I take an “Expressway” for a good portion of my commute. What I absoulty loathe are those buttwads with tiny pricks who move over from the right lane onto an onramp lane and pretend that they are merging traffic. You are not!!! ** Your destination is NOT MORE important than mine!!!. I had the manners to be patient and wait my place in line but you think you are better than me? You are an ASSHOLE!!! And for what? To move up 6 or 7 car lengths! Do you really think that is going to make a difference in the grand scheme of your worthless life? If you are that late, stop pulling your pud in the morning and leave 5 minutes sooner!!! And if I see you pulling this little stunt and do not let you in front of me when you are trying to merge, SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! Don’t give me dirty looks and even dirtier fingers. I don’t HAVE to let you in. You were fine where you were! I’ve got a destination too you know! Cocklicker! And that goes for you drivers who pass up an opportunity to merge a little further back in order to force yourself in from of someone 3 cars further ahead. ** LIKE IT MAKES A DIFFERENCE YOU FUCKNUT!! Have some respect for those around you who have the decency to follow the rules of the road!
There are a few other bottlenecks on my trip where others blatently disobey traffic laws, not to mention the safety of others order to shave 1 minute off their morning drive. I wish I had the resources to post pictures and/or their license plates somewhere where people could see what douchebags they are!
So to all those dickwads… I am a better person than you. I have more respect for others than you. And that will serve me better in life in the long run. Fuck you all!!!
One guy I knew was such a bad tailgater that when got to a party late he’d say, “I would have been here fifteen seconds earlier, but the car in front of me had a bike rack.”
I would like to add, if I am nice enough to let you in in front of me – atlas give me a courtesy wave…show your thankful – it makes the world go around.
I’m wanting to turn right at a stoplight. The light is red. There’s no trafic on the cross street. Can I turn right? NO! Because Einstein in the left turn lane driving the SUV big enough to warrant its own zip code has pulled halfway into the intersection.
So I can’t see the cross traffic. I would glare at the guy, maybe give him the finger, but he can’t even see me. I sigh, breathe a few times and wait for the light to change. So the left turn light goes green, and Einstein, 40’ into the intersection so he can gain those crucial milliseconds, takes an hour to start going (probably he had to re-start the nuclear pile powering the damn thing). I mean, if you’re going to be a complete insensitive asshole, you just can’t beat getting it both ways and slowing everyone down.
Personally, I believe that all SUV’s should have a window in the middle of the frame just for cases like that.
Of course, just 'cuz someone’s driving an SUV, that’s no reason to get on their ass. I was driving on the freeway once at 'bout 1:00 AM… there’s only a few other cars on the road. I’m in my mom’s Expedition (huge car, nice to drive, but I’d prefer someone smaller).
As far as I know, I didn’t cut anyone off (I’ve been in the same lane for the past five miles), I didn’t block anyone’s view, etc. etc. Suddenly, this dinky lil’ sports car (I forget what make and model, I’m bad at that sort of thing) zips by and pulls right in front of me, and slows down to maybe 45 MPH (from about 75). I have to slam on the breaks. He then changes lanes and lets me pull even with him, and begins to shout shit that I really couldn’t make out. He then “circles” (slows down, changes two lanes behind my car, then speeds up, and pulls in front again) and slams on the breaks again, then speeds up and drives off at well over 90 or so.
I drive the 101 freeway and have to merge onto the 134. There have been signs, boldy announcing that this interchange is approaching. There have been signs for 3 fucking miles. I saw them, and got into an appropriate lane, foolishly thinking others should do likewise. Some of them do not.
They wait till the last fucking possible second and expect me to let them in! I let them in, either because I’m a nice, polite individual, or a spineless weenie. But I feel like following them home.
Woo Hoo! Excellent rant. Covers my commute to work to a tee.
As a side note, I work night shifts and I frequently work on the weekends. You would think that this would provide some relief from the parade of assholes in traffic, but on the weekends it gets worse. The expressway turns into a fucking raceway for for asshole teenage boys in Trans Ams and Mustangs or it is playground for cars full of teenage girls who do everything but pay attention to the road. I nearly got run off the road twice last weekend by a Chevy Suburban full of girls who were smoking, eating ice cream and talking on the phone. When I was a teenager I never understood why insurance companies charged higher rates for kids. Now I know.
Specifically, this is directed to the fuckwad who kept blowing his horn at me at the stoplight while I was trying to leave NC State campus ON Friday.
