I didn’t mean specifically you, I meant general you. Calm down. As for my son, it’s much easier for him to grasp a relatively large thing such as a phone as compared to a small, slender thing such as a knife. I didn’t say he couldn’t grasp at all, only that he has trouble.
I’m going with some kind of disability (caveat: without having been there). My daughter has action tremors among other challenges, so I am familiar with someone that can do some actions and not others. Eating is a special challenge that so many of us take for granted but can be an Everest of a mountain to climb with proper utensils. Yes, I could see how someone with an action tremor could text but not fork their food. And trust me, I sure as hell hope my daughter can reach the level the OP is ranting about some day.
I regularly observe Gen X’ers, Y’s, Z’ers who lack the ability to use cutlery, among other things. Doesn’t matter the restaurant quality, either. The more we create “tools” that allow people to just point, click, go, stop, whatever, without an underlying meaning, the more people can’t think/learn/act for themselves. Heinlein was correct.
Frankly, humanity went to pot with the invention of the spearchucker.
Heinlein’s an idiot and specialization is what makes humanity so goddamn powerful.
The way the OP described the girl’s actions sounds a lot more like disability to me. She made several attempts to use the utensils, and was unable to cut, stab, or scoop. Even a toddler can scoop with a utensil. A disability like cerebral palsy can render a person unable to form a secure enough grasp or have enough strength in their hands to use utensils efficiently. If she was just an entitled teenager, wouldn’t she have just passed the meat off to her father initially for him to cut it?
I’m fairly sure she wasn’t disabled. She entered the restuarant complaining about not being with her friends for Christmas eve. Her dexterity was very good with everything else. She talked and texted as fast as any other teen I’ve had the pleasure to know.
From the conversation (which was loud, I wasn’t making a special effort to hear) her dad works on the road as does her mother. Dad eats there often enough that the wait staff knew him by name. This was the first time for the girl. Her mom was out of town and that’s why he brought her, he didn’t want to leave her home on Christmas eve.
If she had a disability, it was very subtle.
I wasn’t making fun. I just thought it sad that she didn’t have the expertise to cut her food.
Disabled does not mean mentally challenged.
Exactly my point. 
I’m not talking about adults. I’m talking about kids her own age – if we were talking about a normal, non-disabled girl, wouldn’t she be worried her peers would make fun of her? All the more reason she’s likely to be disabled.
And it’s possible she has a physical disibility but not a mental one, picunurse. Hell, it’s also possible she’s disabled AND a spoiled brat. It just sounds odd enough the way you discribed her eating that I would point more towards some kind of physical ailment.
Nm. Making my exit, stage right.
That’s not true. Cerebral palsy is a disorder with a wide range of severity, from people who have little to no voluntary control over their movements, to those who simply appear to be somewhat uncoordinated and clumsy.
Also, cerebral palsy is only one possibly explanation. There are a wide variety of disorders that can lead to lack of motor control and lack of muscle strength affecting only one part of the body.
I concede, you are right about the wide range of CP. Not all cases are severe. The only reason I mentioned CP in my post is because numerous posters in this thread had speculated about it being the likely explanation.
My somewhat lengthy reply to this thread will not be available, due to the overwhelming possibility that no matter what I say may be met with “You’re an insensitive bastard”.
Somebody, somewhere, could say that about everyone here, given the right circumstances.
The OP was not malicious in nature, and shouldn’t be taken as some affront to mental illness in any way.
Were I the OP, I would have this shit locked post haste, because nothing draws more attention than the last thing that needs it.
Can you understand my user name? I know what disabled means. I worked in pediatric ICUs all over the country. I’ve cared a full range of both mental and physical challenges.
I saw her gait & her fine motor movement. I heard her speak, I saw her type. As I said before, if she had an impairment, it was subtle.
