You may recall this epoch-making LJ entry. (Malheureusement, the original seems to be flocked now.)
Perhaps it’s silly, but I guess it never hurts to be prepared: I’ve been putting together my repertoire for just this sort of occasion. The shortlist, in order, is:
“La Vie Bohème” from Rent
“My Night” from Closer to Heaven
“Cabaret” from Cabaret
“When You’re Good to Mama” from Chicago
“The Phantom of the Opera” from The Phantom of the Opera
So what’s on your list?
laughs, cries, and applauds
‘Defying Gravity’ from Wicked
‘On My Own’ from Les Miserables
‘Roxie’ from Chicago
‘When You Got It’ from *The Producers *
‘Big, Blonde, and Beautiful’ from Hairspray
À tout seigneur tout honneur - I’ll keep “There’s No Business like Show Business” in reserve.
Hernando’s Hideaway and Ssssteam Heat from Pajama Game
Possibilities from Superman
The Friendliest Thing Two People Can Do Was that from Superman, also?
The Acid Queen and Fiddling About from Tommy
Officer Krupke from West Side Story
Fugue For Tinhorns In Cheap Suits and Luck Be A Lady from Guys and Dolls, and maybe Sit Down, You’re Rocking The Boat just for irony.
It Ain’t Necessarily So from Porgy and Bess
Tits and Ass (Chorus Line)
It’s All The Same (Man of La Mancha)
Jesus Christ, Superstar (Jesus Christ, Superstar)
Now that is a hilarious and classy way to get rid of obnoxious proslet… evangili… douchebags!
“Sixteen (Going on Seventeen)” – The Sound of Music – esp. if there’s enough empty space in the car to reprise the character’s leaping on and off some empty seats, holding onto a pole, etc.
“If I Was a Rich Man” – The Fiddler on the Roof
“Time Warp” – *Rocky Horror Picture Show * (yeah, I know, it’s a movie, but the crowd would know it and maybe join in on the dance moves)
“Angry Inch” from Hedwig and the Angry Inch
Actually, The Rocky Horror Show has played Broadway. Terrace Mann was GREAT!
Suddenly Seymour from Little Shop of Horrors
Popular from Wicked
My Philosphy from You’re a Good Man Charlie Brown
Coat of Many Colors from Joseph. The bit about “It was red and yellow and green and orange and scarlet and black and ochre and peach and ruby and violet and chocolate and mauve and cream and crimson and silver and rose and azure and lemon and russet and gold and purple and white and pink and orange and blue” ought to go over really well.
The ENTIRETY of “Jesus Christ Superstar” (including that unfortunate song “What’s the Buzz”) and perhaps also “Godspell”
“Oh, What a Circus” and “Don’t Cry for Me, Argentina”-Evita
a truncated version of the opening of “Sweeny Todd”
Rainbow High from Evita. Really camp it up
I’m their Savior, that’s what they call me
So Lauren Bacall me, anything goes.
To be fantastic, I want to be RAINBOW HIGH
in fabulous colours…
You’re not decorating a guy for a night on the town.
And I’m not a second-rate queen getting kicks with a crown.
Wow! I didn’t think anyone remembered that one. Great song!
I’ll have to stick with songs I can sing, since I know the lyrics. There were plenty I’d love to sing, but probably would just screw up.
“Put on a Happy Face” – Bye Bye Birdie
“Be Like the Bluebird” – Anything Goes (since I sang in on stage)
“I Get a Kick Out of You” – Anything Goes
“Sit Down, You’re Rocking the Boat” – Guys and Dolls
“Heart” – Damn Yankees
“Racing with the Clock” – Pajama Game
If I knew the lyrics better, I’d add:
“Master of the House” – Les Miserables
“Those Were the Good Old Days” – Damn Yankees
“One” – A Chorus Line
“Cell Block Tango” – Chicago
Originally posted by Annie-Xmas
Don’t forget this little exchange:
Eva: They called me a whore. They actually called me a whore.
Admiral: Senora Peron, it’s an easy mistake. I’m still called an admiral yet I gave up the sea long ago.
Whoosh. That’s the sound of this entire thread going right past me at a blinding rate of speed.
Pretty much the entirety of The Mikado and The Pirates of Penzance, starting with “If Someday It Might Happen.”
As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
I’ve got a little list — I’ve got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground,
And who never would be missed — who never would be missed!
What about the cla-a-a-a-sics?
“I Cain’t Say No” from Oklahoma
“I Enjoy Being a Girl” from Flower Drum Song
“Getting to Know You” from The King & I
“You’ve Got to be Carefully Taught” and “There is Nothing Like a Dame” from South Pacific
That’s just what I wrote, until I saw your post on preview. 
The title escapes me
Herod’s song from Jesus Christ Superstar
“Prove to me that you’re no fool, walk across my swimming pool”
But, I’d change some lines like
“Turn my water into whine” sung in the voice of Fran Fine.
Basically, the whole song would be filled with stereotypical Jewish mannerisms.
Fershlugginer, meshuggina king of the Jews.
I’m not gay, but I’d just do There’s No Business Like Show Business in a full-on Ethel Merman impersonation and claim that I’ve been possessed by the spirit of theater. (Everyone knows that gays love the theater). Then I’d probably just go on to do a bunch of female-related songs: I Feel Pretty, I Enjoy Being A Girl, How Lovely To Be A Woman, I’m Called Little Buttercup, etc., etc., etc.
What are you implying? I’m not gay either. A man can like boobies and showtunes too ya know. Especially when it’s Bernadette Peters singing Sondheim.
Og, ya don’t think female Dopers think I’m gay? That they fail to approach me with offers of money, geek toys, and sexual ecstacy because they think I’m gay?
You’re talking about “King Herod’s Song.”