Yo' Mama (A Mother's Day Thread)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Surprised I don’t see one of these, but perhaps my search fu is weak. Sweet or sour, we all have memories of our parents, and I’m sure some of the stories are very interesting. As a genealogist, I’m very interested in what people had to deal with long ago, what motivated them, etc. So hopefully some of you have something to relate.

My mother was born in 1911 to what would be considered a middle-class family in post-WWII America. She had college aspirations, but when she graduated high school in Portland in 1929, the worst economic disaster in history hit, and she had to find a job to help support her parents and sister. In the middle of that mess, she married and had two children around 1935. Her husband worked remotely in Alaska, while she stayed with her mother. Just when things started looking a bit better, WWII broke out and she was dealing with rationing and the fear that comes with wartime.

Just after the war ended, an unplanned child came along (me), which meant once again resetting her life. Then her husband left for good, leaving her to work two jobs in order to feed her kids and pay the rent, and to fend off those who would take advantage of an unattached woman.

As you might imagine, life toughened her and made her resolute, but left her little time to be a doting mommy. Rearing me was left to my sister for many years. She never let herself be in a vulnerable situation again, working her entire life until retirement at age 65.

She was tough, she was practical, and she was largely unsentimental after a life of hard knocks. I know she loved us, and she never laid a hand on us. I respect her survival skills, although I think mothering was something more of a duty than an act of devotion for her. But I understand where she came by it and respect it.

2

My mother is still alive, and out of respect I won’t discuss her here at this time. However, I took her out for breakfast and bought her flowers and cake to celebrate The Day Of Ma. I considered starting a thread asking Dopers if they received anything, or did anything, or used to do anything for Mother’s Day. In so doing, I stumbled upon this thread - and am surprised to write the first response 10h later. But most Dopers are not young, and I don’t know if this is even a holiday everywhere.

There are many Mother’s Day threads from previous years.

3

That loud “thud” you heard was the thread dropping dead.

4

My MIL is in her late 80s and doing well. Two of her older sisters have died the past year.

We visited her and brought a case of beer. She doesn’t normally have beer in her house, but if we bring some she puts away her share.

5

For my mom, we (extended family) got together at the local pizza parlor on Saturday for Mother’s Day. We brought in dessert and just had a good time catching up.

6

Thread will surely die if I post. Oops, sorry🤭
I had a tiny mystery gift. An e-card to hobby lobby.
A nice dinner and no drama, Mama.

:smiling_face:

7

I hadn’t spoken to mine in 10½ years; my regret was it wasn’t 11½ or 12½. The only Mother’s day I celebrated is where it is just the first half of the word.

8

Mine was a pretty good Mother’s Day. I got to spend the day relaxing, ignored by my youngest, Eggs Benedict for breakfast and coconut shrimp & ravioli for dinner. I got to talk on the phone with my mom for a bit. It was a good day.

9

Guess I’m bumping a 363-day old zombie thread.

Today is my mother’s first Mother’s Day without my dad. She’s going to spend a quiet day at home.

I actually came here to mention the Google Doodle, which includes a 5-legged dog. LOL

10

I don’t really know how to talk about my mother without getting too bleak. She was, and I presume still is, a deeply disturbed person, having come out of a mess of childhood trauma herself. She got (unwillingly) pregnant at 18, decided at the last minute not to place me for adoption, had a difficult childbirth while she was in the middle of Spring Break. Never missed a day of college.

Graduated with a B.S. In mechanical engineering in the 80s. I remember sitting underneath her desk in class, coloring. I guess I was a pretty well-behaved kid. With only a few exceptions, my early memories of my mother are mostly positive.

Then things started steadily going downhill. By the time I was in my late thirties, the relationship was dead. That’s about all I want to say about that right now. I wish it could be different but it would require the patience of a saint to make that relationship work. I tried so hard, that’s all I can say. I tried so hard.

I became a mother in March 2020. I was terrified of becoming like her at first, so I had to get a whole parenting therapist to learn that it’s normal to occasionally be pissed off at your kid, not a harbinger of abusive parenting. I started off feeling like I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing but as my son has blossomed I’ve gained confidence, I’ve gotten to the point where I know I’m not perfect but I’m a good Mom. I love my son so much it hurts. And I feel good to be able to give him what my mother couldn’t give me, including a loving father.

Sometimes I think, well, if my childhood was necessary for me to learn what I needed to be a loving, supportive parent to this little boy, then I’ll take that burden in a heart beat.

Today has been pretty low key. I slept in instead of going to sangha (we were up late at a wedding last night.) I worked on a puzzle, we played Chutes and Ladders as a family, we went to the park, I got a smoothie, and I’m about to make nachos for dinner. My son gave my two hugs before bed. I’ve had worse days.

11

My Mama died when was very young.
I have no memory of a Mother’s day with her. I know I clung like moss to her. Most of my memories are about hiding my
face in her hair and neck or behind her legs. When she died I transferred that to my Daddy.

For years I sent him For being like a Mom to me type cards on Mothers day.
He found that funny.
We spent lots of time together so I have no regrets about that.

My own brood waste too much time and money on me for the day. It’s very nice of them. But just too much stimulation for me.

12

My birth Mom died a few years ago. I just wished my Stepmother a happy Mom’s and Grandmom’s day–she’s a tough nut, but a great foil for my 86 YO dad. I’m super glad they found happiness together the last 30 years…

13

My gf’s mom has been my mother for the past 7 years (when my mom died). We had a very nice Mother’s Day.

At one point I mentioned that kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit messed up.

That joke led to hours of discussion and anecdotes.

14

My mom will be 84 this summer and she is aging rapidly now. It’s really hard to watch. She was a young-acting mom when I was a kid. She listened to all of the popular music in the 70s, she always looked beautiful whether she was at home or going grocery shopping. She played games and cards with us kids. After I was married with my own kids, she became the best grandma. She babysat my kids while I was working for many years. She was/is a great mom. I always picture my mom the way she looked when I was a kid.

My MIL died this past March, so Mother’s Day was kind of tough for my husband.

We had everyone over for a cookout on Saturday, that way the families could also do their own thing on Sunday. Each family brought something for the meal. It was the first perfect weather day we’ve had so far this spring. We were able to be outside all day. It was a really nice get together.