A stopping smoking bitch session (to keep MPSIMS semi clean)

The BBQ Pit
1

I am hung over and I only have three cigarettes left with 6 plus hours left till my official stop date/time.

Three cigarettes to last the rest of my life.

But fuck. You know what? This whole cigarette thing really sucks.

Fuck this shit. I don’t like this feeling at all.

“I only have three smokes left” “I have 6 plus hours but all I can do is think about those God-Damned three cigarettes.”

THAT IS ALL THAT IS ON MY MIND, those last fucking cigarettes!

WTF. This should not be all I think about. This is not healthy. This fucking nasty ass fucking habit really pisses me off. I missed the weather, I am missing the sports on the news all because I am obsessing over my last three fucking, peice of shit, nasty ass fucked up CIGARETTES!

I want to smoke but if I do, then I only have TWO cigarettes you see. This is not about when or how I smoke them, it’s about needing these little fuckers and the need is totally and psychologically driving me fucking nuts.

FUCK IT, I will have one of those last three now. Then I will only have two.

:frowning:

2

Take however many you have left at this point and flush the fuckers down the toilet. Then they won’t control you anymore. Be strong. I’m rooting for you.

Haj

3

ummm…

you did realize that this is an ugly experience, right?

trust me, it’s worth it.

think through unpleasantness, to where you want to be…

best wishes

hh

4

I’m with ya tech…

Sitting on the desk next to me is my last pack with only 5 or 6 ciggies in it… not buying any more!

At some point today I’m gonna run out…

5

Astro, Tech, here’s a fellow Doper who’s proud of both of you. I don’t smoke, but I am trying to lose weight. Breaking a bad habit is one of the hardest things one can ever do. Hang in through the tough times and know that we’re all pulling for you! :slight_smile:

6

I’m done.

I smoked my last cigarette about ten minutes ago. I smoked like a sumbitch today; went and hung out with a friend who smokes heavily (tried to get her to quit too, but she said no). So we sat around for about five hours, smoking, talking, smoking, digging the music, smoking some more, and oh yeah, smoking. And you know what? I feel like SHIT. I’m sick of this fucking habit and I want nothing to do with it. I smell bad, or I assume I do since I can’t smell a damned thing. My apartment smells bad. I can’t run a hundred yards without getting horribly, embarrassingly winded. I’ve been spending money that should be going to pay off debts and such on TOBACCO. What a horrible thing, to realize you’ve been paying huge multinational corporations to KILL YOU for half your life. Evil motherfuckers.

Tomorrow I’m getting up early to go play golf. Wide greens, clean air, and moderate exercise: hell yes.

Hmm, maybe I should go join the Y tomorrow too. Whaddaya think?

Stupid fucking cigarettes. Stupid me for smoking them. Smart me for NOT SMOKING ANYMORE.

Oh yeah, and I’m not getting the gum or the patch or anything. I tried the pills a couple years ago, and they were no help at all.

7

Ok, I quit smoking on July 4th. I’ve had my times, it’s been hard, and I still want one, but I’m not going to. I started off with the patch, had bad dreams so I had to wear them only during the day. After a week, I tried Welbuton, couldn’t sleep, so I decided to just do it on my own.
The longer I go without one, the angrier I get at myself for allowing me to get so addicted to this drug called cigarettes. And yes, it is a drug. It’s horrible.
I take each day as it comes, try to watch what I eat, and I can actually, really feel the difference that not smoking makes. I smoked for 30 years.

8

Update us, techchick68 on your successful first day of quitting smoking (unless you’ve already done that in your Great SDMB Smokeout thread, maybe I’ll find it again).

You can do it! You are stronger than your urges. After all, if you get the urge to kill someone, you are able to overcome it and not commit murder. You can overcome your urges to smoke and not commit suicide!

