In yet another installment in the annals of the continuing crisis, the Tooth Fairy was just exposed as a chiselin’ cheapskate . . .
My son just lost his second tooth tonight at dinner, and he was decidedly unenthusiastic about the whole thing. When I pressed him, he said, “I only got a lousy two bucks for the first one.”
It seems his friends at school are averaging $10 a tooth, and he’s understandably a bit miffed. Nobody told me about this $10/tooth thing, and now the Tooth Fairy is behind the eight ball in a big way.
Do I leave him 20 bucks this time to make up for the previous ‘slight’, or just leave another two bucks and tell the ungrateful little punk to count himself lucky that the ‘Tooth Fairy’ didn’t leave him toothless for complaining?
Dr. Watson
“A failure is a man who has blundered, but is not able to cash in on the experience.”
Our tooth fairy leaves a single Susan B Anthony dollar per local tooth fairy union regulations. If my daughter whinges about the amount I will inform her that her friends tooth fairies must be non-union.
Good God, inflation has really hit the realm of Faerie. When I was a tad, I only got a quarter for a tooth. Tell the little whippersnapper to be grateful for what he got.
O, Mother o’ pearly teeth, has vulgar commerce invaded even whimsical rites of passage? Um, guess so.
Dr. Watson, you’re a great dad and do not, I implore you, succumb to ruthless kid negotiation. The whole tooth fairy thing is a milestone, where parents can observe and celebrate growth. Permitting it to be degraded into Dow/Jones returns blasts the whole meaning into kitty litter.
The godamned point is your little boy is growing, and you as his dad know that. Squash any tendency toward cash rewards and insist on the real stuff. The “tooth fairy” money is symbolic, and sounds like it’s time to instill reverence for symbols.
Give the kid and token amount and then flood, innundate, overwhelm him with attention. Find out who is at this age. He doesn’t won’t remember or value money, but he’ll treasure observance.
Good gad, but that’s sanctimonious. Feel free to smack me upside the head with a dead carp. (The lives ones wiggle so.)
I can’t tell you how tempted I was to use the ‘Non-Union’ Tooth Fairy bit . . . but I was just sure I’d end up getting a call from some teacher’s union rep . . .
I may up the ante a bit, but I’ll be damned and filed away before I’ll play keep-up-with-the-Jones on this petty a level.
He asked me at bedtime what the Tooth Fairy does with the teeth after she takes them, and I told him she gives them to little babies in New Jersey who can’t afford teeth.
That ought to give the greedy little germ sponge something to think about.
Dr. Watson
“Money isn’t everything, but lack of money isn’t anything.” – Franklin P. Adams
as a mom of four, oldest being 8 next month… we’ve lost lots of teeth so far… we rate coin amounts on the importance of the tooth… front teeth get 50 cents, the ones beside front, a dime or 2, etc., etc.
he tells me that some of his friends get more (though i’ve never heard of $10!!!), but there are always some who get less. when he questions the different amounts, we just tell him that it depends on how many kids lost teeth that night. sometimes she has change, sometimes not.
is that any help?
“…for i am always a lady, archy… always a lady. i did not do anything vulgar. i simply removed his right eye with my left claw.”
mehetibel the cat on the subject of marraige
You could tell him YOU’RE the bloody Tooth Fairy and you’ll be damned if you’ll cough up that much dough for a lousy tooth. It sounds like he has some doubts already.
Give him thirty F’in bucks! That way he’ll go to his friends and tell them that he got thirty dollars from the tooth faery. Then they’ll tell their fathers, and they’ll start sayin “shit! that guy is one ass kickin’ money mamajama! And he’s probably got the biggest dick on the block!” Er… at least that’s how I see it. Oh, by the way if you happen to be a famale, switch all of the male stuff to female stuff, M’kay.
I always got a quarter too. My sister’s kids know the name of their tooth fairy is Mary. A friend of mine writes notes on the computer in the smallest font and size possible and puts them under the pillow with whatever money he leaves.
So basically I have nothing really insightful to add to your post. I just thought I’d share some other tooty fairy stuff.
I realised the Tooth Fairy wasn’t real when, while peacefully drifting off to dream world, a hairy hand pulled the switch. In a moment, I realised “Hey, the tooth fairy wouldn’t have hairy hands…wait a minute, my DAD has hairy hands…” and I put two and two together.
I got a dollar. I enjoyed the concept of being able to buy candy for teeth that have fallen out. Fancy me: a fan of irony at 6.
Geez, my local Tooth Fairy must be a cheapskate. My daughter has lost four of her teeth in the last six months or so and she has only received a quarter for each one. In fact, she visited just the other evening. Of course, the first tooth my daughter lost, she accidentally swallowed, but she still got a quarter anyway by the Tooth Fairy. My daughter asked me how the Tooth Fairy knew to come, I told her that I write a letter, just like you write one to Santa. So the other day when she lost a tooth, I helped her write her own letter.
Shadowfox
“The dead have risen, and they’re voting Republican!” - Bart Simpson
This is too late to help settle last night’s dilemma, but my kids only got a quarter a tooth (as recently as last Spring).
Our biggest fights were over the description of the Tooth Fairy: I insisted the he was a burly guy that was around 6 feet tall, while the kids insisted that she was a diminutive creature with gossamer wings. (They refuse to believe me, but I’ve been there, and I know.)
When I thought I’d bee a smarty-pants as a child and try to blackmail my mom into stuff by hinting that I knew who the toothfairy was she’s say, “Well it’s up to you if you want to believe or not, but maybe the tooth fairy won’t come if you don’t believe.” I ended my questioning there.
My son got one dollar per tooth. The last one he lost he was big enough to write. He put an envelope under his pillow with the tooth in it and a note that said “Two dollars please” he got the two dollars for being so original.
I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it.