My mother died from a suicide June 14, 1999. Her and her boyfriend of three years had just broken up, and unable to deal with the pain she decided to take her own life.
She lived a very hard life. During childbirth her mother died. Her father blamed her for this, so she was forced to move in with her aunt at the age of 7. My mother and her sisters fought constantly. She was told virtualy everyday that if she wasnt born their mother would still be alive. This hurt her terribly. Despite all this abuse she grew up to be a very caring and loving person.
At about 16 she ran away from home. She was on her way to a city where she would be able to meet up with one of her aunts. It took her about 2 months to get there. During this time she had to live out on the streets begging for money. This was hard due to the fact that she was used to being provided for at her other aunt’s house.
When she got her own place she allowed orphans left out on the street to come to her house where she fed and clothed them and provided a place for them to sleep. She did this out of her own pocket. She was pretty well off financially due to her uncle owning a big farm in the Phillipines. Every week or so he would send her money for things, but she still held down a job for the extra income.
At about 22 she met my father. He was in the navy and was on shore leave at the time. They met, she got pregnant and they got married. Her uncle objected to this but she would not listen to him. My mother and my father were in love at the time so they eloped without her uncle, who was the one who provided for her most of her life, permission.
Due to the fact that he was in the navy we moved around alot. I was never able to make friends for long, but that’s the price you pay when your a millitary brat. During their marrige they had my brothers one who is 16 and one who is 13. They also dont look a thing like me. I look like my dad (got the short end of the stick there) and they look like my mom.
After about 8 years of marriage they got a divorce. Each of them had affairs going on. My mother couldnt stand my father and my father couldnt stand my mother. So they split up. My mother was given custody of us.
She worked everyday of her life to make sure her boys had food on the table and clothes on our backs. We might not have had the name brand clothing but we had clothes. We never had a night where we didn’t have anything to eat. She worked 60 hour weeks to provide for us. It was hard for her to be a single parent raising three boys on her own. At night sometimes we could hear her crying softly in bed. I tried my best to be as helpful as I could to her but sometimes I was a complete brat and didnt listen to a word she said. And for that I am sorry.
The day that she died is a day I will never forget. My brothers and I went with our father to get our millitary ID renewed. We went around 7am and got back around 10am. When we got back we were hungry so we asked our mother for some money so we could order a pizza. After it came our mother dropped off my youngest brother at a friends house and took my other brother to work. When she got back she stayed out in the living room listening to music. I went to go check the mail and I got my report card from school. I found out that I passed, I was afraid I would have to go to summer school, I told my mother I passed and she said “I know” she had faith in me even if I didnt have faith in myself. Those were her last words to me.
Everybody wishes they could go back in time and change things. If I could I would have gone back and spent more time with my mother. I would have told her everything I had wanted to tell her. I would not have gone out with friends instead of spending time with her. But you cant change the past, only learn from it. So to everyone out there who is putting off telling someone you love them or who is taking for granted that they are always going to be there for you or that you dont need to say you appreciate them and that they are needed, don’t. Life is full of surprises, good and bad. You never know when a loved one will be taken away from you. Tell them that they are loved, needed, and appreciated. It is one of the greatest presents you can ever give someone.
For My Mother
I love you and I wish you were here with me right now. Happy Mother’s day mom