Reading through the “Caricaturist presents himself” thread (now closed, so I won’t link to it) got me thinking about the appropriateness of SDMB members posting SPAM, particularly for promoting themselves or their wares via external hyperlinks to personal web sites or web stores. When sprinkled amongst the current SDMB forums, they do strike one as being rather crass, unnerving and pretentious, not unlike striking the F-natural key for the third note, second bar of Rachmaninov’s Prelude op. 23 no. 7 in C minor, instead of F-sharp—a faux pas we’ve all been guilty of from time to time, I’m sure.
But, what if SDMB member Spam could be corralled and controlled in such a manner that it no longer polluted our beloved, often highfalutin forums, such as the BBQ Pit? What if it had its very own venue? Well, then it would no longer be perceived as a “musical clunker”; in fact, it may even come to be appreciated as something of value—both monetary and entertainment-wise.
The SDMB is a community of caring, charitable virtual people with above average intelligence. I believe some of you may even have the wherewithal to score high on the Turing test. We’ve come to trust one another enough to share our ideas, our interpersonal relational dynamics, our recipes, our hygiene problems and aberrant sexual peccadilloes…isn’t it time to take the next step and share our web store wholesale/retail products with one another? On the one hand, it has the potential to give a helping hand to honest, hard-working artists like the OP in the aforementioned thread; on the other, bigger, more important hand, it has the potential to open a new revenue stream for people like me and enrich the lives of people like you who buy my stuff.
As many of you have probably surmised, I am an artist—a creator of fine art. *Guilty as charged *:o. My “canvas”, porcelain thimbles; my “color palette”, the blood of virgin hamsters; my “brush”, the whiskers of virgin hamsters; my “artistic theme”, ribald 19th century Parisian Brothel depictions; my “muse”, speaks to me only when I don’t dose my Thorazine properly.
So, the question is, how can we tastefully and unobtrusively allow someone like me to enrich fellow SDMB member’s lives by giving* them physical manifestations of my creative genius (i.e. bawdy porcelain thimble art)?
The Answer: A SDMB forum dedicated specifically to SPAM—primarily member generated electronic SPAM (as opposed to the canned precooked product made by the Hormel Foods Company), with a strong emphasis on personal websites and web stores.
Forum Name: I recommend either “Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam…”, or “Spam & Eggs”, wherein members may only post SPAM if they include a personal egg-dish recipe (e.g. Coddled Eggs, Crumpets & Treacle à la Mangetout).
How the Spam Forum works: SDMB members may post links to their web sites/ web stores for the express purpose of having fellow dopers click through and either “buy” whatever they are “selling”, be it something of substance like a retail product, or something [del]stupid[/del] virtual, like a political cause or idea; or having them mock you and whatever you’re “selling”, with prejudice and without mercy. Either way, it’s a win-win situation: for the parties engaged in the transaction, and for observers watching a fun train wreck unfold. Sometimes I like to just window shop at Amazon.com and read their customer product reviews. I have a feeling that SDMB product reviews would be much more honest and entertaining.
Why it will work: Many members of the SDMB community, through the sheer will of their posts, have developed and earned substantial reputations—some good; some very, very bad. Fortunately, those who have garnered very, very bad reputations have most likely deluded themselves into thinking they’ve developed good reputations (this is where the entertainment aspect of the SPAM Forum comes into play). So, if one SDMB member is in the market for something another SDMB member is selling, and the “buying” member likes and trusts the “seller” member, that transaction has a good chance of resulting in a positive sale, later resulting in a glowing product review. Alternately, if the seller member has garnered a reputation for being an untrustworthy dolt, well let the mocking begin. Sit back and enjoy. If a seller member has garnered a faux good reputation, then deviously try’s selling something of dubious quality (i.e. crap), the forthcoming scathing review will put him out of commission for good.
Luckily for me and for you, I’ve garnered an exceedingly fine reputation here at the SDMB (when people think Tibbytoes, they think, trustworthy, talented, well hung…), so getting my wares into your homes is very likely to occur. And, really, who would not be happy purchasing one of my little thimble masterpieces (did you know that the valuation of porcelain thimble art is predicted to skyrocket in coming years? It’s true, the peer reviewed, esteemed professional publication, Thimble Art Quarterly, does not lie).
How to make the SPAM Forum safe and liability-proof: The SDMB administrators and moderators simply need to post a few of those little sticky messages at the beginning of the Forum: a “Caveate Emptor” sticky; a “no purchase of weapon-grade plutonium without an accompanying letter of need” sticky; a “no full penetration pornography restriction (unless it is very small and on porcelain)” sticky; a “no posting with sticky hands” sticky.
Reasons for Creative Loafing/Cecil Adams to include a Spam Forum: Well, if reasons like, providing cutting edge content to the masses, helping America recover from the economic slump via internet commerce, or maintaining the 1st and 14th Amendments to the Constitution of the United States aren’t exactly your cup of tea, then do it for the money, honey. You can put some kind of click-through charge on all SPAM links, thereby collecting a modest fee every time one SDMB member clicks to another’s web site. This certainly has the potential to elevate Cecil from being merely exceedingly wealthy, to being Jonas Brothers rich!
- By “give” I mean “obtain for a modest token of your appreciation: $29.95/thimble + $4.95 shipping + $39.95 handling”…hey, ever try to exsanguinate a virgin hamster?—those little bitches nibble…hard!
…Alright, disregard the silliness above and give us your opinion on having a SDMB Forum devoted to member web site/store postings. Questions: would you enjoy reading and posting comments in a forum of that type? If you wouldn’t enjoy that type of forum yourself, would you begrudge having it available for others to enjoy? Would you consider purchasing products from trusted SDMB members? Have you ever considered collecting porcelain thimble art for investment purposes?
