, but that’s normal. It may even be a survival instinct. It also helps relieve the discomfort of teething.

Older children (and I’m talking grade school age) often still put things in their mouths. Some people are just more oral than others.

While I wouldn’t want a kid picking stuff up off the street, or the floor of a bus station, and putting it in his mouth, I wouldn’t necessarily discourage them from putting their own toys in their mouths, providing it wasn’t a choking hazard.

They’ll either grow out of it, or one of their peers may tease them about it, and they’ll decide to break themselves of the habit.

I have two kids, a teen and a second-grader. Trust me, the change in attitude about what’s “good” for them changes a lot in the intervening years. We went from eternal vigilance to “well, it’s normal for kids to eat dirt” with remarkable ease.

7

Oh, man, that’s the truth.

This isn’t a bad question at all. No, babies shouldn’t put just anything in their mouths. However, when they are teething, they will chew on anything they can get in their hands to relieve the pressure. It’s a normal part of child development.

I am thinking that (not to sound snippy, really) if ya don’t have a kid, it’s hard to know where parents are coming from when they let kids stick weird stuff in their mouths. You definitely do choose your battles. The only things I wonder when my baby chews on odd objects are: will he choke on it? Is it covered in germs?

8

It’s sort of like not-yet-parents who really truly believe that when they have children, they won’t talk about poopy diapers, or use babytalk, or allow their kiddos to wear clothes that don’t match just because “that’s what she picked out.”
I don’t think the OP means any harm, really…it’s just a matter of perspective, and if you haven’t had kids, you can’t really understand how impossible the proposition is. Keep my baby from putting stuff in her mouth? Heh. Sure, I’ll do that while I’m also keeping her from crying and playing with her hair and clinging to my leg.
You learn to notice–without even being in the same room sometimes!–if the object going into the mouth is: a. small enough to choke on; b. disgusting enough to make child or parent ill; or c. something that belongs to a sibling and is gonna be the cause of turmoil, grief, and sibling rivalry. Then you deal with it accordingly.
Kids are great. You just have to sit back, relax, and enjoy them. Even the icky parts. :smiley:
regards
karol

9

IANAP, but I am a big sister. (older by eight years and a major caretaker for the two younders, so I am a semi parent.)

You have to pick your battles. Body part chewing is one of those that may get lost in the shuffle. Are they not eating their own or the cat’s fecal matter? Oh, good, its just thier feet, non toxic, fairly clean, and not going to choke on it…well not choke on it much anyway. (I baby sat a darling little girl who would choke herself on her fist. Not choke and die choking, but choke and cough, cough, cough choke.)

So, no I wouldn’t train a kid not to put things in their mouths. I watch what they put in there, but munching on the TV remote isn’t going to kill them and thier happy little brains will then understand the texture and weight of the remote.

I wonder at parents who limit their kids in these ways. I talked to a mother the other day who doesn’t let her child do “crafts” (ie. paint, coloring, scissors…) She didn’t like crafts and wasn’t very crafty herself, she explained, so she didn’t let her daughter color. She also disapproved of the mess. My opinion was pity for the girl. Children need a wide varity of exploration in their world. Parents should make this exploration safe, not take it away in the name of safety.

10

Personally, I think that this attitude is silly. This culture is entirely too obsessed with “germs” and cleanliness. I’m not saying we should feed our kids raw sewage, but a little stimulus to the immune system probably makes them stronger in the end.

Even though this isn’t GD, I did a quick Google search and came across the “hygiene hypothesis” . As far as anecdotal experience goes–I used to spend summers on my grandparents’ farm, and was no doubt exposed to all sorts of “unsanitary” things. I don’t have allergies, though my little brother (who didn’t do that), does.

11

I don’t even think it’s possible to “train” a baby to not put things in their mouth. It’s as much of a natural thing to them as eating.

~Tracie
(Mom of Kevin 10, Melissa 6, Casey 3, and Cody 1)

12

I am the parent of a 4 1/2 and 2 1/2 year old… girl and boy respectively. As long as my kids aren’t picking up trash off the street and putting it in their mouth I don’t get too bent out of shape. My daughter is old enough now that she doesn’t put stuff in her mouth like she used to and my son is starting to outgrow it too.

I don’t let him chew on any of the t.v. remotes or anything because those aren’t toys and they’re not allowed to touch them at all. The only kinds of objects that really worry me are the small ones that he can choke on such as money or marbles. My cousins son swallowed a nickel last year. He was with his grandparents at the time and thank goodness they were close to a hospital when it happened because the nickel lodged in his windpipe and he couldn’t breathe. The surgery to remove the nickel was over $5,000. Had they arrived at the hospital any later then they did he’d probably be dead right now. That’s the kind fo shit that worries me!

13

parent of a six-month old, here! around our house, we bastardize a quote from Fogey (TVFunhouse):

“Everything goes in the mouth!”

like manda jo sez, thats how they learn. i let the boy put anything he can grab into the mouth, except real dirty stuff, dangerous chemicals, remote controls and my toes (those fall under “real dirty stuff”).

his favorite is the green bear. makes his gums feel good.

by the way, its his gums that make that squeaking sound, not the toys. i rubbed his gums with my finger, and they went “squeak, squeak”. wierd!