So here’s my addition to the bitch session: That damned Wellbutrin, it does help you not smoke because you feel like shit. It’s helping me not eat or sleep either. I’m all wired feeling, my stomach hurts, and I woke up in the way-early a.m. this morning and could not get back to sleep and just laid there with my mind racing around for three hours. I’m sticking with it, though, in the hope that these feelings are temporary until I get used to it. Right now I feel like jumping out of my skin, and I even took a Xanax this morning, hoping it would lessen this racing-mind, hyper feeling.

ultress, congratulations! After 30 years you just quit, that’s amazing. If I may be so bold as to offer some advice: reward yourself for your achievement. I got an expensive tooth-whitening system both to reward myself and so I wouldn’t want to go back to smoking and yellowing my teeth all over again. I also got a manicure. Can’t wait 'til those yellow fingernails are all healthy and pink and white again. These things help me to not go back to smoking.

9

techchick68: I sympathize (empathize) with you so much that I can’t even express it. The main reason I quit was because smoking became so damn important, so much a focus of my life, that I just couldn’t stand it anymore. I didn’t quit for health, money, appearance (although these are all negative aspects of smoking)—I quit because I truly was a slave to smoking. It’s natural to panic at this point, but you must get beyond it. Remember how psyched you have been in your other threads. At some point soon you will shift focus to looking forward to a day/month/year/life without smoking. It will be a relief on many levels. Really. Please don’t lose your focus and your will. You don’t need the cigs. You don’t want the cigs. That’s that. I am rooting for you with all of my heart.

10

So, I had my last smoke last night… and went to bed.

I woke up at about 6 or so, to a crashing thunderstorm and raindrops coming through the screen and smacking me in the face! I did what I do every morning when I wake up: reached for my smokes… Fuck! That’s right! I’m quitting, and I have NO SMOKES! :frowning:

I wisely decided to just go back to sleep for a while…

A couple of hours later, I woke up again, and decided to get up and head in to the office (it’s great having your own company, in that I get to decide when I’m going in and when I’m leaving for the day!).

Seemed kinda weird drinking coffee without a smoke, but so far I’m not jonesing too bad… Took a shower, got dressed and headed out.

By the time I got to the office, I was pretty spaced out… starting to feel it now…

I booted up the computer, checked the e-mail, got a few other things done… and got a phone call: it seems that the galley sheets for the new book had been delivered to the store next door because no one was here at the office when the delivery guy came… OK… gotta run next door! While I’m there, I’ll get a bottle of water.

They also sell cigarettes.

Total elapsed time from quitting to buying a pack at the store next door? About 13 hours. :frowning:

Fuck I am weak!

OK… doing it again tomorrow… except for the buying the smokes part, that is!

The dumbest thing is that, having smoked, I don’t feel one bit better! I’m still spacey, still craving a cigarette, still not happy!

Must remember this tomorrow!

So: Today failure…

Tomorrow starting again!

11

Smokedall the way up to Kool’s in 20 years.
Could not run and carry my hurt son, was a bad feeling… Quit for 12 years… Went back to smoking and straight to Kool’s… Quit 10-30-96… still quit. I did it for me… Still bad days but… so what…

Front doors of Sloan Kettering Cancer Treatment Center…

sign say it has been told to me…

“If you smoke Kool’s, we can not help yiou.”

12

I should make this my sig…

I stopped smoking after 26 years, 2-3 packs a day. It was 2 years ago September. No patch, no gum, no drugs. Read this book , and it can save your life and your sanity, too. The most important and powerful thing it did for me is ** * change the way I think about smoking, * ** so I wouldn’t be so tortured about it. And it sounds like that is exactly what you need.

13

Patches and a 4yr old who cried and said “I hid your cigarettes mummy before you got up, but I knew you’d be really cranky so I had to put them back”

Four years and severe episodic asthma later I am not even tempted to light another one.

Good luck Techchick68

14

I started smoking at 15 and quit at 56. I burned up a ton of money and made my cars, hair and clothes stink of cigarettes. Kissing me was probably like licking an ashtray. I have had three surgeries for oral cancer and my second hand smoke put my wife in the hospital with bronchitis twice. I guess I am a slow learner, but I did finally see the light and I am glad to hear that so many others are seeing it, too. You can do it and you will be forever glad that you did. STICK WITH IT!!!

15

Quit 4 months ago. I’ve fallen off the wagon a few times, but always hopped right back on. It’s hard as hell but NOT IMPOSSIBLE…

You can do it!

