A vampire, a werewolf, and a zombie ...

Bites you at the same time.

Assuming you get away, what happens?

I go to the nearest bar, where the bartender asks me if this is some kind of a joke…

You probably become an NPC, because Abominations are ridiculously overpowered.

Bah, any real mythology reader knows that monsters aren’t “infectious.” If you get away, then you’re lucky and have some badass scars and a good story to tell.

Vampirism requires the exchange of blood over a period of time to induce.

Lycanthropism mainfests at the next lunar cycle, but I am fairly sure that death prevents the expression of any symptoms.

Zombie bites cause death very quickly, and then the virus reanimates the corpse to act as a distribution vector.

So clearly, in a multiple attack situation, the victim will most likely become a member of the shambling zombie horde. (Next full moon may be interesting, though.)

As DrFidelius said, the vampire hasn’t done enough to make you a vampire (although the “over a period of time” part varies).

The question is whether the werewolf healing factor kicks in before you get turned into a zombie. You’ll either become a werewolf and shrug off the zombie bite or you’ll die and become an ordinary zombie.

The “Underworld” series of movies explores what happens when you combine Vampirism and Lycanthropism. Maybe in a future installment they’ll add in Zombieism for the perfect storm!

I’m pretty sure that there is a latency period of about four weeks before the lycanthropy kicks in, but I must admit to being behind in the literature. Last I heard, a theriomorph only has the accelerated healing factor when in beast form (during the full moon) and is only human-normal (maybe bad-ass normal) the rest of the month. I am open to being corrected, with proper citations of peer-reviewed literature.

You need to tell us about each of the creatures first. Is it a Buffy type Vampire? An Underworld type? Etc.

You become a Jefferson Starship.

You can have the lycanthrope template and either the vampire or zombie template on a creature, but only if you apply the lycanthrope template first, because the lycanthrope template can only be applied to a humanoid or giant, and vampire and zombie both change the base creature’s type to undead. You can’t have both the vampire and zombie templates, since neither one can be applied to an undead (vampire is applied to a humanoid or monstrous humanoid, and zombie is applied to any corporeal non-undead creature with a skeletal system). So whichever of those templates you acquired first would make you ineligible for the other one.

You’re subject to a spell that can only be broken by a priest, a minister and a rabbi.

In a bar.

A vampire, a werewolf, and a zombie walk into a bar. The vampire orders a bloody Mary, the werewolf orders a Coors Light(Silver Bullet, ya know) and the zombie stabs the bartender in the head with a straw.

If I was writing the story, lycanthropy wins out because it keeps you alive while the other two are death-based. You’d come close to death, but heal and become a werewolf.

A vampire, a werewolf and a zombie walk into a bar, because shambling hunger-driven undead creatures of the night are too stupid to watch where they’re going . . .

Forgive me for intruding in this thread where I have no business . . . I don’t follow these kinds of horror stories much . . .

I am wondering, is there something particularly bad about being a werewolf?

D’oh! Joke already taken.

In that case, a “serious” answer. Zombification would triumph over all others.

Waking up one morning with your face covered in the blood of a half-eaten child?

You’ve basically got two types of werewolf: modern hippy werewolves, and the originals. The former might be a furry’s wet dream, but the latter means a few times every month you turn into an amoral monster.

The whole going-feral-and-cannibalistic-without-any-control-whenever-there’s-a-full-moon thing could be considered somewhat bad, yes. And of course, the origins of the myth have a lot to do with grisly murder and/or rape - many historians and folklorists have attributed vampire and werewolf legends to dark age hick explanations for actual serial killers’ sprees, so there’s that. Finally, from an allegorical or symbolic point of view the myth of the werewolf is “man pursuing his basest urges to the point of losing his humanity” written large.
They’re not *supposed *to be cool, is what I mean.

I would imagine there are two types of Werewolves, the kind that get off on the freedom and seeming lack of responsibility for their actions and the ones who feel guilty for the horrible things they do when they are turned. For the former, it’s a blessing; for the the latter, it’s a curse.