Ladies, say you saw an attractive man walking down the street holding a bunch of flowers - would you find them more attractive because it means they’re a romantic and caring partner, or find them less attractive because it means they’re probably already in a relationship? Or something else entirely?
I’d think, “Aww, how nice. Somebody’s getting flowers.” It wouldn’t affect my opinion about his attractiveness in any way.
I don’t really like (cut) flowers. So…mildly less attractive because he’s being associated with something I don’t care about (that pop culture says I should)
This.
Unless he is smiling and obviously content I see him as less attractive, and possibly manipulative. My cynical view courtesy a job managing a floral shop for several years. When I see a man with flowers I relate it to my experience there. In order of most likely scenarios: the obligatory celebration of a romantic milestone, obligatory honor of mom’s birthday, an attempt to woo a new partner, cheating (the flowers are for the third party), an apology, or gay and hosting or attending a stylish get together.
Irrelevant unless he’s carrying them in such a way as to make it hard to cross paths with him. And if it’s one of the two florists in my mother’s street or the one in mine, then he’s doing his job.
If he was attractive (and if I was single&interested) I’d use it as an excuse to shamelessly flirt - “Awwww, someone’s wife’s getting flowers tonight, how nice!”
And if he replied that he wasn’t married, I’d take it from there 
I would think … this person is doing something to make someone feel better … you never know what someone is going through … I think being kind is very sexy!
pretty much this
Same here. I’m surprised at Clee being so cynical about it! My SO buys me flowers sometimes. Not on holidays…he buys me flowers because I get down towards the end of wintertime and he knows I love them because they remind me spring is coming.
Sometimes men buy you flowers just because they love you.
Admittedly. The pretty shop girls were constantly hit on by men purchasing flowers for significant others, and the obviously flaming designer was hit on daily by married men, too. I was even picked up a few times and I neglected my appearance in favor of running a busy shop. I probably should have kept my POV to myself for the purposes of this survey, surely I’m the outlier.
I don’t thnk so. I sometimes buy my wife flowers because I love her, and I always ask myself if she is going to question why I’m buying her flowers. Maybe I am as cynical as you. The relationship between flowers and men who are ‘in the doghouse’ is strong so when I see a guy with flowers I wonder what he did wrong.
Heh, me too. As a matter of fact, when I’m at the grocery store, it takes great restraint to NOT ask ‘What did you do?’ when the guy in front of me has flowers.
Good answer. If he was already attractive to me it might turn it up a notch, but wouldn’t change a “not interested” to “interested” just on that.
Whew, I’m glad I’m not the only cold heart here. From what I observed at the floral shop, women truly enjoy receiving flowers at work because it shows others they are loved, cherished, and valued by their significant others. That’s a good thing, a bonding thing, as we all like feeling appreciated.
But male customers were usually talkative, asked for advice and such. “I did X, how much money do I have to spend to fix it.” “I really like this girl and want to be exclusive, what flowers say I want you all to myself” or “I’m in the doghouse, help me out here” Men generally bought flowers in an attempt to persuade someone to do something (sex or a date) out of a sense of duty for a Hallmark holiday, or because they need to offset the damage from hateful words or a boys’ night out. It was only the rarest of customer who bought flowers for a wife as a thank you or spontaneous gesture of affection. Those were the best, those men who would confess feelings of love and affection for a spouse while blind to the charms of the beautiful girls who were ringing them up.
Gay dude checking in…
Slightly off topic, but in Germany it is quite normal to buy flowers for most major occasions (birthdays/anniversaries/parties/invited to dinner, etc.) and not only for the women, it is not considered weird to bring flowers to a dude having a birthday party or whatever - although a bottle of wine along with it would be appropriate. They will also buy flowers just because - many (men and women) simply like to have them for the weekend in a vase in the living room or whatever, even if they don’t expect company. This might be why you can find a flower shop on practically every corner in Germany.
BTW, this European tradition seems to hold true here - as I have noticed at my local Trader Joe’s. I think a vast majority of their customers must have been to/lived in Europe or other countries as I have never noticed so many people buying flowers in ANY other supermarket as I do in Trader Joe’s. Of course, TJ’s has a great selection at low prices, so that could be a factor…
One thing I quickly learned over in Germany is how to hold and transport flowers from flower shop to destination. Do NOT hold the flowers UP (as we do in the USA), but hold them upside down. Supposedly keeps the water in the stems and the flowers fresher until you get to where you are going, and, as one German politely pointed out when seeing me carrying them American style, upright and ready to present, “you won’t look like a five year old kid proudly walking down the street to bring flowers to grandma.”
I don’t think you’re the outlier at all. I think there are a bunch of factors contributing here:
- Confirmation bias. Of course you are going to remember the boors who hit on you or your coworkers whilst buying flowers for someone, or the ones that talked about their girls with love. What you don’t remember is all of the men who just bought flowers and never talked about it. I know my SO and he would never engage in such a conversation. If someone asked him, “Are those for your wife? Are you in the doghouse, HAH HAH HAH?” he’d probably just smile and not respond, or respond minimally. Otherwise he wouldn’t say a thing. So you’d never really know why he was buying the flowers.
- You get more of the fuckups. I am happy with flowers no matter what. Often my SO will just pick up a small bouquet from the grocery store, since he was there anyway, instead of going specifically to a florist. But a man who made a major mistake might go to a florist.
- Simple factors. The men who are willing to flirt with florist workers while they buy flowers are the same ones who fuck up a lot with their SOs.
I am absolutely sure what you say happens, and happens a lot…I just think you hear about the worst of it, and it makes you jaded. I can’t blame you!
+1
As others have said: this. I probably wouldn’t think any further about it.
Early in our marriage my husband brought home flowers after we fought. I asked him to not do that again- if he was wrong an apology was all that was needed. If an apology was needed, flowers to “smooth my feelings” is insulting.
But he sends me flowers now again just because and that I like very much.