But not for long. I have brought with me my newest invention! Truly, this shall revolutionize the lives of bored rant-writers like me forever! It’s called, the
Big Wheel o’ Topics!
So let’s give it a spin, and see what I’ll be ranting at for now.
Okay, it landed on…
(Stupid piece of junk!)
AHHHHHHHH!!! JESUS GOD IN HEAVEN, MY TOE!!!
<pant pant> Okay, wheel, that’s it. Just you and me now, it’s on.
<battle cry, crashing, banging, screaming, creaking, smash>.
Oh, GREAT. now my friggin FOOT’S caught under it.
Oh well, at least it couldn’t get any worse…
AHHHHH!!! THE WHEEL EXPLODED!!! HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN?! IT HAD NO FLAMMABLE PARTS AT ALL!!!
AHHHHH!!! I’M VERY BADLY BURNED!!! HELP!! ARGH!!
Oh, thank god! Officer, please help me. I can barely feel the lower half of my body! Please, sir…
<gruff voice>Alright, buddy, you’re coming with us.
What, but, I’m dying!
Yeah, well, you should have thought of that before you stole the wheel.
But, I didn’t! That’s my big wheel o’ topics!
What the hell are you talking about? You stole that from the wheel of fortune studios, you bastard.
But, I, uh…
You’re lucky we didn’t let Vannah come along with us to get you. She’s pissed off, man.
Aw, nuts. I was gonna ask her out after this.
Yeah, not with no skin you ain’t, burn boy. Now let’s go.
(Okay, forgive me, I’m bored and have nowhere else to go.)