A Sexy, But Still Kinda Funny Torch Song

Cafe Society
1

An organization I work with is working on their yearly variety show, and I need to come up with a number. What I’m looking for is something that’s at least a little humorous, yet still in my (admittedly low for a female) vocal range.

Apologies in advance for not linking to videos of anything I mention, because I’m at work and I can’t get to many sites. :frowning:

To give you an idea of the kind of thing I’m looking for, one of my friends is insisting I just do Madeline Kahn’s “I’m Tired” from Blazing Saddles (which will not work because I’ll never find backup dancers). Two years ago at the first show, I did Post-Modern Jukebox’s version of “All About That Bass” with a bit of a striptease at the end. I’m hoping to find something I can play for the humor, but I’m drawing a complete blank.

My vocal range is on the low side of alto, practically tenor. I have just over three months to figure this out, which gives me plenty of time, but a solid twelve hours of racking my brain for songs has given me nothing.

Anybody have any ideas? :slight_smile:

2

How about Bonnie Raitt’s Love Letter?

Seriously sultry alto song.

3

If You Hadn’t, But You Did? It’s always good for a laugh, especially if you can have a guy facing upstage to shoot at the appropriate time.

4

“Fever” and “Is That All There Is?” by Peggy Lee could both be done with a humorous bent, and I don’t know really know beans about singing, but her voice is low, and I have seen/heard both of these songs done by comedians who can’t really sing all that well and do it with a comedy spin on them. Sandra Bernhard did “Is That All There Is” and pulled it off.

5

Son of a Preacher Man could be sold a number of ways, some of which could be sexy fun. ???

Or perhaps All the Single Ladies???

6

I just wanted to say that i am now stuck in a Postmodern Jukebox loop for a bit, and i blame you.

(I was familiar with them before, a little bit, but am now listening to Bad Romance and Womanizer and the like.)

7

Do you really want a Torch Song? Or do you want a funny song for an alto?

8

The general theme of the show is very burlesque/vaudeville. Most of my training is in musical theatre, so I would like to play to my strengths. I have always preferred comedy to drama, because I believe I’m just better at it. :slight_smile: I would say kind of the perfect example of what I’m looking for would be “Funny Honey” from Chicago, but I just don’t happen to want to do that one.

I’m really open to pretty much any suggestion, because I’m sure there are songs out there that I’ve never heard before, or wouldn’t have considered.

9

Elle King’s Ex’s and Oh’s could be pretty good. She’s got a lower voice.

Lizzo’s Phoneis funny but it’s rap.

10

That prompted me to look for “Bea Arthur sings” and I found stuff likethis and others – some straight and some humorous. Maybe those will help.

11

I love “You Can Always Count on Me” from the show City of Angels. It’s sung by the second female lead, and it’s about how she always winds up being the Other Woman. Sample lyric:

The boss is quite the ladies man
And that’s my biggest gripe
'Til I showed up he’s never hired
A girl 'cause she could type

12

That was actually my audition song for placement when I went to college. :slight_smile: It’s definitely on the list of possibilities.

(But thank you for being one of the only people I know who is aware of that show’s existence.)

13

Elton John’s “All the Young Girls Love Alice”?

14

[del]Steal[/del] [del]Borrow[/del] Reinterpret a similar scene from a movie, perhaps?

Jessica Rabbit from Who Framced Roger Rabbit

Valeria Golino from Hot Shots!

15

My immediate thought is Ruth Brown’s “If I Can’t Sell It, I’ll Keep Sittin’ On It”

Naughty and funny. It's often just called "The Chair Song".
16

Not sure ifthis has the tone you want… but it might work

17

I wouldn’t call “Funny Honey” a torch song at all.

Still, musical theater stuff -

“A Trip to the Library” from “She Loves Me”
“Nobody Does it Like Me” from “SeeSaw”
“The Oldest Profession” from “The Life”

18

The companion to which is “Oh, Ain’t It a Beauty,” as sung by Tim Curry… which doesn’t seem to be on YT, damn it.

19

Think you could find a pianist?

20

I get ideas, this version by M Ward.