14

IANFLEMMING (I Am Not For Letting Enfants Mush Mouth Insanely Nasty Gunk) but I will did let my child explore this new and exciting world in her completely natural way - by mouthing damn near everything this side of a cat terd. It’s their way. They’re curious and it’s an excellent means by which to get a sense of the physical world. The important thing is to child-proof their environment beforehand of any objectionable items they might come in contact with… nose hair clippers, napalm, snot rags and the like, but after that she was free to get a feel for her environment in the manner that suited her best. Guess what? It made her bright as hell.

15

That’s just the way kids are; the only thing a parent can do is watch and make sure nothing nasty gets in the little tyke’s mouth.

[experienced parent voice]
When your first kid drops the pacifier on the floor, you pick it up, boil it, dry it, and give it back to the kid.
When your second kid drops the pacifier on the floor, you pick it up, wipe it on your sleeve, and give it back to the kid.
When your third kid drops the pacifier on the floor, you pick it up and give it right back to the kid.
[/experienced parent voice]
:wink:

16

I thought when your third kid dropped the pacifier you picked it up, licked it off yourself and gave it back to the kid. :slight_smile:

17

Yeah, there isn’t really any way to keep your kid from putting things in her mouth. Not practical, and once you realize that it’s important for her development and you’re going to have to reprimand her all the time, not very loving either. I can see where MSK is coming from, but it won’t work.

I’m very careful to keep small change and really filthy things out of her reach. But I think that kids who are too protected from germs and dirt are not getting any favors done for them. Some dirt is healthy and normal. Relax, enjoy the ride, and only worry about important things.

18

Some more questions:

Why the mouth? According to everyone’s info above, it would almost imply (in a figuratively speaking way) that infants and toddlers have no other means of bodily sensation, other than orally. This, of course, is an absurd statement.

Why can’t an infant explore just as well without shoving stuff in his mouth? Touching with the hands means nothing? Give the kid a mini-basketball. You mean to tell me, he can not feel the beaded surface with his hands, equally as well as he can with his mouth? I don’t buy it.

I’m going to reiterate a few things:

Dangerous / poisonous objects are a given no-no.
Potential choking hazards are a given no-no.
Filthy things are a given no-no. (e.g. poo, etc)

I am happy to see that at least one person agrees with the “no remote controls” rule. They aren’t toys. IMHO, Things that aren’t toys shouldnt be used as toys.

I admit, that part of my H.O. on the this whole issue, is aesthetically grounded. There is more to than that, though, which I tried to make clear. I guess I wasn’t clear enough…

If the child wants to gnaw on his own toys, that’s not really a major issue. True that I may not like to look at it, but it’s not likely going to hurt him or me. The issue is more about what items a child needs and doesn’t need to be gnawing on. So, for example, let’s say the rugrat is crawling around the room, and CHOMP, decides to start chewing on the armrest of the recliner. Does him chewing on the recliner do him any actual good? Is it critically vital to his existence that he chews on the recliner? The chair is not food, so no, he isn’t going to starve to death if he can’t eat the chair.

I never said exploration was uneccesary. It’s not so much the exploration itself that bothers me, as it is what it is he is exploring. I have to question several things though:

Is there any scientific evidence to prove that disallowing exploration via the mouth, would cause retardation, brain damage, storke, injury, etc? It seems quite unlikely, but if you have anything to offer on that feel free to link.

I will say this FWIW: I agree with the one person who said it was wrong to not allow the child to develop motor and creative skills. Coloring mom’s newly hung wallpaper with crayons is a no no. Coloring where the kid is supposed to color, is something else entirely. Using that example, is more of where I am going with the “no-stuff-in-the-mouth” rule. What belongs, does; what doesn’t belong, doesn’t.

My apologies if anyone has been agitated by this subject. I am not kid-bashing here. I am just trying understand and see other points of view on the topic.

19

Heh. Just a note to prospective parents…an uncovered garbage can is at just about the perfect height for a toddler buffet.

20

I think you’re out of your mind. Nothing wrong with having an opinion, but such an uninformed one! Argh!

Babies and toddlers are very oral beings. They just are. Long before they have gross or fine motor control, they have very coordinated mouths. That’s why they explore things by mouth.

And dirt ain’t bad. There are some learned folk who believe a certain amount of dirt is GOOD for a child. It builds immunity and they may even think that certain dirt exposure is helpful to asthma sufferers.

As for carefully delineating what your child mouths, most parents I know pick their battles and do so wisely. Your kid will not be pre-programmed to only chew on things with the Playkool or Fisher-Price logo. It’s a big world out there, and if you want to spend your time continually reminding your child that only a few select things in it are to be placed in the mouth, I think you’re going to exhaust yourself. You’ll also probably raise a kid who can’t figure out why s/he is constantly being corrected for miniscule, normal things. Hello, neurosis. The best you can do is put things out of reach that you truly don’t want them to chew on.

My kid wasn’t a big mouther, but he was fairly oral in other ways. Loved his pacificer, nursed for 13 months. We’ve never had to much worry about him eating bad things, although I did have to place one call to the poison control center since he got more curious about tastes as a toddler and tried some berries from a poisonous bush.

Please, before you have children, do some reading about child development and child health. We all could stand to learn a little more, but you sound like you’re really coming at this with little more than personal objections.