Would your son poke at his food like a monkey until you helped, though, like the OP girl, or would you just, y’know, HELP HIM?
Sorry, but if I witnessed this, I’d assume she had a neurological condition and would proceed to mind my own business.
That would depend on the people involved. What some people see as “help”, others see as “MYOFB!”
Not having witnessed the incident, my opinion is worthless. However, as a fifty-year-old man who has a central nervous system issue, I can share some of my experience.
When I am having one of my Orlac episodes (when my hands do not obey me) I am stubborn enough to keep trying until my wife gets tired of watching the show. If I recognize that I am having a bad day I will avoid anything which needs dexterity or grip strength. But I do not always realize I am having problems until I’ve dropped something a couple of times.
I can text and speak perfectly well, and most days would have no trouble cutting a steak.
Maybe she had ADHD and Asperger’s and Seasonal Affective Disorder and fibromyalgia and her religion forbids her from cutting her own food, and she wasn’t “texting” but communicating with her companion Tamagotchi that she is legally permitted to carry with her to help prevent panic attacks and provide alerts for oncoming seizures. Bet you feel like a real heel for never considering that scenario, don’t you, OP?
That is unless you have similar afflictions, in which case you really can’t be blamed for the content of your OP and are owed a round of apologies by all the critics in this thread… it’s zebras all the way down!
If she has the motor skills to grasp a phone and text and the motor skills to stab mashed potatoes with a fork and eat off the tines then she should have the skills, strength and wrist movement to hold a fork and eat mashed potatoes in a normal enough manner.
I say this because (regardless of any handicap) she demonstrated the motor skills and articulated movement needed to scoop and eat. As to cutting the steak I cannot say. That could be all manner of bio-mechanical issues.
About 17 years ago or so, I witnessed a friend in her home at dinner time cutting up the meat for her 3 children before she served them. They were in middle school at the time. There was no reason in the world they couldn’t handle their own utensils, except for Mommy. We haven’t lived near them for years, but I have to wonder how the kids turned out. And until this thread, it never occurred to me that she wasn’t an isolated case.
Maybe that is why you are a nurse instead of a doctor. Critical diagnosis is not often done for someone nearby over dinner at a restaurant. Subtle does not mean non-existent.
You as much as anyone should realize that casual observation doesn’t always reveal all of the facts.
Sorry… don’t mean to be harsh, but it is clear that I and some other’s here have had to deal with judgmental people before.
Of course… there is still a chance that she was just spoiled 
Horses, not zebras. There are far more self-absorbed parents who feel it’s easier to cut their child’s food for them and don’t allow them the time and proper foods/tools to practice fork skills with than there are children with very specific and subtle disabilities that allow them to text, walk, talk and not eat mashed potatoes.
And Spud, noticing physical impairment is well within a nurse’s scope of practice. She may not diagnose the specific neuro/bio/contagion causing the impairment, but Delayed Growth and Development, Impaired Physical Mobility, Self Care Deficit (Feeding) and Disturbed Sensory Perception are all recognized NANDA nursing diagnoses …as is Impaired Parenting.
Gen Xers? You realize Gen Xers were born in about 1965-1982, so are in their 30s and 40s.
Cutting the steak I could see as a lack of being taught, but stabbing at and unable to work mashed potatoes? Eating with her fingers because she couldn’t master mashed potatoes with a fork? Something else seems to be going on here.
You’re right.
[anecdote]Working as a cashier, I once had a very old, very decrepit man come in and start talking complete gibberish to me. He clearly wanted something, and looked to be an English-language speaker, but was just babbling at me. I tried to get him to write, but he just made scribbles. After a minute or so, an equally-old woman came in and inserted herself into the situation by asking “Did you get the directions to XXX?” Reflection after the fact led me to believe that he must be a proud, declining man who WANTED to be “able” but just couldn’t. He at least wanted to TRY, though, and his wife let him.[/anecdote]
This entire thread is clearly just an astroturfing campaign for the 13 Coins restaurant which is pointlessly linked to in the OP.
How sad is that?
I agree… noticing a subtle impairment is one thing. Not considering conditions not understood is another. I have three teens, and know some who are very spoiled… including at least one who would have no problem asking her mom to cut her steak. I do not know any who couldn’t eat mashed potatoes without help unless there was an underlying condition which makes me think there is something more.
I have a slight impairment… I can do 99% of normal things, but there are a few things others think of as normal that I can’t do unless medicated. I can text just fine. Tell me to put one pea on the end of a fork and get it to my mouth… may not happen. Ask me to write on a white board… no problem… ask me to fill in the little form with one box for each letter… may not happen. Maybe my parents just didn’t raise me right. Yes, I’ve had to have my kids fill out a form for me, and yes I’ve seen the people around me think I’m an idiot. It isn’t fun.
The kid may have had a severe case of essential tremors… and grasping the utensil with the full hand is a stability measure… as is bracing it with the other hand.
If it was up to my ex I have no doubt my daughter would need help at 16 cutting her food. I at least try to do my part by making her do it herself. She is now 11. Spoiled teen is much more likely than a rare physical ailment that a trained medical professional can’t detect.
You don’t think your 11 year old could figure out mashed potatoes and cooked broccoli!?!?
This whole thread is preposterous. I’ve seen lots of spoiled teens, I’ve NEVER seen a confirmed case of someone being unable to eat mashed potatoes due to lack of training. Hell, we had some Chinese folks over for thanksgiving; people grew up on chopsticks and still managed to figure out how to get mashed potatoes into their mouths with a fork. The idea of a teenager being SO SPOILED that she couldn’t eat mashed potatoes by herself is absurd. It would be a record-setting level of spoiledness. The idea is so far out there that for anyone to assume it’s the most likely option baffles me.
Just because you don’t understand it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
It is possible that the teen was just spoiled. And it is possible that the person who looks able bodied but parked in that handicapped space is just faking it. Just understand that this isn’t the case 100% of the time.
Oh, and let’s tease them on a public message board!
But she couldn’t scoop potatoes and would just poke at her food? That’s much more likely than a motor skill problem?
And as someone who enforces those parking spots I know that the vast majority of the time the person parking there is not handicapped.
From what I read, the OP and her husband did “mind their own business.” They did discuss this, but after leaving the restaurant.
You said she was eating with her left hand, did you specifically see her hold and phone and text with only her right? Isn’t it possible she had just banged up her right hand, was temporarily left-handed and had figured out how to text but not yet how to properly hold a fork? I split open a fingernail a few years ago (as in, cracked on the nail bed, with blood), for about a week I was use my left hand for most tasks. I had to figure out a way to drive, text, and type right away, but handling silverware was not an immediate need. My husband could make sandwiches for me, but he couldn’t really sit at my laptop and do my work for me. And I had to be able to use a phone to call him.
Either way I don’t really see why you would spend time thinking about this. Yeah I know the kid and her dad don’t know that you were judging them, but when you post a thread you invite reactions and my reaction is that wow, you sound really judge-y of this kid who AFAICT didn’t do anything to you personally and maybe was just having a shitty Christmas without her mom.