Let me stress I have no dog in this fight- no part of my issue with this applies to me in any way- I’m not (that) lonely, not jealous, etc. Mainly I just am big on other people’s feelings.
Saying that- what’s the mentality of sending flowers to your main squeeze at her job, as opposed to bringing them home after work? Exceptions of course if you’re out of town, or are unable to get to a florist, something like that.
But why go to a florist and have them send flowers to the job? Is it to make all the women in the office jealous? I don’t get what purpose this serves, other than to show people what a great loving guy you are, and all it accomplishes is making the lonely girls or girls with asshole mates pissed. That to me is either very narcissitic or very evil. Why does everyone need to know what a great guy you are? It’s not like the flowers benefit anyone else, and they’re a distraction having fifty people come up and fake admire them. Not to mention the logisitics of how your beloved is going to huge vase filled with water and flowers home in the car- in the drink holder? You wouldn’t send a regular present to the job, why fucking flowers? Why not just bring them home with you?
And yes, I know maybe one person tops will agree with this, but it just annoys the hell out of me. Am I missing something?
I don’t give my wife flowers to show her what a great guy I am. I give them to her (always by surprise) because I know they will make her happy.
I’ve never done it at her work place (for practical reasons), but if I could give her a moment of uplift at work, why wouldn’t I want to? It has nothing to do with making other people feel jealous or inadequate (though that sure sounds like some fine projecting there). It has to do with making her feel good.
And if there’s a date later that night, then it’s called FOREPLAY. Flowers at the beginning of a date are nice as a gesture or accessory. Flowers hours before speak of greater pleasure and enjoyment to come.
:rolleyes: Usually, nobody brings home flowers the same day. They keep them on the desk (often as a nice reminder of the date the night before) until the flowers eventually die. Then, you bring the vase home empty. What’s so hard to understand about that?
The reason to send them to her job is that it allows other people to see her get flowers. Her coworkers can squee over them and let her feel like she’s lucky. It gives her a little glow of positive attention and brightens her day while she’s there.
I’m pretty sure when my husband has sent me flowers at work, he’s not had anybody else in the office in mind.
In fact, I’m 100% sure that if he’s sent me flowers at work it means I’ve been having a bad day (and told him so) and he’s wanted to surprise me with something nice, that will help me get through the rest of the day, because it’s a visual reminder of how much he loves me. If he waited until I got home, I’d still have had a shitty day and probably be in a real funk when I got home. By getting them to me at work, it puts a smile on my face and makes me remember that the day isn’t so bad, because the man who loves me will be waiting for me at home (disclaimer, this applied more when my soul was being sucked at a horrible call centre job. Now I’m happier with my general work situation - ie, I’m working somewhere else now, it’s not as applicable).
He doesn’t do it every day, in fact, I think he’s done it about once or twice in the three years that we’ve been married. But it’s just a nice gesture, and sometimes you do that for people you love.
It’s not about you, it’s about her - always. Getting something at work tells her you care enough to have them sent, that you are sensitive and that you know all of her collegues will “Ohhh and Ahhh” over flowers being delivered. That’s a perk too.
It’s almost always a good idea to give them hours before while she is at work…I can’t think of many reasons why that would ever be a bad thing…
I’m not saying I’ve never bought a boquet in my day. But I always brought them home, out of respect for any old maids at the job. My guess is a few of the others oohing and aahing are a bit jealous in those situations. It could make someone else feel bad unncessarily. Sure an old maid cold feel jealous anytime she goes to Kroger and sees a couple holding hands, but you don’t need to create such situations unncessarily.
The OP reminded me of a somewhat amusing incident - in high school, there was a girl I knew who worked as a sort of teen prostitute (as in she didn’t stand on street corners or anything, but she met her guys - they were usually over 30 or so - through the internet, and they would give her a monthly “allowance” for the pleasure of her company). Once her latest sugar daddy sent her fifty roses - to our classroom. Talk about brazen.
First time my boyfriend gave me flowers, I took a few from the bunch and brought them to my desk at school, in a soda-bottle vase. I spend a lot of time at my desk, it’s nice to have some fresh flowers to look at, especially knowing that they were a gift.
I share an office with other grad students, at the time there were only two other girls in the room and I’m pretty sure they didn’t give a rat’s ass about who I was dating. But if I knew one of them was single and in the middle of some bad luck, then I would keep quiet about where the flowers came from.
Of course, just because someone has never been married, or is presently single doesn’t mean that that sending their co-worker flowers at work will inspire ill will, jealousy and bitterness. Many women, whether presently single or not, can enjoy others good fortune with cheer.
And why worry about the “old maids” and not the unhappily married, or those like my mom who are happily married but extremely unlikely to ever recieve flowers that don’t have roots on them from their signficant others? (Note: while my mother does not recieve flowers from my father, she is perfectly able to enjoy other people’s good fortune. Any envy she feels is mild, and generally balanced by my dad’s willingness to eat whatever she puts in front of him, and wash the dishes afterward).
I got my wife monthly roses sent to her workplace for six months as a birthday present. It brightens her day when she needs it: at work. She doesn’t need day-brightening at home, not that she would object them being there. At work, flowers sitting on the desk is like a picture of a loved one.
Don’t underestimate the impact of co-workers witnessing the show of love. It’s not the entire point, but she get’s a boost when a co-worker sees the flowers and says how much her man must love her. There’s probably some who are jealous, and it’s a ego booster to know that someone is jealous of you.
I think there’s an aspect of sending flowers that just makes it nicer. Flowers you bring home from work could’ve been an afterthought or get crushed in the car/on the train/wherever, and flowers sent to the house while you’re both there just seem awkward, because you’re there to see her getting the gift, but you aren’t giving it to her yourself.
At work, she gets all the excitement of getting a package, the knowledge that you’re thinking of her when you aren’t in her presence, and a lift that will carry her through her workday until she sees you that evening. I’ve never been a big flowers-person, but thinking about it, it seems like the perfect thing to get for a woman you’ll be seeing later.
It would also never even occur to me that sending flowers would make co-workers jealous. Weird.