A sad little kid who doesn't understand why he had a crappy day

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Yesterday, we took the boys to a nearby playground. The baby napped in the shade, while my three-year-old was having the time of his life, climbing and swinging, and he finally got brave enough to go down the big curly slide all by himself.

This playground is across the street from several group homes for mentally disabled kids. I know some of the ladies who take care of these kids, just from casual chats at the local convenience store. Most of these kids are severely disabled. Some are unable to talk or communicate in any way; some are unable to dress or feed themselves. I never know whether to try to interact with the kids or not, so I usually just smile and say hi.

Two of the ladies who take care of the kids brought a couple of teenaged boys to the playground while we were there. My son doesn’t yet understand why these kids don’t talk to him or play with him like other kids do, so he’s naturally curious about them. One kid, maybe 14 or 15, took off his shoes and was throwing them at people. Then he started spitting on people from the top of the slide. (I don’t know why the lady supervising him didn’t do anything; perhaps she was busy with one of the other kids at the moment.) Then he shoved my kid off the bottom of the slide. So I quietly told my son it was the big kids’ turn to use the playground, and we’d go home and have some juice. Of course, he didn’t understand and pitched a freaking tantrum.

I have no idea how to explain to a three-year-old that some kids have disabilities, or that some of these kids might accidentally hurt him without meaning to or even realizing it. I know that other kid wasn’t being malicious, but I still can’t risk my kid’s safety when a bigger kid is throwing things and shoving him. Yet, I don’t want him to be afraid of people who have disabilities, and I want him to understand that they’re kids too, and need fun and friends and play time just like he does.

So after we got home, I let my kid play in the fenced-in backyard while I started dinner. I can see him from the kitchen window and the back door, and he can’t go more than 15 feet away. I noticed a little girl (maybe 6 or so) from the apartments behind us was tossing a ball back and forth over the fence with my son. Cool, he has a little playmate.

She vanished for a few minutes, then returned and motioned to my son to come up close to the fence. From behind her she produced an empty beer bottle, and started smashing it against some rocks, less than a foot from my son. I bolted out the back door and told him it was time to come inside. This time, at least I could explain to him that the little girl shouldn’t have played with a glass bottle, because those can break and cut people, so he had to come inside so he wouldn’t get hurt.

So then I had a sniffling little kid who just wanted to play with his ball and his truck outside, and mess of broken glass to clean up in the backyard. He didn’t understand why we had to come home early from the playground, and he didn’t really understand why he couldn’t even play in his own backyard.

Sometimes it must really suck being three. :frowning:

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The upshot is that he had probably forgotten all about it by the next day. Littl’uns are resilient like that.

3

I’ve spent too many years working with people with disabilities, I guess. My first reaction was to want to jump that lady who was supposed to be watching the kid who was spitting, shoving and throwing his shoes. She is, or should be, aware of his behaviors and should have been watching him more closely. Again, I spend too much time lecturing staff about this stuff.

MissGypsy sorry your little guy had such a crappy day. May today be his best ever, just to make up for it.

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Although I feel pity for challenged kids and those that must care for them, I also have a commitment to my children. I have two, one is 11 and he understands, but the other is only three and he obviously does not. I simply explain that some people are different and that we have to accept that. We cannot “play” with everyone. They, like the other poster stated, are resillient. It is probably a distant memory until the situation arises again, when hopefully they will remember the lesson we tought them initially.

5

Some days are like that, even in Australia.

So sayeth the wisdom of the greatest book ever written: Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

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Explain it just like that. All people are different, some more noticeably so. It doesn’t make them bad kids, but they need to be careful if they’re playing with or near someone like that and that other person does something wrong, because they might not understand that it’s wrong or dangerous. At three he probably won’t understand, but you’ll get the chance to repeat it and as he gets older it will make sense to him.
As for the girl with the broken bottle, I hope that you stopped her and explained to her that what she did was wrong and dangerous, so that she didn’t hurt herself.