16

Personally, I think you are going about it all wrong. You are setting yourself up for failure. Obsessing about your last few cigs is just going to make you want them more.

Here is a method that might work better:

Buy a couple packs of cigs. Enough to last you for 2 days. Smoke 'em. Lots of 'em. More than you want. Indulge 'til you puke. For two days. And realize that in two days, you will declare yourself free. During this time, make a list of all the benefits you will get from not smoking.

On the end of the second day, just before you go to bed, chain smoke a few. Then throw the rest out. Soak them in water to make sure you don’t dig them out of the trash. Throw away your lighters and ashtrays. Declare your home a smoke-free environment.

The next five days you will suffer. You’ll crave, but realize that cravings only last for about 3 minutes. Ride it out. Be strong. Look at your list. Think about how much better you feel.

Your 3rd smoke-free day will suck. Be prepared. Be strong. Read your list.

The 2 days that follow will suck, but less. You are winning.

After 5 smoke-free days, there will be no more physical cravings. It’s out of your system. Psychological cravings will persist, but that’s easy. You’ve already proven that you can withstand the physical withdrawel, so the rest is cake. Every day is easier than the last.

Take it from me, this works. Just don’t fall into the trap that I did, which is to say “Just one won’t kill me.” That one (after 2 weeks of health) did me in. Dammit.

17

Ahem, I would like a small rant.

Dedicated to my boss…who told me yesterday as I was leaving I was doing a good thing (quitting smoking) and that he would no longer smoke in the building, nor would the others working here.

(Great: he’s actually going to enforce the law about smoking in the workplace)

You must have closed the doors and windows and fucking hotboxed the entire building. There were no ashtrays in sight at two pm yesterday. There are now fucking five, and each one of them is overflowing. I emptied the (small) garbages into the (large) garbage and it appears that the overflowing ashtrays are not indicative of the amount of smoking done in the last twenty hours or so as there is a pound or so of ash in the trash. There is ash on the floor that wasn’t there yesterday. The ashtrays were so full you had to ash on the ground. Don’t worry, ‘the help’ will clean it up tomorrow. I know the ash wasn’t there because I cleaned the floor.

I do not have a problem that you have decided against quitting smoking yourself. I do not have a problem that your wife can’t sit on the can without a butt (ha ha! I slay me!)

What I have a problem with is you opening your big, lying bad-breathy mouth and saying “I won’t do this anymore” and then doing it to the point where I am choking…and cleaning your goddamn ashtrays. KEEP YOUR FUCKING MOUTH SHUT (or it may swell up on you all at once dickface!)

I apologize for the lame rant. Perhaps I should look at the stench as an excellent reason to continue being a non-smoker.

ps in my bitterness I threw one of the ashtrays on the roof. Shhhh! Don’t tell.

18

Since we havent’ heard from Techchick, I’m thinking the failure she set herself up for has come to pass.

Read that book, techchick, and you won’t have to be so torn up about quitting. You will look forward to it joyfully. Trust me.

19

I think she said she had some family obligations etc. and would only be able to check in infrequently…but I could be wrong.

I got the book too Stoid…but I ignored one piece of advice (using the patch) I plan to suceed in spite of this. I really enjoyed the point he made about the cold sore and the ointment. :slight_smile:

20

Don’t jump the gun on that thought, Stoid. techchick posted in this thread (link is to page 3, where she posted) at 8:00am PST today that she’d been smoke free for “One day, 13 hours, 48 minutes and 19 seconds. 63 cigarettes not smoked, saving $7.88. Life saved: 5 hours, 15 minutes.” That’s the primary SD thread she’s using to check in with (in addtion to a Live Journal thing she’s also got going). This one was just so she could rant about it when she felt like cussing, to keep MPSIMS “clean”.

Good Luck, techie! I hope you’re still going strong since your last check-in. You Can Do It!

My smoke meter now reads: 1 month, 2 days, 14 hours, 18 minutes and 2 seconds since my last cigarette. I’ve not smoked 671 cigarettes, saving $112.55, and adding 2 days, 7 hours, 55 minutes to my life to spend with Thomas.