I would like to thank your glorious omnipotence for the amazing dinner that is front of us. I would also like to send thanks for
-Parting the Red Sea
-Saving Isaac
And here’s what I wouldn’t like to thank you for
(sorry for the overuse of “countless” and “million/s”)
-Stalin’s massacre of 30 million
-The Holocaust
-Japaneese slaughter of millions of Chinese
-Millions of Native Americans killed by European disease and war
-Countless dead during The Crusades
-Countless dead during The 100 year war
-Hiroshima and Nagasaki
-Countless dead Africans on their way to “The New World”
-Black plague
-Leprosy
-Heart disease
-AIDS
-Polio
-Cancer (esp. giving it to my brother)
-Downs Syndrome
-SIDS
-9/11
-Miscarriages
-and oh by the way, screw that dinner too, my Uncle and Aunt work hard for their money, which they used to buy the food, which some rancher/ farmer worked hard to raise. They also put alot of time into cooking/preparing… you sure didn’t miracle it onto the table
If you’re out there God, just nod or say you’re welcome, I’ll be listening
And of course, mankind had absolutely nothing to do with any of the things you mentioned. Why shouldn’t we just be able to run rampart through the world, doing as we please, killing, robbing, maiming, eating enough for six people instead of just ourselves and to hell with what we eat that doesn’t matter. To each his own, and hey, then we can just blame it all on God, after all, it’s not like we ourselves had anything to do with it. Let’s just take credit for all the good things and when something bad happens, we all know who is to blame for that.
I was trying to make a sarcastic point about people attributing everyday occurences (as a meal) to “miracles” and having to thank your ever powerful deity to those events
And mods, I hope I’m in the right place for this kind of thing, sort of new here
Announcer: “And the award goes to the most wonderful and dominant YEP”
YEP: “I’d like to thank god today. Only in her immense glory could I have ever achieved such a colossal honor. In her vast wisdom she has bestowed upon me the greatest of awards and apparently everyone who did not receive this award is not blessed or even liked by god.”
How come the losers never spite/blame god for allowing their opponent to be them?