A very minor golf rant

No, not about slow play, or hitting into me…

Earlier this week I took an opportunity to do a solo walk on onto a little par three. I was “paired” with an older couple nearing retirement. Lovely people, but I heard a story I’ve heard many time before, and it happened with my parents…

The woman was just learning to play golf. Her husband she described as “pretty good” (he was either off, or regularly shoots about 110). He’d decided she should learn to play golf so they could play together during retirement. And given that she’d taken it up last year, she wasn’t too bad - although you couldn’t tell by his nagging…

Listen guys (and I know I’m not talking to anyone here, as I think there are about six people on this board who golf - all who I think have more sense than this), if you want your spouse to play golf with you in your old age, don’t spring this on her when she is 58. Encourage her to play the moment you marry - before then - golf dates! Don’t expect her to watch the kids while you hit the golf course every Saturday for fifteen years, to pick up a club and be able to keep up on a long 18 when the kids hit college age. It doesn’t work that way. Don’t go on golf weekends with the guys for twenty years, never inviting her along, and then nag when she doesn’t know her seven iron from her three wood when you suddenly expect her company on the golf course. The day will come when you will need her on your Jack and Jill team, and you will start nagging her for not being able to read a green - these things take practice! Give her lessons for Christmas and clubs when she is 28 instead of 58, by the time retirement comes, she may be able to do something other than “putt off the tee.”

And, for God’s sake, if you don’t bother to do this, at least keep your mouth shut when she does finally learn to golf as a favor to you. Get her some lessons and try to scronge up another woman golfer she can play with. Cause you will drive her NUTS. She doesn’t know a pull from a slice and telling her “you’re slicing it” doesn’t do her any good. She can’t keep twelve “swing thoughts” in her head at once any more than you can. You’ve been playing this game for forty years - tweaking your swing one little bit at a time, give her at least a couple before you expect her to be able to make regular contact with that darn ball.