I have poor fine motor…I have a CP grip, meaning I hold my fork and utensils weirdly, but my typing abilty is awesome …can text like a mofo…I can however cut my own food
CP, arthritis, MS… there are a few conditions I can think of where a person may have grip issues. When my Dad’s wife’s MS got bad enough that she couldn’t squeeze a fork well enough to hold it steady, she was still able to cradle a phone and dial it quickly. Fingers moved okay, but she couldn’t squeeze. Of course, when she’d deteriorated to that stage, she was also wheelchair-bound, so I doubt MS is a likely mystery illness for the teenager in question, but it’s worth mentioning that there are conditions that can cause problems with grip.
I have a very hard time believing she was just lazy. The food-cutting, maybe. But stabbing at mashed potatoes repeatedly, and giving up to use her fingers? Even my 18-month-old nephew has figured out that you need to swipe some foods at an angle to fill a spork. Unless it was the most pathetic and over-the-top “omg I’m so helpless, you need to help me” display in the history of humanity, I think it’s likely the girl had some sort of issue we don’t know about. Even if she’s grown up on fast food - you use a spoon in an ice cream sundae! It just doesn’t make sense.
She knew how to cut her food and I doubt she had a condition. Again, it’s likely she was just fucking with him.
It’s easy to imagine: Girl and dad are already fighting (OP said she was complaining about not being allowed to see her friends) and at the restaurant she sits there fucking around with her food until he does it for her so she’ll stop embarrassing him.
I’m thinking way too much about this.
Assuming the girl is physically unable to cut her own meat, why would she order steak? Or maybe the question is why didn’t the dad choose a different restaurant? Because I’m certainly not saying that no one who cannot cut it up herself should ever order steak. But, if my child couldn’t cut his steak, but wanted steak and I didn’t feel like cutting for him I think I’d take him to a hibachi place where the steak comes already cut. Or thinking as my teenage self, particularly if faced with that menu, I might choose my meal based on what’s easiest for me to manage, and if that means fries for dinner, so be it. Unless I was in a mood to cheese off my dad…
And Chefguy, when you say “went out with” do you mean on a date or for a few months?
Data point: My mother’s 65-year-old boyfriend’s son (who is now in his twenties) had his father cut up his meat, at home and in restaurants, until he was 16 years old. Not at all developmentally disabled. Just some odd quirks of parenting (in this case, single parenting; his mother had died when he was about nine.)
So, an example very much like the OP’s. Thus, I suspect the OP’s example didn’t involve any disability, either.
My hands have always been weak when it comes to gripping. From Kindergarten it was hard to hold a pencil, and through out my life it’s been an issue. It’s especially bad first thing in the morning, and it runs in my family. I can play the piano, type (our old manual typewriter was torture though) and text, but opening a bottle is a day-long exercise in frustration. I can see how, if it were just a little bit worse than it is, pressing down or sawing with a knife would be really difficult.
And I do try to do these things on my own; my loved ones will stand by while I work at it until I finally give up and hand them the bottle I’m trying to open, or the lemon I’m trying to zest, or the turnip I’m trying to cut through, and they’ll then do it for me sometimes even mangaing to suppress the eyeroll.
It’s entirely possible that what you saw was the result of pure neglect, but it could also be underdeveloped muscles in the hands.
My 30-something nephew who is now apparently practicing law in a firm in the US didn’t learn how to eat or drink properly – my sister couldn’t be bothered to show him proper table manners when he was a tot, so would just let him do as he liked.
This meant a steady diet of dry Cheerios and McDonald’s fries and chicken nuggets (and yes, he was an overweight kid); he ate with his fingers and only drank through a straw because he never learned properly how to handle silverware or how to drink out of a cup or glass. My mother tried cooking a decent meal for him once when he was about 12 or 13, and after sitting there weeping because it was too ‘weird looking’ (it was a simple pasta dish), shoved fistfuls into his mouth until he made himself puke back onto the plate.
I’d pay good money to see if he still eats this way, especially with clients or the boss.