I basically agree with you, but I think this is where it gets tricky. I’m afraid you would be constantly watching for things like you mention, and while every child has some struggles growing up, you might be inclined to attribute any problems to the molestation, whether they’re related or not.
I personally don’t think I would tell, assuming the child was under two years old. If later it was obvious he or she was remembering something, we would talk about it, but unless it was clear, I probably wouldn’t.