I understand that North Carolina’s laws allow you to turn right on red. BUT WHEN THERE’S A FUCKING CAR COMING I’M NOT TURNING OUT INTO TRAFFIC!!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!!! YOU’RE NOT GOING TO GET THERE ANY FASTER BY TURNING RIGHT ON RED ANYWAY BECAUSE THE NEXT DAMN LIGHT IS ALWAYS RED TOO!!
I never pretend to exit the freeway. If traffic is stopped I always exit, cross the other road, and reenter on the other side. Pick up a good 30 or 40 cars and shave at least 30 minutes off my commute. Don’t like it? Tough! You choose to sit there. As long as I’m not breaking the law (driving on the shoulder etc.) or driving recklessly I’ll spend those extra minutes in the morning having my girlfriend pull my pud and arrive at work earlier and happier than you. You probably like to drive in the left lane doing the speed limit or pacing a car in the right lane creating a rolling road block, don’t you?
Then there’s the two stupid fucks who nearly crashed me all within my 10 minute drive to work yesterday… one dipshit next to me must have thought his piece of shit car could outgun me at the lights… he raced past me half a block later, cut me off, and then slammed on his brakes. WTF?!
I never used to understand road rage but it’s better to blow it off here than when I’m behind the wheel.
Most of my driving experience is in L.A., I am beyond trying to figure out moronic behavior on the freeways. As far as city driving, however, I have one nagging complaint. LEARN HOW TO MAKE A GODDAMN LEFT TURN ON THE YELLOW.
When you are in the left-turn lane, get your ass in the middle of the friggin’ intersection. One car gets behind you, and another gets his front wheels past the cross-walk. When the light turns yellow, ALL THREE CARS MAKE THE TURN.
Don’t pause for someone to wave you across, show some initiative or you screw up traffic in both directions. If turning left makes you nervous, than stick to right turns. It will take you longer, but you won’t hose anyone else.
Now I feel better, thanks for the opportunity to vent.
Well if someone pulls that little stunt, then I have no proof that they are an asswipe and I let them in. Luckily for me, there is no opportunity for someone to do that on my morning drive so I don’t have to worry, although I know of many places where it would be possible.
But so what. It is still disrespectful to those other people. There will always be a portion of the population with the “Me First And Damn The Others” attitude and I realize that. Doesn’t mean that I have to like it and hence my rant. To say that I “choose to sit there” means to me that I have some common decency.
…and just in case by boss is reading, I always arrive to work happy because I love my job …
Amen brother!! I also hate those guys who just came on the road, driving past the end of the merging lane and try to jump into traffic like they just suddenly realized that the lane didn’t continiue. One of my alltime heros was a trucker who pulled halfway between the right lane and the merging lane just to block people trying to do both of those things. Too bad my insurance is so bad allready that I don’t dare to do that mydelf.
If you think all of that is silly driving, try comming over here to Saudi Arabia. They all drive like maniacs, I have seen them make a left turn from the right hand lane, across 3 other lanes. I have seen them drive on both shoulders at better then 140kph, seen 60 auto accedents after a sprinkling of rain. tailgating, driving way to slow, cutting across all over the place, and then you have the added joy of guess who the terrorist will be, havent run into that one but one has to be vigilant since some people don’t like American soldiers in this country. but on the plus side, I have pass a traffic cop doing better then 140kph.
Construction zone. One lane going west. 2 lanes going east. One of the east-bound lanes is left turn only. East-bound lanes have a red light. A car pulls into the west-bound lane - on-coming traffic lane! - and turns RIGHT! I wish there had been a car coming head on at him. Moron!
I stop at a red light wanting to make a right hand turn. I see a car coming but it’s a few seconds away still so I pull out and make the turn. I’m not sure if this person thought I was cutting her off or if she was just upset that I infringed upon her God Given Right ™ to have the road to herself, but she was obviously pissed. At this point In a few seconds I was doing around 42 on a 35 MPH one lane street. She sped up, went into the oncoming traffic lane, and passed me! As she was doing this, I looked over, she had an evil look on her face and she gave me the finger. I was actually more stunned at this than pissed.
Oh, and I’ve decided to adopt a policy of not letting anybody into my lane if they don’t have a turn signal. Yes, I know this lane is ending. I know you need over into my lane. If you would stop staring at me and use that energy to flip that little lever on your left, I’ll be glad to let you in. No, not that lever, that one gives you food pellets. Yes, there you go. Good boy.
