dumbass drivers!

The BBQ Pit
1

To the fucking idiot that slammed on his brakes after cutting me off in traffic: Yes you fucking idiot, I am tailgating you. I’ll gladly get off your ass when I have a chance to, but you swerving in front of me did not allow me very much time to slow down, considering there is a fucking eighteen wheeler behind me. Flicking me off will definitely get the point across…not only are you an absolute fucking moron , you’re pissed as well. Great. Maybe if I rear end your suburban hard enough it’ll knock your head out of your fuckin ass and cure that whole cranial-rectal inversion problem.

To the worthless poon that pulled in front of me and then STOPPED IN MOVING TRAFFIC: Don’t sit there and yell at me. Shut your worthless cum guzzling cock holster, open your fuckin eyes, and hit the goddamn gas! You are stopped in traffic! To bitch at me! How sweet! Your words are the auditory equivilant of a big steaming pile of donkey shit. I really don’t care what you have to say. I had the right of way. Learn how to drive or shut the fuck up.

To the stupid bitch on the cell phone, who decided not to drive through the intersection when the light was green: Jesus fucking candy coated christ on a stick! How in the hell did you get a license to operate a vehicle? I wouldn’t trust you on a goddamn tricycle, and you’re allowed to operate a two ton car…go figure. You are a complete moron, and the only reason I resisted getting out of my car and beating you unmercifully is the fear of punishment. I should be able to slaughter people like you by the dozens and get a damn reward for it. Shut your cum-dumpster, get off the phone, and pay attention to the lights. Green means go. The gas pedal is on the right, and it is your friend. Use it to get the hell out of my way before I snap and follow you home so I can blow your damn car up and not have to worry about your sorry ass impeding my normally joyful driving experience.
Whew! Prolly not a good rant, but damn, that sure felt great :slight_smile:

2

We feel your pain! :slight_smile:

Good rant.

3

Oh THAT’S a keeper! :slight_smile:

Regarding target #3… you should just do what my friend and I do when we find ourselves around a driver like that. We just yell out, in unison, “GET OFF THE GOD DAMN PHONE!”

Sometimes they hear us (good),
Sometimes they don’t (enh…),
But it’s always cathardic.

4

You should work for Hallmark. Nice job. We’ve been there.

5

Just today I saw someone do a three-point turn IN AN INTERSECTION, against the light. Yup.

6

verrrrrrrrry good idea! heh-heh-heh… rubs hands and grins evilly

7

I’ve been driving between 110 and 170 miles a day to get to my job for more than 15 years now. I see this all the time.

I have a rant or two myself on this subject: The single factor that keeps me from bringing weapons of mass distruction along with me on my daily drive is that people that drive like that eventually get nailed.

I watch people day after day talking on their cellphones, reading the paper, putting on makeup. I make careful note of their cars, sometimes even writing down plate #'s.

When I see them on the side of the road, being written up by a cop, or being sliced out of a mangled car which is crammed under the wheels of a semi, it makes my day.
Sorry if that sounds cruel, but if you can’t drive, get off the road or these things will happen to you.

So look for the morons sliding into a concrete bridge abutment. They’re the ones you saw yesterday cutting people off and flipping them the bird.

b.