A traffic Rant

First of all, you must realize that, while I live in New Jersey, I’m only a recent transplant; here less than a year. I still have my South Dakota roots, where people tend to drive somewhat sanely…every place has it’s jerks, though.

That said…
**GET OFF MY BUMPER, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!! ** When I’m driving down a crowded highway at 50 mph, the last thing I want to see is your car so fucking close that I can’t even see your fucking headlights!!! Do you honestly think that you’re going to make me drive any faster!!! If you’re going to ram into me from behind because you’re in such a fucking HURRY, I’d rather it be at 30 mph than 70!!! And who the hell says you’re the only person that counts on this stretch of pavement, that EVERYBODY ELSE has to MOVE ASIDE for you, just so you don’t have to use your brakes!!! Who made you the Emperor of Route 1??? I’d love to see your sorry ass piled into a ditch somewhere, except I’m also sure that you’d end up taking some of us with you!! You don’t know how close I am to just slamming on MY brakes and letting you buy me a new truck, asshole!!! And guess what!!! I bet I could drive home in my truck, with its heavy bumper, while YOUR sorry-ass little Toyota or whatever dinky little thing it is will be towed away. [SIZE=3] GET A CLUE, YOU FUCKING MORON!!! [/SIZE=3]

And your idiotic cousin (you just GOTTA be all related somehow) who insists on weaving through traffic like some sort of prehistoric drunken snake; who will insist on waiting until [SIZE=3] 100 GODDAMN FEET [/SIZE=3] before the exit before pulling directly in front of me [SIZE=3]WHILE BRAKING[/SIZE=3]in order to get off the highway. This despite there being a quarter-fucking-MILE of clear space behind me!!! What the hell is the MATTER with you fucking IQ-deprived lunatics!!! Do you think that braking every once in a while will ruin your masculinity or something???

I am so [SIZE=3]SICK AND TIRED[/SIZE=3]of all those crazed idiots out there whose entire idea of traffic safety seems to be: “Here I come; get outta my way!”

Oh, and red lights are NOT just a suggestion…[SIZE=1]fucking assholes[/SIZE=1]

awwww…kinda ruins the rant when the SIZE /SIZE thingies don’t work properly…

…working slowly towards my 1st 100 posts…

Umm…

Did you get the memo about “Preview”?

Hmmmm…I did a search…must have missed a previous thread.

My apologies; I’ll look again.

Uh…

whoosh

Nope, I believe you meant:

WHOOSH!

Don’t make me write it out in smiley art.

All right, all right, all right…I’m sorry! I didn’t look close enough when I did my (ok, limited) search. I really didn’t mean to be this bad…sniff

Can I donate some donuts to the SDMB munchie forum?

…but dammit, it still felt good…