Every 100 years all the inhabitants of hell must write down what will be done for the next 100 years. The guardians of hell collect these ideas, and chose from them the worst and most unpleasant of them all. The writer of that idea spends the next century in Limbo, whilst all the other residents suffer what that writer discribed.
Strangely enough, Heaven is precisely the same.
Um, what?
Hmm, a DIY Dante thread. Okay, I’m in.
Denziens of hell are forever damned to review unending auditions for the singing asshole part in Pink Flamingos (sitting really close) while listening Anna Nicole Smith whine about leaopard print fabrics.
<sniff sniff> Brimstone and barbecue… AAAAUUUGH They’re out of hot dogs! And the cole slaw has pineapple in it. German potato salad! Noooooooooo!
To clarify, in Heaven, of course, the people just wtrite pleasent things to happen to each other…
the one who writes the least pleasant misses out.
In hell they write unpleasent things to happen to each other. It is a inhabitant-created heaven/ hell sort of idea 
I like the dante thread idea though.
Cheers, Keithy
I’d hate to be in that sort of Heaven. Imagine the stress. And what happens if you forgot to submit your ballet?
Then you must wear the tutu they assign you.
[sub]I’m so sorry…[/sub]
…man, I was just waiting for that shoe to drop after I hit submit. Damn these fingers of mine, damn them hell… 
Now in that situation would slortar’s fingers be able to collectively write, or would each finger write independently?
Inquiring minds want to know.
Wait a second…
SO if I’m in hell, I get to write unpleasent things happening to say the Olson twins, Brittney Spears or any of several dopers who piss me off?
All of which makes me happy.
But if I was in heaven, I’d have to write nice things about them
Which would make me sad.
whew thank god I’m an athiest
I assume each finger would only get a 3/5’s vote. It is hell, after all.
Hmm. A prisoner’s dillema. What happens if everyone in Hell doesn’t write anything down?
A rerun of last years torment?
Like this season’s FOX lineup?
Last century’s torment, more like it.
OK, here’s a devout, but unorthodox Christian’s best shot at it.
Hell:
Picture yourself at your crankiest, most judgemental worst. That’s how your fellow denizens of Hell will behave towards you. Also, on a personal note, this will be accompanied by crowds, noise, and chaos beyond imagination.
Heaven:
This is tough – even Dante didn’t do it well.
Unconditional acceptance, even of your worst screwups and episodes of thoughtlessness.
I’ll also throw out the Mensa description of the EG* (Eternal Gathering): [ul][li]Anyone you ever wanted to talk to is there and wants to talk to you. [/li][li]Anything you ever wanted to learn is right there for the learning, including the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything. (All together now: 42!)[/li][li]Any discussion you ever wanted to have is going on, right there, right then, and there’s a chair waiting for you, but it never conflicts with another discussion you wanted to have. [/li][li]Anything you ever wanted to eat is right there, in perfect form, in just the quantity you want and, given the dynamics of heaven, non-fattening.[/li][li]Anything you need to say can be said to whoever you need to say it to, including no one and including God and will be given a fair hearing.[/li][li]Anytime you need a hug, whoever you need it from, whatever sort of hug you need, from an old friend’s “Good to see you!” to a “We’re so sorry” group hug, it’s there in just the form you need. “Hug” in this case is defined as any human contact and, I think, some forms of divine.[/ul][/li]
*EG is a take of of RG, Regional Gathering, and AG, Annual Gathering.
CJ
Catch you guys at the EG, but none too soon, I hope.
In Hell, there is a huge banquet, but the forks are longer than your arm so you can’t get any of the food to your mouth. So you spend your time wailing and gnashing your teeth over all he beautiful food that you’re missing out on.
Heaven is like a huge banquet as well, with long forks. But everyone feeds each other.
I smell concrete.
So why don’t they just eat with their hands? Or break the forks? Or hold the forks halfway down the handle? Or…
Satan: “Oh, an Analyst… we have a special room for you…”
In hell you are cursed to endlessly search the SDMB for cites using a 286 PC with Windows XP and a 300 baud modem.
In Hell, whenever there is a barbecue, they will be all out of hot dogs by the time you get there. The cole slaw will have pineapple, and, oh yeah, GERMAN POTATO SALAD! :eek:
sorry I just had to say that
Horseflesh: Now that would be hell :eek:
In Hell, everyone would have to be chained with a demonic version of my kid sister when she’s eating fifty Pixie Stix at a time.